I can’t believe I am now half way to having Alexis, and at the same time I cannot believe I have that much more to go! 4 months seems like so little but at the same time it’s too long to wait to meet our precious daughter.
I keep reading about women who lost their babies at 36 weeks or later and it just breaks my heart so much and scares me at the same time. How do you recover from that? From carrying the baby for 9 months, dreaming and waiting for it and then “bam!” in one second, it’s gone. All the possibilities and potential of a new life- just gone!
Really makes me want those 4 months to go by fast and have Alexis safe in my arms, where I can protect her. That’s on my mind 24/7. Literally.
I did a little collage of the body changes I went through since getting pregnant.
A few weeks are missing:
week 3 when I found out we were pregnant ( a week after conception), because no changes were apparent yet;
week 7 because that was the worst week of my morning sickness.
You can see the photo large if you click on it.
The first half of the pregnancy was hard, mostly due to nausea and tiredness and general food aversion. It’s difficult to eat perfectly for the health of your baby when even looking at food is the last thing you want to do. I am very proud I got through it with perfect nutrition. I can’t say it didn’t leave any scars, though. Those weeks of forcing certain nutritious foods down my throat, rather than chewing on bland and empty crackers, left me gagging at the thought of them. I am over it now, I think, but it took longer than normal, because of the “emotional trauma” of it all.
No regrets though – I’d do the exact same thing all over again. Only the best for my baby even if I have to “torture” myself.
But I think we underestimate how easy our life is because we are made so that we “like” food and how difficult it is to eat well when you don’t. I wonder if there’s a disorder where all food makes you queasy… A person with that disorder must have a miserable existence. It makes sense that nature and evolution made it so that we enjoyed eating, because otherwise…well it’s just sad and difficult.
Below is the front belly shot. I stopped taking them after the ninth week for some reason. Probably because there wasn’t much change from the front. Now that my belly is really growing though, I’ll resume the front belly shot.
One thing I can say though: “Whew! I’m glad I’m in the 2nd trimster!”
It’s glorious! Well, as glorious as pregnancy can be…. with fatigue and weird hunger spells and aches and pains, but still glorious compared to the horribleness that the first trimester represents. Certain days I almost feel normal, I go about doing “normal” things, only to be reminded an hour later that there’s a baby inside that requires “mommy” to take it easy. And I do. Because I have the most caring and understanding and involved husband in the world who will do all these things for me ( well, almost all and with a lot of nagging) that I am unable to do, so that I wouldn’t “strain” myself too much.
I’m still wondering when the uncomfortable part of the second half starts… Do I have a month or so of feeling good? Is it supposed to start now? Luckily, I have no ligament pains, no back pains (unless I overdo it), sleep is somewhat comfortable.
I am happy I’ve been able to take conceptual photos throughout the pregnancy. I want to do a pregnancy book. Not your typical book with belly shots, but a true depiction of our journey through pregnancy via conceptual images – things we did, events that happened, places we went to, along with a message to our little one, who’ll hopefully be able to read it on day.
These are some of the shots I have for now.
1,2. The day we found out Alexis was there
3. The day we got proof she was real
5. The 3 months I spent miserably nauseous
6. The day we heard her heartbeat on our home doppler
7. The day I hoped she was a girl
8. The months we spent walking every morning
9. The time you could finally see my belly
10. The day I started planning the nursery
11,12,13,14. The day we found out she was healthy and a “SHE”
15,16. The time our first baby gifts started arriving.
It seems like forever ago that we tested “for fun” and saw that faint line on the pregnancy test mere 6 days after conception.
We couldn’t be happier though! She’s what we planned, she’s all we wanted!