Based on all the pretty stuff I’ve been posting here, some of you may mistakenly assume this is a photography blog. Fooled ya! I might have been distracting all of you with yummy recipes, and pretty Christmas pictures, but in the meantime more important things were going on, like planning a baby.
I think my last pre-conception post ended with me getting all my vaccines and tests done and over with it, but what I intentionally forgot to mention is that we were going through a much more important test that I honestly was freaking out about –
SEMEN ANALYSIS 🙂
What’s there to freak out about?- you’ll ask.
Well, we were going under the assumption that both of us are perfectly fertile ( doesn’t everyone?), so after the initial pre-conception check ups, the plan was to start trying and if there’s a problem after 6 months, we’d deal with it then. Being the planner that I am, I wasn’t exactly at peace with that idea. For one, what’s the point of planning this whole thing out and then leave out what matters: whether we can make babies?
Nothing told me that I’d have any problems: I’m 26, I’m healthy as a gazelle ( didn’t want to use an ox reference), been on birth control for 8 years non-stop and the first month I went off of it in November( aside from me freaking out from my PMS symptoms), my period came on schedule, so did the next, as well as all my ovulations. My husband, on the other hand, had some “concerns”. Nothing major, but coupled with his age (41y.o.), it sort of made me curious. However, we decided that we’ll wait until we’re ready to start TTCing and see.
The next morning, we took off to the hospital to do the analysis. We were informed that he had to BRING the sample within 30 minutes of “producing” it. The hospital is 40 minutes away from our house. Ummmm…do see a problem here? Well, we’re both very progressive and sexually open people ( me more than him- Russian upbringing), so we don’t blink an eye and go back to the car. I won’t elaborate on the details, but a few minutes later we were walking back proudly holding the see-through sample bottle full of “the good stuff”.
“The good stuff” got promptly handed over to the technician ( man, what a job!) and we went home skipping (with the satisfaction of a good deed done).
The results were expected that afternoon and as we have worked ourselves up quite a bit on this matter, we were waiting with anticipation. When the fax/call didn’t come in by 4pm, we called the doctor. Results weren’t in, they were going to call the lab. No call back that day. Oh-oh. Next morning. Calling straight to the lab. Lab can’t find him in the system.
O.M.G. They. lost. his. sperm.
Finally a few phone transfers later, the sperm is found, the results are ready. Calling the doctor’s office – voicemail. Get a callback at 4 pm: Yes, results are in, No we can’t give them to you.
Apparently nurses aren’t allowed to open the results until the doctor does.
Sounds like bullshit.
Even more concerned now, because my “paranoid the-world-is-out-to-get-ya” husband thinks she saw the results and won’t give them to us, because they’re bad and she needs the doctor to handle/explain it. We’re promised the results first thing in the morning. Day 3(today): I wake up from a nightmare where we found out that Hubby can’t have kids. Feeling really bad all day. This time I call the office. Three times. Leave three messages: 2 on nurses voicemail, 1 with the receptionist. 1:50pm: WE GET A FAX!
We open it aaaaaand…
Ok, before i go into the results, one thing you should know ( unless you do already) is what’s considered average/normal as far as sperm count goes is 20 million per ml with the total amount being at least 40 million. That’s what it takes to conceive a child naturally ( of course men can conceive even with a lower sperm count, but usually it’s a loooot harder).
So we open the fax ( e-fax) on my iPhone and the number is…drum roll
With the total being 280 million sperm! Holy mother of testicles! My HUSBAND has 280 million sperm. EACH TIME.
All the other numbers, like morphology and motility ( forward movement) look good too.
We were sooo relieved. Not only is my husband fertile, but he’s one hunk of a man from the sperm production standpoint. His semen is a bit acidic, but that favors girls, so I don’t mind 🙂
So the moral of the story , because there’s always gotta be one ( there’s actually two) is this:
1. If you have any reason to doubt your or his fertility ( testosterone, varicocele, endometriosis, fibrosis, irregular period) and are planning on starting a family, go get checked out right away. It’s just a few tests, but the peace of mind is priceless. And if there is something wrong, you won’t waste precious months trying, but rather get started on the treatment.
2. Don’t be so quick to diagnose yourself even if the symptoms are a perfect match, do the tests and relaaaax.
Please don’t forget to VOTE daily!