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Your Wonderful Two’s – A letter.
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Gosh! The older Lexi gets, the more she looks like your Mom! They have the exact same smile! 🙂 She has some of your hubby’s features as well.
Those Lourdes tunics are so precious!
Aww she does look just like your mama especially with her glasses on.
Too cute!
Awwwwwww 🙂
This is so touching and adorable!
She is such an amazing and sweet kid with a really interesting personality.
What makes her so attentive and sensitive to the needs and emotions of others is that you guys have always been attentive to her needs and feelings 🙂 It all pays off now.
What an amazing progress in one year, huh?
Makes me soooo curious to see what kind of person she’ll become later 🙂
Where did you read that the terrible twos is actually referencing the age from 1 to 2? I’ve never heard that before or seen it anywhere.
Several books and places online. It’s a common misconception. It’s the 2nd year that is supposed to be terrible, because they are unable to express thins they want with words and get frustrated due to that.
Can you link to the source/places online or say the book? I want to share with my husband, because that totally makes sense to me!
I’m sorry I don’t remember where I saw it exactly. Try googling it.
Argh! I can’t find it. I’ve tried everything I can think of, haha. Has anyone had luck finding it?
I have a toddler and have thought that the last year has been so wonderful and people keep telling me to “just wait” so I want to show them that we’ve already passed the stereotypical bad months!
Sorry, can’t help you 🙁
You don’t need “sources”, though, to see whether your child is having emotional issues connected with toddlerhood or not. Whatever the age is, they should be treated the same: with respect, understanding and love.
This isn’t some fact to find back up for, all children are different. Some have problems in the 2nd year, some in the 3rd, some don’t at all. A year between 1 and 2 is much more challenging in my opinion, because they can’t do as much as they want and can’t communicate well.
Here is a Babycenter article about a similar concept, but it’s not backed by anything (not that it needs to). It just talks about how 2 year olds are actually fun, which is something I agree with:
http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-2-year-old-big-emotions_5934.bc
Hi Elena, a completely off-topic question. I’ve been following your blog for some time and I’m really amazed by the high level of self-confidence you portray. Would you say that you got it from the way your mother raised you? Is Andrew equally confident too? Is it a genetic trait? How would you ensure that this trait passes on to Lexi? As a mother to a little girl, I’m very interested in knowing an answer to this question 🙂 Thank you 🙂
Charlotte,
that’s an interesting question. I have to think about it to give you a good answer. Remind me if you don’t hear from me for a while.
And no, Andrew struggles with confidence from time to time. Less now than before we met, but it still occasionally surfaces. He draws a lot from me which really helps him be more confident, as well. But I am not totally sure where mine comes from without taking some time to analyze it.
just tried googling and found nothing. very curious about this too!
there is this book called ‘ my 2 yr old – terrible or tender?” whose author’s theory is that it’s always the 2nd half of the year/age that is difficult. 24-30 months is supposed to be a breeze but after that till around 3 years old the terrible 2s happen.
I did hear that three is harder than two but here’s my opinion: every age is hard and every age is awesome. Whether you consider it terrible depends on your child’s personality, your parenting style, your personality, your outlook on what you consider terrible in a child and finally your family situation.
Twos, without the apostrophe … 🙂
Anyway, grammar aside, Lexi is so, so cute.
Yes, 2 years old is such a fun age. My little girl Vivienne is 3 weeks younger than Lexi. It’s amazing the similarities in learning. I almost could have written this myself- the ABC’s, counting (Viv gets stuck at 18 & 19, then tells 20!), songs. Although Viv is a bit more on the independent side, maybe more quiet you could say. Like she loves to color and build block ‘houseses’ and actually doesn’t want my help- just tells me to come look when she is one. My little engineer 🙂
Don’t get hung up on the ‘terrible twos’ — it’s just an American expression, not a hard based fact. I found from 1-2 easy because even though she was frustrated with not knowing the words, she wanted to learn. My mom said my sisters and I were the terrible 3’s.
And don’t worry about the tantrums and hitting (although I wouldn’t let the cute apologies get out of hand, where she begins to hit others just so she can apologize.
That’s cool on the learning similarities 🙂 It’s amazing how they pick up things like that so fast.
Not sure what you mean by saying “don’t worry about the tantrums and hitting”. She doesn’t hit, or have tantrums (at least not what I would call a tantrum), she is a very sweet kid when it comes to that. I think you’re referring to her accidentally hitting me while moving in my arms…
You said in the post that Lexi sometimes hits you “not so accidentally” when she’s frustrated and that she throws herself on the floor crying when she doesn’t want to do something. The latter is what is known as a tantrum (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tantrum). Both the hitting and tantrums are pretty common for 2 year old kids.
AH! I see! That was a typo, she never hits on purpose. Only when playing/moving around or in frustration (like throwing arms around, I think i might have meant that by no so accidentally), but not meaning to hurt (off to edit). That’s the one thing I really hope will continue (fingers crossed)
Her “tantrums” isn’t throwing herself on the floor crying like I’ve seen kids in stores do.
“throwing yourself on the floor with a pained expression and a whine and laying there” That’s not a tantrum, that’s a show of displeasure. She doesn’t lose control, she can be easily calmed, she doesn’t throw things or throw herself around or kick, or scratch, or do any kind of intense behavior while having her “mini-tantrums”. And they last 10-15 seconds at most, after which she moves on or asks to be breastfed (usually the latter).
I think she’s only had 2 or 3 actual tantrums total (with crying and intense emotions) and that was when she was 16-18 months. They quickly dissipated as she got older.
Side note: Who even came up with the word tantrum? That’s so demeaning to the child. They don’t have tantrums, they get upset, which is what adults do,too. Sometimes even worse.
i have been wanting to say that my daughter is just like yours in many ways. she is also highly advanced. speaks english, german and french in complete sentences though she chooses to speak english cos she likes it best. also knows her colors and shapes and numbers but does the same as lexi does for fun. calls red blue and waits for my reaction. or sees 3 cows but says there are 5 because 5 is her favourite number!
they really have a sense of humor!!!!!
Can you tell me more about your bilingual upbringing? I am totally struggling… I have trouble speaking Russian to her all the time and she has no exposure to it anywhere else. I loaded all Russian apps and bought interesting Russian books, but she is still not really speaking it unless she repeats after me. Even books, she puts the Russian ones aside and goes for English ones. I know it’s for lack of exposure to spoken Russian from me, but I am just curious what your family language situation is.
it’s complicated. i am born and raised german but have lived abroad for a lomg time. i think in english but speak almost exclusivly german to my daughter. i had to force myself to do it at first but now it has become 2nd nature and i accidently speak german to my friends kids too…. my husband is half german half french canadian. grew up with french and english but went to french schools. he is mostly anglophone though. dont ask how that happened. he speaks english to our daughter. he is fluent in german and has lived in germany. we speak a mix of german and english at home. his dad is ‘off the boat german’ so he speaks german to her. my MIL is french canadian and speaks only french to her. and to us.
my daughter goes to daycare 3 times a week. they are billingual french and english there. most of our other activities are very english with a bit of french in there. oh, we live in quebec.
i hope this explains it.
i am big on OPOL but otherwise we just throw the 3 languages at her and hope for the best. it’s normal for kids in our city to grow up with 2,3 or even 4 languages so i guess it works itself out. sofar so good. i hope i can still say this in a few years and we didn’t screw up our kid….
Ha! OMG!
And you cannot screw a kid up by speaking several languages at them, they catch on!
Ah, I wish English wasn’t so prevalent, it would be so much easier. I’ll keep trying, thanks for the answer!
you just have to commit to it. might be easier because my husband speaks german. i am surprised andrew has not learned russian. he could learn it with lexi!
He is not good with languages, or memorizing anything and he’s not awfully interested. We are so busy and always have been that Russian has been the last thing on his mind. I tried teaching him, we didn’t go far. I also tried learning French and Spanish with him, but it’s just not for him. Some people take to it easier.
I found 1-2.5 to all be wonderful. It’s between 2.5-3 years that the “terrible twos” come from- and most will agree that “threenagers” are the worst of all. We’ve just started seeing this kind of attitude from my usually very sweet daughter! She turns 3 in a month.
I’ve heard that exact thing before.
too bad about andrew and learning russian or languages in general.
must be a dissapointment you as you are so smart and educated! well at least you know where lexi’s high intelligence comes from and when she does the mensa test and passes you can take the credit!
No, Andrew is very smart, it is just his talents lay in different fields than mine. Both his sisters were borderline geniuses, so he definitely has it in his genes. I am not sure Lexi is Mensa material, she is very outgoing and interested which is where her knowledge comes from, but I’m not sure it’s as intense as Mensa.
Elena, my cousin mostly speaks Spanish to her kids (ages 6 and 4) and her husband speaks English to them. They 100% understand both languages but don’t really speak Spanish. It’s not that they can’t speak it bc they def can, they just don’t. Kinda sounds similar to Lexi (although they’re older).
I heard it’s common for children to refuse to speak the second language. In our case I think it’s a matter of me not speaking enough 🙁
Lexi is growing up so fast – she looks adorable in the pictures :). This dress with the cat is very cute – you are SO lucky that she seem to like dresses! I do hope you continue with the Russian, it would be such a shame to lose it. Just keep talking to her exclusively in Russian. My 2 yo understands everything, but replies in the mixture of English and Russian. Interestingly, when she talks to her father, she mixes English with Portuguese. They are all smart little cookies!
I have to speak up in defense of Andrew here: it can not possibly be disappointing that he has not learned Russian – it is a hard language to learn AND he has a full time job taking care of his family. Where would he find the time? Plus, language aptitude is not an indicator or intelligence, nor education. I have met a few Mensa members in grad school, and neither one of them spoke a second language…so there 🙂
sorry – I meant “…not an indicator OF intelligence, nor education….”
Well thank you! I fully agree. Plenty of smart people have trouble with language. It’s hard. And Russian is even harder (though we never got to the point of where it gets hard). Before we had Lexi I was always insisting we learn french and Spanish. We had enough time to do it. And for a while there I was getting through to him. I think it’s much easier to learn languages when you know one foreign language well.
As far as lexi, the problem is it’s ahead for me to speak Russian. I haven’t spoken it except for 15 mins a day for 11 years and there are many things that I have trouble translating into Russian.
But I keep trying. It’s the one thing I can’t justify giving up.
This post was amazing! I laughed out loud at some of Lexi’s quotes because they are just too cute! My daughter is 20 months and I am looking so forward to the upcoming months and even more so now after reading this!
Two questions: First, have you read much about toddler language pronunciation/development? My daughter can say “r”s well, “rice” “rose” “read” but cannot say “s”s at all “wimming” (swimming) “nake” (snake) . I thought I remember reading that the “s” is hard with the tongue control it takes, but I am just insterested to know more!!
Second, in what you mentioned above about raising Lexi bilingual we are having the same troubles. My husband speaks Hungarian and Russian but I do not, and I speak Italian but he does not…it is hard if you cant have regular conversations that the child can hear. Can Lexi underatand well in Russian? Do you think she may speak it more later when she figures out it can be a “secret code” at times? That is how my husband’s parents helped him to speak Hungarian in grade school, they told him they could use it as their own secret language. Lol.
Kay,
yes it’s absolutely normal. Lexi couldn’t pronounce S and F for a long time. She still has trouble with them if they are in a certain combination. But her R’s just appeared and she no longer says aRRRRRRRound, but uses a normal English R.
If you’re interested in reading more about language development, check out Beyond Baby Talk
As far as languages, Lexi understands Russian pretty well. Not as well as English, of course, but a person could tell her pretty much anything when it comes to every day life and she would respond but in English. I will continue trying to improve on my end and see how it goes.
i find it always helps when we go home or my parents come over. we always see a huge jump in german language developement with my daughter. i thought your mom and niece come visit for longer periods of time? they speak russian?
it is such a gift to raise your child bilingual, so i think you should really make more of an efford. especially cos it’s russian. she probably wont be able to take russian in highschool!
Yes they do, but that hasn’t made much difference. But that’s possible because she was really young back then. I think it would make a bigger difference now.
I thought your mom just left a couple of months ago. I must be mixing up the timelines.
We noticed it with my daughter before she was 1.5 yrs old. I am not exactly sure when my parents were here last year. It’s all a blur. Another good indicator was that my daughter started saying NEIN instead of NO after a trip to Germany. Total success. 🙂
The mispronunciations are the best! C uses F in place of SP. She sings the itsy bitsy Fider goes up the water fout. And my all-time favorite- her shoes are farkley. And sometimes she uses Y in place of some letter combinations. Coyor instead of color (although that’s the only time she does it in place of an L; she usually pronounces the L) and togeyer instead of together.
Ah yes! My favorite is how Lexi says FART-PART!
“You parted!” lol
As a mom of an almost 16 month old girl, I greatly appreciated this post! Helps me better prepare myself for the coming months 😉
I hope you don’t mind me asking…(and please don’t answer if you don’t want) but I was curious as to how many kids you’d like to have? I’m having such a hard time with this right now as I adore my daughter so so much and really would like 1 maybe 2 more but I can’t even wrap my head around how I’d manage my time. 😉 I was hoping maybe you’d have a book suggestion on child spacing. I’ve heard 3 years is typically a good time, but I’m always curious to get other Mom’s opinions.
Hi, Greta! Sorry for the delay in responding! We are undecided on whether we are going to have another kid. Right now it’s not feasible at all, so we are not thinking about it. If the situation changes, we’ll go over pros and cons. I do know of a book that was recommended to me by a reader that makes a case for only child. I haven’t read it yet, but passing it along in case it helps: One and Only.
I think a lot changes after a toddler turns three, so we’ll see.
Thank you for the book recommendation, I’ll definitely check it out! It’s funny because my husband was just saying yesterday that our daughters so good why should we mess something up that’s so great! Hehe we might be in the one child only boat too. 🙂
Thanks!!