Happy 3 Months Birthday!


I am so excited to know that my baby girl is now officially out of her fourth trimester. She is no longer a newborn, she’s a baby! A cute, smart, adorable, inquisitive, serious, challenging baby. There has been so many changes that I honestly haven’t been able to keep track. All I’ve been doing is enjoying our time with her and holding on as tight as I can on this rollercoaster ride called LEXI.

TODAY is also the day that Alexis is really 1 YEAR OLD. She’s been out in the world for 3 months, but alive for 1 year. Last year on May 5th, she was conceived. {I am not a Pro-Lifer. I am Pro-Choice. But for us, Alexis was our baby the second those two cells joined}

These are the new things she’s been doing since the last time I updated here at 2 months, but most of them happened at around 2-2.5 months mark. There has been little change from 2.5-3 months. So here we go.

Belly Laugh

Our baby now belly laughs. They aren’t long or frequent, but the first time I heard it on April 23rd, I couldn’t believe it. She laughs in response to games and infant massage (someone is obviously ticklish). The first time she laughed, she sort of surprised herself, because she proceeded to make herself cough and squeel to repeat the sound she just made. I cannot wait till these laughs are more frequent. But for now she laughs about once every couple of days.

Cough

Speaking of coughing, she does that on purpose. She likes how it sounds or feels, so she’ll stick her tongue out and cough and smile.

Talking

Remember that video of her cooing at 3 weeks? Well, the second she hit her 2 months mark, it exploded. She would coo and agoo non stop to any stimuli. We’d have full blown conversations with her. It sort of subcided by the end of this month, which I read is common when they are focused on mastering other skills.

She now yawns like an adult by making a “yawn” sound. She usually agoos while yawning which is sooooo precious. “Aaaaaaggggoooooouuuuu!”

Rolling over

If we’re basing her future performance on current achievements, this girl will be a social linguist or an artist, but not a sporty one. She’s been way ahead on social and visual development, but her motor skills have stayed behind ( behind her other skills, not behind the norm). She’s not a fan of rolling over or even attempting to roll over. She did it twice on her own and have really kind of given up on the whole thing.

Head Control

The same can’t be said about head control and her incredible need to be sitting up at all times. I honestly believe it’s only that good due to the fact that she is UNBELIEVABLY curious about her surroundings (and has been since day 1). She HAS to see things, which brings me to….

Over-stimulation

We’ve been having a bit of a problem with over-stimulation lately. She won’t stop looking around (her head whips side to side like she’s watching a tennis match) with a super serious expression. She gets very excited looking at toys and sky and trees and books and humans. She starts getting tired every 50-60 minutes, but will refuse to go to sleep. So there’s a lot of crying every time she has to go down for a nap, which is hourly. A lot of frustration for mommy and daddy. Putting her to sleep earlier doesn’t help, so I just try to do my best not to let her get too excited about all the sights she is seeing and put her to sleep at first signs of tiredness.

Books

She loves reading books. We’ve been reading mostly Dr Suess and a few russian books and you should see her face and the legs kicking. It’s so cute! She stares intently at every illustration until the book is over and then follows it with her gaze as it gets put away as if saying “Is that all?”

Nursing

Breastfeeding has been absolutely wonderful. This is what they refer to as the “reward period” and it’s a very fitting name. It has become a breeze to feed her any time anywhere. The most heartwarming moments occur during breastfeeding when she stops nursing to smile the widest grin at me and then playfully chomp back at the boob. Or when she grins and sticks her tongue out while panting and looking at me with a face full of adoration. For a while there, she’d coo with a nipple in her mouth. That’s actually how she squealed for the first time- while nursing!

Sleep

Her sleep patterns have not changed. She still wakes up 2-4 times a night to eat and naps poorly here and there with an occasional 2 or three hour nap once a week. Sometimes when she sleeps for too long without a feeding, she wakes up outright crying, which breaks my heart into a million pieces. Otherwise, naps are hard. The second you put her down, her eyes pop open. Sometimes she’ll sleep for 5-10 minutes. On good days, she will have 30-40 minute naps, but she ALWAYS wakes up as soon as she cycles back into her REM sleep.

Grabbing

She is yet to be interested enough in toys to reach for them, but daily household items? Fascinating! She will grab anything that touches her hands, be it my necklace (forget about those now), my hair or the railing of the changing table that she attaches herself to with a death grip and pushes whoever changes her with her foot. Funny girl!
Sophie is her best friend, as well as the Lifefactory’s silicone teether ring that she just can’t get enough off. She has learned to grab onto it with two hands and shove it in her mouth, and then gum, gum, gum. If she misses her mouth and instead shoves a fist into it, you can hear her discontentment in an array of angry aghoos and screams she produces. Any time anything touches her hand, she grabs it or lightly touches it with her fingers. It’s so sweet when she runs her fingers along whatever part of our body she comes in contact with, pinches it, strokes- so sweet.


Bath Time

If you read the bath post, she is a major soccer star with her baby wash bottle. She has so much fun taking a bath now. Just today, she was laughing her little butt off at a dancing wash cloth courtesy of me. I’d shake a wet wash cloth over her naked belly and she would just smile and laugh non-stop. I’ll try videotaping it next time, if she still has the same reaction to it.

Hair

I think her hair is slowly falling out and blonde hair is growing in. I’m not sure of it, but that’s what it looks like. If it does fall out, I know I will miss her dark hair. She was born with it and it is very dear to me.

Teething/Drooling

Her hand sucking and drooling is out of control. It’s gotta be her favorite thing – suck on her fingers. She hasn’t shown any preference to her thumb, she just puts her whole hand in her mouth and sometimes both.

Outings

It’s still really rough. Every time we go somewhere, she cries. Since she doesn’t sleep for long, she tires out quickly and she can’t fall asleep on her own (she’s not of those babies that just drifts off ), especially outside of home. So there’s usually a lot of crying when we go out and it’s time to sleep (it’s every hour, so I can’t even time outings around her nap time). I am hoping it’s a phase and as soon as her daytime naps even out, she’ll be a happier camper 🙂 {I will write a separate post about this whole issue}

Reflux

I am so happy to say that it almost subsided. She still has some spitting up and milk coming back up occasionally and but it doesn’t seem to bother her at all. She doesn’t wake up much from it anymore either. YAY!

;

So this is as much as I can remember. I gotta say that even with the fact that Alexis is a challenging baby, we are having a great time. As cliche as it sounds, we both can’t imagine our life without her and feel that life didn’t exist until Alexis came along.


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71 Comments

  • Reply
    Amanda
    May 5, 2012 at 10:28 AM

    Hi! I’ve been following your blog for a year now and have never commented before, but my baby, Jaxen, was born just after Lexi on Feb. 4 and it’s so fun to read your monthly updates to see how close they are in development. I noticed a bunch of similiarities and just had to point them out. It’s so nice not to feel alone in the world of parenting, which often happens to me. I’ll get frustrated with my baby and feel like he’s the only baby in the world acting like, well, a baby. He doesn’t drift off to sleep on his own either and I always have to rock him for his naps. He has about the same amount of awake time as Lexi before he gets too tired and I have to try to get him swaddled and rocked before I miss that window and he throws a fit. Once he’s in a deep enough sleep I try putting him down. He doesn’t always stay sleeping, but it’s gotten much better. The same thing with his nighttime sleeps. He tends to do a good 6 hour stretch before rustling all around and I have to go pop his soother back in. Then from there it can sometimes happen every 1-2 hours before he finally gets up. It’s frustrating, but I know it’s such a common issue with babies. I would love it if he could fall back to sleep on his own, but can’t expect it either as much as I would like. Hopefully this is something that they can outgrow. We just have to remember that it won’t be like this for long :). Crying it out is definitely not an option either. What do you plan to do for sleep training if you’re going to try it? When will you start?
    As for going out and about, same thing, it’s a little tough. He dislikes his carseat VERY much and I’m lucky if I can make it to my destination without a screaming fit. Then I have to pick him up and soothe him but there’s no way he’s going back in until we leave, which results in another fit and a schedule interruption. I often get jealous of other moms happily pushing their sleeping babies in their strollers through the mall. It’s SO hard not to compare him to other babies, but everything is just a phase. I think when they have better nap schedules and fewer, longer naps that going out will be easier.
    Jaxen isn’t rolling over yet either, and hasn’t even attempted to. He’s just starting to reach out for things but doesn’t hold on to toys quite yet. Like Lexi, he’s a drooling maching and loves to chew on his fist.
    How much does Lexi weigh? What about length? I love knowing those stats :).
    Anyhow, sorry for the massively long novel comment, but I just had to point out the similarities. If anyone has suggestions re sleeping soundly at night and helping with the early morning wakings as well as the dislike to the carseat, I would love to hear suggestions!
    Thanks!
    Amanda

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      May 5, 2012 at 12:13 PM

      Amanda, thanks for your comment. You’re right sometimes it does feel like I’m the only one with a baby that has trouble sleeping, won’t just drift off, can’t be taken anywhere. It’s particularly nice to hear that J needs to be put down every hour like A. I was worried about that.
      So jealous of your 6 hour stretch though. Alexis sleeps 3/4,2 and 2 and up for the day.
      As far as sleep training, there will be no CIO. Besides being against it I just simply can’t hear her cry, without her being in my arms.
      I’m a big believer in following your baby’s cues so I think when she’s ready to sleep on her own, she will. Until then I’m happy to cosleep.
      Lexi is starting to attempt rolling from her back to tummy and has done tummy to back twice but that’s all.
      I don’t know her current weight but at her last check up almost a month ago she was 15 lbs, height 24 (I think), head 16.
      We have another appt on the 10th.

      • Reply
        Amanda
        May 7, 2012 at 8:16 AM

        Elena, thanks so much for replying so quick! That’s something I super appreciate about you..you always comment back. Most blogs I’ve commented on and have asked questions never replied. Thank you!
        I’ve read some more comments and totally agree with you on the whole “taking your baby out” issue. Like I mentioned, Jaxen HATES his carseat and it’s frustrating to take him out anywhere due to his screaming fits. I CAN’T wait till the day where he grows out of this so I can take him out more often. I try a few times a week and it’s always hit and miss. *Sigh*…just have to remember that with babies, everything is a phase (I hope!).
        Again, thanks for replying!

  • Reply
    Rachel
    May 5, 2012 at 11:26 AM

    Hi Elena, I am wondering if you will be speaking to Lexi in Russian or English mainly? I am also not from here originally and am planning to teach my daughter our language, just wondering what approach to take with that. Thanks~

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      May 5, 2012 at 12:16 PM

      The plan was to do exclusively Russian. But it’s turning out a lot harder than I thought since my primary language is English. I am trying my hardest to keep myself from instinctively speaking English to her.

  • Reply
    Elena C.
    May 5, 2012 at 11:42 AM

    It’s so amazing to see her grow, get some new skills.
    Isn’t it cool to see all the common things from her point of view?
    Everything is so new, fun and exciting and interesting 🙂

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      May 5, 2012 at 12:18 PM

      Yeah it’s amazing and we haven’t even scratched the surface. When she can walk and talk- oh boy is it gonna be fun!

  • Reply
    Nurul
    May 5, 2012 at 11:45 AM

    Hi its me nurul from malaysia, i hv a baby same age with alexis, her name is sara. She is adorable baby girl who is fully breastfeed, i am a medical doctor but,i hv a question maybe u cn teach me if the condotion is same, she is refuse one hundred percent of bottle feeding n she hate it, even i use the pump n put on the bottle,she refuse,all she wAnt is my boobs. Maybe u hv suggestion on that? My husbnd commented n said alexis is so much chubby compare to sara. She is now 6 kg

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      May 5, 2012 at 12:34 PM

      Hi Nurul!

      That’s pretty common. You’re supposed to introduce the bottle around 6 weeks, because some babies refuse it after. That being said, why we did give her a bottle or two of pumped milk, I have tried doing it for a month or two. So far we are fine just breast feeding. Id say if you’re set on giving her a bottle, keep trying to Feed her once a day with a bottle. I’m sure you can find good advice on kellymom.com

  • Reply
    Stephanie Heather
    May 5, 2012 at 1:39 PM

    Happy three months! The yawning thing is cute 🙂 My son used to go “phew” after he sneezed, but much to my dismay he stopped! I ever got a real one on video and until I read your post I had nearly forgotten he used to do that. He’s 13 mo – how quickly we can forget! I’d written it down in a journal I keep so wouldn’t have forgotten forever, but you know what I mean.

  • Reply
    Verna
    May 5, 2012 at 2:12 PM

    She’s getting so big!! I love her dark brown hair but she’ll be just as beautiful with blonde. She’ll look more like her mama then too. I used to get sad because Garrett’s hair has always been so light. He didn’t look like he belonged to me. ; ) Babies are so different and figuring out their sleep patterns can be challenging. Garrett needed to go right to bed as soon as he started getting tired or else it would be too late. Avery needs to be really tired or else she won’t go to sleep. Ha! And she just started sleeping better at night! She’s in her own room now and that’s helped her and us sleep better. It’ll get easier.

  • Reply
    Verna
    May 5, 2012 at 2:16 PM

    One thing that helped Garrett learn to put himself to sleep was, I would lay down with him in our bed and soothe him to sleep that way. Just a suggestion.

  • Reply
    Rebecca
    May 5, 2012 at 2:52 PM

    Where’s the blonde hair you mention? It just looks dark to me. Most babies’ hair falls out by 2-3 months if a new color is going to come in. I bet she is going to stay with dark brown hair, not switch to blonde. She looks EXACTLY like your husband – a dead ringer – and he has dark hair. Her eyes are so beautiful. Babies grow up too fast, don’t they?

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      May 5, 2012 at 4:01 PM

      Hahaha. It’s not something you’d see on pictures. They are little fine white hairs. If she does end up blonde, she will spend some time being bald.
      And my husband was straw blonde all throughout his childhood. So she is more likely to be blonde. Though brunette isn’t out of question, his sisters are both brunette.

      • Reply
        Megan
        May 5, 2012 at 6:33 PM

        Happy three months, little girl!
        Adorable! 🙂

        • Reply
          Kaaren
          May 5, 2012 at 7:38 PM

          Loved this post! Lexi is beautiful and getting so big already! Time flies! I’m a recent follower and had to comment now because I can’t get over how similar Lexi sounds to my daughter, Clare.

          Clare is now 19 mos old, but she was exactly the same in terms of nursing, sleep, over-stimulation, you name it. She woke to nurse every 2 hours all throughout the night, and we co-slept, so it just worked and was just what she needed. She did the half hour (at most!!) naps too, and would never just drift off on the go. Outings were exactly as you describe. It does get easier, but with a lot of time. Clare still woke at the 30-min mark past a year old for naps, and also initially when going to sleep at night. I’d put her to sleep (usually nursing her to sleep) and then re-do bed/nap time 30 mins later. Oyyy! I read up on it a ton, and tried all the tricks, but she just never got over that transition into the next stage of sleep. Travel does get easier though as they lengthen their awake time and nap less frequently. I loved when she started napping only once a day at about a year old. She naps now for about 1-2 hours everyday, around noon. So much easier! Funny b/c I was completely opposed to CIO, and always responded to every coo and cry at nap time and throughout the night, thinking she would naturally lengthen her sleep. She never did, and actually started waking even more frequently at night around a year old (every hour), and would only nurse back to sleep (wouldn’t let me comfort her in any other way or let my hubby try to rock her, etc.). She was wetting through overnight dipes, etc…didn’t need the BM but was just nursing for comfort and didn’t know how to self soothe. Out of complete desperation, I put her in her crib (a first!) one night, at 13 mos old, and lo and behold, she cried on and off (don’t think I could have done it otherwise!!) for only 30 mins and then slept through the night for the first time ever!!! I’m not kidding, she’s done it every single nap since then, for the last 6 months, and happily says “na nights!” when I put her in her crib. Not sure if I would even call it CIO, since she just fussed and so little, but she was just ready! Naps took longer, but she did lengthen them on her own and finally got past that 30 min nap around 15 mos old. Took some time, but my non-sleeper is now a GREAT sleeper, sleeping 12 hours at night, 2 hour naps, and all on her own without a peep!

          Hang in there, Momma! Sounds like Lexi is a very lucky baby! Oh, and I think everything our girls are is a sign of brilliance! 😉

  • Reply
    Leah
    May 5, 2012 at 10:30 PM

    You know, a baby is always alive the second those two cells meet, even if he or she wasn’t planned like yours. Just saying, he or she isn’t ONLY alive if he or she was wanted.

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      May 6, 2012 at 6:25 AM

      I didn’t say it wasn’t. It’s just some people think a baby is a baby at conception, others at viability. For us Alexis was OUR baby the second we conceived. For some other people they feel a baby isn’t a human at that point.

      • Reply
        Leah
        May 6, 2012 at 9:02 AM

        I guess I see what you mean (some people still have abortions after viability, however). Were you putting that so as to not offend blog readers? I have seen some extremely nasty and catty comments on here for no reason, and I have noticed that you have had to preface things with statements like “this is my opinion, not yours.”

        • Reply
          Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
          May 6, 2012 at 9:23 AM

          Not really this time. I have put “reminders” for some weird people who forget that their experience isn’t the only one and that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. In this case, I just wanted to establish that I AM pro choice but with Lexi, because we planned her, for us she existed at conception. Before her I felt a little bit differently about the whole issue. I still believe no one has the right to dictate what a woman does with her body, no religion, no government , until the baby can survive on the outside, hence becomes a viable human life.

          • Leah
            May 6, 2012 at 3:41 PM

            Thank you for clarifying; I think we will have to agree to disagree however! By the way, Lexie is growing into an adorable, healthy, perfect baby. You are doing a great job!

          • Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
            May 6, 2012 at 4:28 PM

            See this is exactly what I love about smart people: they know how to disagree 🙂 there are so many opinions and they change so fast that I don’t get why someone would get their panties in a bunch over a bloggers point of view :)))

          • Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
            May 6, 2012 at 4:31 PM

            Oh and I wanted to clarify that after having Lexi and seeing how precious she is, ANY baby of ours, planned or unplanned, is our baby the second she/he is conceived. I didn’t feel that way before Alexis.
            I just don’t think I can tell another person how to feel/think and what to do.

          • Camille
            May 6, 2012 at 3:48 PM

            Personally, I think its great that you aren’t afraid to make it clear you support a woman’s right to choose.

          • Leah
            May 6, 2012 at 8:46 PM

            Yes, babies sure change everything! And thank you for your polite comments back (I fear my first sounded a little rude, but it is how I feel). Anyway, Camille, I have no problem whatsoever with Elena sharing her opinion. It is her blog, after all.

  • Reply
    Growing Up With Bea
    May 6, 2012 at 4:19 AM

    It’s great news that your baby is getting over her reflux. My baby had reflux too until she was almost 3 years old… she developed food aversion and feeding became a terrible problem for us. Thankfully she is getting over it also…

    Happy third month to your little princess! =)

  • Reply
    SarahB
    May 6, 2012 at 2:27 PM

    Congrats on hitting the 3 month old mark! It’s amazing how quickly they grow — you’ll continue to be amazed over the next few years as she grows and develops (and then you’ll realize what you thought was “big” or “advanced” at 2 or 3 months is nothing compared to when you hit 6, 9, 12 months (and on and on!). It’s such a rewarding and challenging ride.

    I read your blog regularly and have to tell you though….Alexis doesn’t sound challenging to me based on all your posts. She truly sounds like a baby! I have 4 kids — 2 singletons and twins — so I’ve got to say that nothing you’ve posted about her sounds challenging from what I’ve read. Believe me — that’s a good thing. Appreciate having a baby that isn’t a challenge (I’m sure you do but since you mention that she’s challenging a bit, I keep waiting to hear what it is beyond sort of typical being a baby stuff). Again, I’ve obviously been around the block a few times so maybe I’m less fazed when it comes to babies but she’s a normal baby girl — in charge of her parents, adjusting to life and getting overstimulated, more active, etc by the day. Congrats and continue enjoying her!

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      May 6, 2012 at 4:25 PM

      Oh I don’t think she’s VERY challenging. To be honest it’s exactly what I expected work wise. I’m just referring to sleep habits, demands(constant attention), eating habits compared to most babies that I read about and meet. I mostly see and read about babies same age who sleep at least a 5-6 hour stretch (hers is 3 hour stretch), fall asleep on their own when swaddled or with some rocking (rather than screams in our case), easy to take out (they will just sleep through everything), don’t eat every 30 minutes and wake up once an hour for the first 2 months of life, take 2 hour naps (though this seems to be less prevalent), can be put into a swing or chair and are happy to look at toys (not that i would do that much anyways). I could go on. So I’m not saying it’s challenging to care for her, more like she seems to be more intense than some babies. No question there are babies that are harder to deal with, Moms that work way harder (twins, colic, GERD,etc). But in her case nothing she does is because of some issue that’s going on, it is just her personality.

      I am just comparing her needs to most other babies’ needs, which I shouldn’t even do. I am actually totally fine with everything she does, the only thing I wish is that she was easier to take out and be out with, but I’ll just wait until she doesn’t need to nap every hour or starts falling asleep when we are out without a major meltdown.

      • Reply
        Gina
        May 6, 2012 at 6:29 PM

        You must meet/know very lucky people. Alexis sounds very much in the norm to me. Most people I know including myself (I have twins and a singleton) didn’t have kids who napped on a schedule or slept long spans at night until at least 6 months. The good news is, once it happens you forget how tiring it was quickly.
        Loving her chunky’s btw. So cute! You must be making some serious creamer for that girl!

        • Reply
          Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
          May 6, 2012 at 6:38 PM

          Either that or they are lying. Also Every blog I read has same age babies that are waaaay easier. I can’t believe they are embellishing too. Why would they?
          Either way I am glad to hear that there are babies out there that do the exact same things.

          • Jessica
            May 6, 2012 at 10:23 PM

            Yeah, I have to say that Alexis sounds like a very typical, normal baby! I’ve lucked out to have a VERY calm, happy, “easy” baby, but at five month she’s is still up 2-5 times a night to eat (which is fun when you have to work a normal 8-5 job!), up until she was 3 months old she was still eating every two hours during the day (and of course the correct way to measure feedings is start-to-start, and since she’s a slow eater I only had an hour and 15 minutes out of every two when I wasn’t nursing), and up until the last month or two she would only nap well laying on a parent or grandparent, and would only take short naps. And I consider all this WAY easy, and easier than most babies! My friend’s son screams for over two hours every night to get to sleep, and he only has a mild case of colic. You are pretty lucky to have such a normal (and of course adorable) baby! 🙂
            As for getting out with a baby, I’m of the opinion to just go for it! We’ve been taking our daughter out to restaurants, parties, outdoor festivals, etc. since she was 5 weeks old. Since she’s been out and about since the beginning, she’s used to it and is fine being carried around everywhere. But we could just be lucky, who knows! 🙂
            “Also Every blog I read has same age babies that are waaaay easier.” I imagine that most people want to put a positive spin on what they post on the Internet; I don’t know if I’d trust blogs to give a completely accurate picture of parenthood. 🙂

          • Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
            May 7, 2012 at 3:45 AM

            Yeah I wish it was as easy as “take her out more often and she’ll get used to it”. Because of her having to eat every 30-60 min in the beginning, we would take her with us every time I had a doctors appointment or wanted to go food shopping which was often. She would scream any time shed need to sleep and couldn’t be consoled. Eventually we got a clue a d stopped taking her out unless we had to. But it was really horrible every time. If she was able to be put to bed anywhere I don’t think outings would be so bad. But she never has been. Even at home she cries every time it’s nap time and it’s nap time every hour currently. 🙁 so yeah you lucked out.

          • Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
            May 7, 2012 at 3:53 AM

            Oh and I don’t think blogs are only putting the good stuff. I see pictures of them being completely on the go, babies in cars seats at restaurants, hanging with friends. Omg that just can’t happen with Lexi. We went over to a friend’s house for the first time and I spend the whole time in a different room trying to calm her down and keep her calm. *sigh* (she freaked out because one of them tried to hold her lol)

          • Jessica
            May 7, 2012 at 3:48 PM

            Oh, that stinks. 🙁 That must be so rough for you! I’ve got two good friends with babies that have very similar dispositions to Alexis, based on what you’ve written in your blog. One actually likes going out with her baby to loud, busy restaurants because the noise there acts as white noise and will put her baby to sleep (and when it doesn’t, a crying baby is not as noticeable in a loud restaurant, ha ha! :)). I’ve been going out for walks once a week with my other friend, and that luckily for her and her poor colicky little guy is that he cries less and less while we’re out, and it’s been slowly decreasing over the past several months – I think that for some babies, it’s just something they’ve got to outgrow! She also had luck with the Ergo facing out – he hated all other carries, and hated facing in, so that was part of it. Have you read “Your Child’s Growing Mind: Brain Development and Learning From Birth to Adolescence”? They have lots of interesting information about the biology behind “challenging” babies, it’s very interesting!
            Alexis is just so sweet – I love her chubby legs and her sweet blue eyes! I always look forward to your updates. 🙂

      • Reply
        Jessica
        May 6, 2012 at 10:27 PM

        Oh I also wanted to mention: “can be put into a swing or chair and are happy to look at toys”, the baby books I’ve read said that this doesn’t usually start until 3-4 months, so she’ll probably be happy on her own for longer stretches soon! My little girl always wanted to be held until 3 and 1/2 months, and now she’ll be happy and content playing on her activity mat for up to twenty minutes at a time, and will even sometimes get annoyed if we try to pick her up if she’s playing! It gets easier at four months, don’t worry! 🙂

      • Reply
        SarahB
        May 7, 2012 at 3:02 PM

        Yes, it’s funny. I always considered my four kids easy babies (both the singletons AND the twins) but reading your blog, they sound just like Alexis. So, it’s funny how it can just depend on perspective and expectations in terms of what one considers challenging and someone else doesn’t! Also, being a first-time mom, you’re dealing with a lot of new stuff so it’s totally normal that you might find typical baby behavior to be a challenge. It’s such a change! When I compared my kids to other babies’ needs, I always think of challenging as the babies that are completely inconsolable (always…) or have serious health or feeding issues; that’s what I’ve always seen or read on other blogs that seemed like a challenging babies’ needs. It just goes to show how different everyone’s perspective is!

        Everything I’ve seen (from my limited experience (with a sample of 4) as well as my friends’ kids) and read (on blogs, in parenting and sleep books) has said babies’ daytime/nap sleep normalizes later than nighttime sleep and closer to the 4-6 month timeframe. Babies are still so young now with limited capacity and, as you’ve seen with Alexis, they get overstimulated so quickly and try to take so much in given their development that naps the first 3-4 months are a complete crapshoot (unfortunately!). Good luck!

        • Reply
          Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
          May 7, 2012 at 6:02 PM

          I think I commented (it might have been to someone else) that it’s NOT challenging for me in terms of taking care of her. It’s about what I expected. I am only going by her habits vs other 3 months old habits. Colic and reflux are temporary medical problems and do not make a baby challenging when it comes to their temperament. And I think that’s where we are mixing signals. I think challenging in terms of baby’s temperament (demanding, knows what it wants, eats a lot, sleeps little), you think challenging in terms of the amount of work that needs to be put into their care. Her having reflux says nothing about her personality, but for example refusing carriers or strollers after 10 minutes and only wanting to be carried in arms does.

          Naps are the least of her problems. We have actually sort of gotten a handle on naps. I’m basing it more on eating habits, night sleeping habits, not liking carriers or strollers, parents arms only, basically things she will accept or not in her care, etc

      • Reply
        claire
        May 7, 2012 at 10:07 PM

        my almost 3 month old sounds like the other babies you’re talking about. He falls asleep on his own with a sleep sack and a binkie, sleeps 10 hours at night, 2 one hour naps, 1 2 hour nap during the day. I can take him out and know that he’ll be happy in the Ergo. He plays on his playmat by himself and talks to his little stuffed friends. He’s just a happy and content baby. He smiles all the time and really just screams when he has a dirty diaper. it’s actually amazing to me how babies can be so different when they are still so young.

  • Reply
    Abbey R
    May 6, 2012 at 3:39 PM

    I’m sorry to hear about your sleeping issues that you are having. Bot my girls (who are 11 1/2 months apart) were not good sleepers. But with some training and couch (and my learning) we got them sleeping. My oldest is a toddler (19 months) and takes a 3 hour nap during the after noon and sleeping 12-13 hours a night. My youngest (8 months tomorrow) takes 2 2 hour naps and a cat nap early evening and sleeps 12 hours a night. Hang in there and really work with her and you can teach her to be a good sleeper!!

    • Reply
      Amanda
      May 7, 2012 at 8:12 AM

      What did you do to sleep train? I’m always curious to hear ideas :), especially how to get them to fall asleep on their own.

  • Reply
    Camille
    May 6, 2012 at 3:45 PM

    She is adorable! Happy 3 months!! I also feel like the conceive date is a sort of birthday, our daughter was conceived on our first anniversary of being together. 🙂

  • Reply
    Jess
    May 6, 2012 at 6:43 PM

    Oh my goodness, what an adorable little chunk she is! Even my husband stopped to comment on how cute she is (he was walking by just as I pulled up your blog, the first picture caught his attention), and he’s not really one to comment too much on babies. She is too precious 🙂

  • Reply
    Rachel
    May 6, 2012 at 8:15 PM

    If you think breast feeding is rewarding now, just wait till about 9-11 months or so. Lexi will get to a point when she is on the go & really doesn’t want to sit with you or slow down. Breast feeding becomes even more special because they will actually sit still & it’s all about mommy for a few minutes. Just you wait. 🙂

    • Reply
      Lara
      May 7, 2012 at 5:15 PM

      So true!!!! I love the snuggles I get now during her rare moments of downtime to nurse.

  • Reply
    Leeka B.
    May 7, 2012 at 9:11 AM

    She is getting so big!!!! Love her and can’t wait to meet in person!

  • Reply
    MaryL
    May 7, 2012 at 11:06 AM

    What a beautiful, healthy and happy baby Alexis is! I love seeing her little healthy dimples on her arms and legs…you’re doing a great job feeding that baby, Mama! 🙂

    I also wanted to comment on outings being difficult. They were extremely difficult for us too, when my son was around Alexis’s age. My son was never a good napper, and would become quite overstimulated when we took him outside his comfort zone. It was a long time before we were comfortable for any length of time out, whether a dinner, park outing, etc. I don’t really have any advice, but just wanted to provide a bit of encouragement and say I’ll look forward to future posts about your outings together. I truly hope they get better…I know how hard it is when you’re dying to get out of the house, but don’t want to risk a total meltdown.

    At any rate, congrats on a beautiful, healthy, happy baby! 🙂

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      May 7, 2012 at 11:50 AM

      That’s exactly what’s happening here too. So how long was it until he could handle outings? And how is he now?

      • Reply
        MaryL
        May 8, 2012 at 9:28 AM

        He’s great now…he’s 8. Ha! It was probably about 8-9 months for us before we could comfortably go out for dinner. I was so dedicated to continuing “our life” and not staying home all the time that I persisted with short outings where I could address his needs, or isolate him if he became overstimulated. (KInd-of like your Easter (?) post where you had to take a break.) I eventually worked us into a routine and it allowed me to slow down, change my attitude a little about the whole thing and really enjoy his infancy. I used to get really stressed out, but turns out that our little alone times during outings were priceless. I would hold him close, or nurse, he would calm down, and we’d continue our day. You’re doing a great job…keep following Alexis’s cues and you’ll do fine. 🙂

        • Reply
          MaryL
          May 8, 2012 at 9:38 AM

          I also wanted to say that my son NEVER napped well. Everybody thought I was exaggerating or that I was doing something wrong as a parent…but he just never napped. It took me a while to realize that “down time” can be as restful as actually sleeping. Even now that he’s 8, if I see that he becomes overly tired, I allow him to lie down and watch TV for about 30 minutes, or go into a quiet room and read a book. When he was 2-3 I remember telling him that he didn’t *have to* go to sleep, but he did have to be still and quiet for about 30-60 minutes. It worked great for us, and I got to bypass the drama of trying to get him to sleep. He has always been an active and extremely aware child, never wanting to miss a thing.

  • Reply
    CJB
    May 7, 2012 at 2:53 PM

    Sounds like a typical 3 month old. My baby as well as my friend’s babies had the same “normal” napping issues and running errands with a young baby as you’re talking about. I would bet your issue with the sleeping and napping is more common than you believe.

    Also, why would you speak only Russian when your primary language is English and you live in an English speaking country? Why not both? It seem counterproductive to focus on only Russian if she is going to need English to live here.

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      May 7, 2012 at 5:54 PM

      Napping issues are pretty common that I know. But I don’t know any 3 months olds that sleep at night quite the way she does. 3 hour stretch being the longest one. At this age most have 5-8 hour stretches. The most she’s ever had was 4.5 hours ONCE.
      Same with her eating: 30-60 min intervals for the first 2 months. She now finally spread that to 1.5-2 hours at 3 months which is where most babies start.

      Re: language, I will ignore the seeping incredulousness in that question and will answer it anyways: the best way to raise bilingual kids from the effectiveness standpoint is to use OPOL (one parent one language). That would have me speaking exclusively Russian and my husband English.

      • Reply
        CJB
        May 7, 2012 at 6:07 PM

        You’re right. That was a terrible question regarding the language. I guess I mistakenly assumed you were only teaching Russian.

        Most babies according to whom? I have a 20 month old that will still wake up once a night. I would say he was about the same as far as the eating and sleeping at Lexi’s same age. I think we set ourselves up to feel like something is wrong with the baby or our parenting if the baby isn’t somehow like most babies according to books.

        • Reply
          Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
          May 7, 2012 at 7:11 PM

          Actually in a one parent household it’s better to speak only non primary language because they will easily pick up the dominant language from peers

      • Reply
        Jessica
        May 7, 2012 at 9:10 PM

        “At this age most have 5-8 hour stretches.” – I hate to be contrary, but I only know of one or two moms who had a baby regularly sleeping 7-8 hours at a stretch at 3 months! On a good night, at 4 and 1/2 months, I will get a 4 hour stretch at the start of the night, then two 3 hour stretches. A bad night is 3 then 2, 2, 1, and 1. Between my relatives, mom friends, two parenting groups and the parenting forum I participate in, I “know “about 100 or so moms, I find that my baby tends to be pretty average! My best friend’s 6 month old still eats 2-3 times a night (and he gets formula as well!).
        I’m also confused by this: “30-60 min intervals for the first 2 months” do you mean 30 minutes from the start of one feed to the start the next? I didn’t deal with it as long as you did, but for the first month or so (since my girl is such a slow eater), eating “every two hours” meant I would only get an hour or 45 minutes, or less, between nursing session (at night as well!). I think that’s pretty typical.
        I don’t want you to think that I’m picking a fight, not at all! But I agree with some other posters that it would be really hard for one to set themselves up expecting an exceptional baby, thinking it is the norm; I would imagine it would be hard to adjust to a regular baby.
        But I have to say, I’m very jealous that you get to to be at home with Alexis! You’re so lucky that you have such a great support system with yourself, your husband and your mom all there to take care of Alexis. From the perspective of someone who just worked a 9 hour day after only 5 hours of sleep, I’m supremely jealous! 🙂
        And I think it’s awesome that you all are raising Alexis bilingual; it will give her such an advantage later in life!

        • Reply
          Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
          May 7, 2012 at 9:16 PM

          Every 3 months old I know (and I ding know many) sleeps AT LEAST 5 hour stretch consistently.
          As far as breast feeding, Alexis would only eat for 10-15 min max so if you count from start of one feeding to another then she was eating every 40-60 minutes. I’d have a 30-40 min break between feedings. I even have it in my tracking app- 24-26 feedings a day.

          Believe me I am happy to hear from mamas who have babies that do the same. But even my pediatrician says that eating that much and sleeping that little isn’t average and I’m sure she sees of babies.

          Either way, she’s slowly going towards the right direction and I am not bothered by her sleep schedule or eating schedule so it’s all good.

        • Reply
          Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
          May 7, 2012 at 9:18 PM

          Oh and as far as staying at home, I knooooow! I can’t imagine how hard it is to work and take care of a baby.
          My mom leaves in 2 weeks so it’ll be interesting how things will change.

      • Reply
        Anne
        May 8, 2012 at 6:08 PM

        My girl would sleep ~3hours max until she was 8 months old… it’s not that uncommon

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      May 7, 2012 at 7:09 PM

      Thanks for admitting that 🙂

      Most babies according to, I guess, everyone else I read about.
      And you’re right we do set ourselves up for second guessing ourselves. I do it all the time:why is she doing that? Should I be doing smth different? Is she ok?”

      It doesn’t help that some books talk about babies’ habits that are formula fed which can be different from BFed ones.

      So sometimes I have to tell myself, my husband and my mom (who doesn’t get why Lexi doesn’t sleep in her crib, eat every two hours, etc etc): “Every baby is different! Every baby is different! Every baby is different!”

  • Reply
    CJB
    May 7, 2012 at 3:10 PM

    And I would suggest not reading so much about what other babies are doing at this age unless you want to drive yourself crazy. Your baby is a unique individual, and most of the books are based on averages. But from everything you’ve written, she seems rather normal. Sometimes the way you write about her it’s as if you want to believe she is a real challenging baby so as to make your experience seem so much harder. It’s just challenging being a new mom with little sleep and being with a baby 24/7 when you were previously used to getting rest and doing as you pleased whenever you pleased. All parents have to make the same kind of adjustments as you’ve had to make. Just because someone makes it look like its easy, doesn’t mean their experience has truly been that easy. Some parents choose not to discuss their challenges, and you only see a snapshot of what they deal with. All I can say, is that the first few months are hard and requires an adjustment in lifestyle.

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      May 7, 2012 at 6:08 PM

      Ok you’re either totally reading into it or projecting because nowhere did I complain “oh poor me how hard it is”. In fact I don’t find it Harder than I thought it would be. Would I like to be able to take her out? Yes. Am I upset that she can’t be? No, as long as its normal for babies to do that. I gave up so much during pregnancy to ensure she is safe, doing work and putting my needs second is very normal for me.

      Would you feel better if I didn’t share what is going on with Alexis and instead painted roses and unicorns? Well that’s not going to happen. I write how it is and if you chose to read into it and feel like I’m complaining and how dare i and that somehow makes you feel better more power to you.

  • Reply
    Melissa
    May 7, 2012 at 7:48 PM

    I know exactly where you are coming from with comparing your baby to everyone else’s… we had a coffee group of THIRTEEN babies Riley’s age, and 80% of them would just fall asleep wherever, whenever, and were sleeping through the night pretty early… and it wasn’t their parents lying, I saw it firsthand! Made me second guess what I was doing, why my baby wasn’t a good sleeper, why she was the only baby EVER (so I thought at the time) that hated her stroller, if we should we sleep train even though it seemed so wrong, etc… I don’t have many helpful suggestions- I basically laid down or napped with her for her first 6 months of life because it worked for us… and as she got older it did get easier, so keep doing what you’re doing!

    Perks of having a so-called challenging baby like Lexi? The bond she will form with you is AMAZING. The co-sleeping and breastfeeding and constant interaction an attention she needs really help strengthen the bond and really help her development, as you can’t just leave her on her own while you go do something. A lot of effort now, huge pay off later (in my opinion). And I don’t mean to say moms don’t bond with easy babies obviously, hope this doesn’t offend anyone, I figured you would know what I meant…

    Also, I would say starting around 16/17 weeks things started to get easier with Riley, maybe it will be the same for you!

    • Reply
      tarynkay
      May 8, 2012 at 9:23 AM

      Large families are common around here and most of our friends our age are working on their third or fourth baby. I am even so blessed to know a wonderful mom of ten kids, which is just enormously helpful. All of our friends with kids said the same thing when we brought our son home: “Just get through the first three months. Do whatever you have to do. You will not remember the first three months later on, because you will get so little sleep.”

      Our son is now almost six months old, and I will say that this is completely true. For us, it has gotten much easier, he is sleeping longer and napping regularly. But I have close friends with kids around his age who are still not sleeping, one with a seven month old who still wakes up and eats every two hours. So I can’t promise you that Lexi will sleep more– my mom swears that I didn’t sleep through the night until I was ten years old.

      We did try one thing for sleep and then another thing, but never anything even approaching CIO. One thing that helped A LOT was a weighted blanket. My friend made one for me, but you can probably find them online, maybe Etsy? You swaddle the baby and then lay the weighted blanket over top. It keeps the baby from startling in her sleep, which allows her to sleep for longer stretches. That was a serious lifesaver for us, and I highly recommend it. We still use it every day, for naps and night sleeping. Another thing that has helped is not using overhead lights at night, just lamps. We also have blackout shades on the bedroom windows, I think this helps, especially with naps. We don’t talk to our son or play with him at bedtime or naptime, so that he doesn’t get the idea that he’s going to miss anything exciting. This seems to help. Do you guys use white noise? That has helped. Our son sometimes gets overstimulated before he is really ready to nap or sleep, and when that happens, just moving to a dark quiet room for awhile can help him calm down so that his waking time is able to be 2 hours with 2 hour naps. I don’t know if any of this will work for Lexi, but I thought I would share what worked for us in case it is helpful to you.

  • Reply
    lena
    May 8, 2012 at 4:58 AM

    Those blue eyes! She is such a gorgeous baby girl, can’t believe she’s already 3 months. I bet you’re right about that blonde hair!

  • Reply
    Therese
    May 8, 2012 at 7:48 AM

    When you go out, have you tried keeping her in the car seat covered with a blanket? I know my first daghter would get extremely over stimulated and the first few outting were horrible. Once I figured out the timing (right after she had been changed, fed and was ready for play) we were able to take her out and if she started to fuss and cry, I would put her in the car seat, cover it with a blanket and rock her. It always worked. They are taking in so much new information at this age it gets to be too much to process and makes them upset which is why going out is probably hard for you. I don’t know if you have an ergo, but you could try putting the hood up on that as well.

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      May 8, 2012 at 12:07 PM

      Blocking out the stimuli doesn’t work with her. She’s so intent on seeing everything that if she can’t see, she starts fussing and crying. And overstimulation seems to be more of a problem at home. I’m starting to notice that she simply doesn’t like being “stuck” or “restrained” in one place for longer than 15 min, like car seat, stroller, carrier. She will be happy initially and then start having a problem.
      And then all hell breaks loose 🙂

  • Reply
    Meg
    May 8, 2012 at 3:32 PM

    I have noticed a lot of comments about sleep so I just had to throw in a book that was a true help for me (and my 4 babies). I read it before my first arrived and it truly changed the way I envisioned “baby sleep.” Instead of their sleep (and my lack of sleep) always being an issue for me it helped me to remember that babies are not adults and their sleep patterns are different. It is very pro cosleeping and breastfeeding. It’s called The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and endorsed my Dr. Sears. Alexis is still very young to begin the techniques but its a good read when the babies are young just to get you thinking. If I remember it really started helping me at about 9 months when I truly needed them to nap in a crib out of my arms for at least one good nap a day so I could get a bit of a break! In the book “sleeping through the night” is considered 5 hours. FIVE HOURS!!! I don’t know any 3 month old that has done this. Accorording to this book babies don’t even have the sleep hormones that regulate their days and nights until 6-9 months at the earliest. So I am guessing babies that sleep 5-8 hours this young are very very rare. Mine were up every 2-3 hours until a year old to nurse and then started a longer stretches and finally stopped waking to nurse around 2 yrs old. Sometimes just your instinct is better than what the doctor says should happen or what others say their babies are doing! I guess my point is Alexis is a unique baby just like every baby and sleep patterns very just like personality. I think she is a lucky girl to have attentive parents that are able to stay home and give her the focus she needs!

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      May 8, 2012 at 5:35 PM

      I actually have this book. I bought it when I was pregnant after reading a few pages. I haven’t read it fully yet because I think it’s too early to “start managing her sleep”. I’d like to help her nap better but she seems to wake up when she wants to, so it’s cool with me. The only thing I’d love to change is how she fights being put to sleep regardless of whether I put her down early or when she’s really tired.

      Thanks for advice!

      • Reply
        Sara
        May 8, 2012 at 6:23 PM

        I can endorse the Elizabeth Pantley books too. My LittleMan started sleeping 8 hours fairly consistantly at three months, but I would always wait when he stirred at night about 5 minutes before going to get him. So he learned early on how to transition by himself. BUT, I also had him sleeping in his own room, in his crib from 2 weeks old because I just could not sleep with him the room with me. So that may have helped too. He was however an AWFUL napper, I cannot count the number of days I spent in tears because I could not get a break. The nap sollution book was so helpful.
        Additionally, I follow styleberryblog.com (just had a Feb baby too) and she has had some sleep issues of her own. She said that she consulted a sleep therapist for some help. I wish I had heard of that, so I’ll pass on who she used in case you might be interested. http://www.eatsleeploveconsulting.com/
        So glad that you are able to still enjoy Lexi, I was so tired and felt so alone I’m afraid I spent more time frustrated and trying to be the mom who did it all, then just taking it all in stride. When I finally learned to relax, I think he relaxed too and we have a much happier relationship.
        Oh and thanks for all the recommendations, if I ever get to have another baby you are proving to be a fantastic resource!

        • Reply
          Sara
          May 8, 2012 at 6:27 PM

          Oh, and the no cry nap book was wonderful for explaing what happens in sleep and had some really great charts that I still refer to even though my boy is 27 months old now.

  • Reply
    Ashley
    May 10, 2012 at 9:45 PM

    Ahh Elena my son was a terrible napper until like 18 months old when we went to one nap a day. I read every book and tried everything. Then my daughter came and slept and slept with no problem. Seems like all my friends had tougher 1st babies, maybe it’s something to do with being a new mom. Hang in there, at some point she will sleep. 🙂 I think I mentioned this book to you before Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It’s kind of scientific about how the baby brain works so helped me figure out what kind of sleep was appropriate at each age.

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