280 Million Oh My! {might be TMI for some}

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Based on all the pretty stuff I’ve been posting here, some of you may mistakenly assume this is a photography blog.  Fooled ya! I might have been distracting all of you with yummy recipes, and pretty Christmas pictures, but in the meantime more important things were going on, like planning a baby.
I think my last pre-conception post ended with me getting all my vaccines and tests done and over with it, but what I intentionally forgot to mention is that we were going through a much more important test that I honestly was freaking out about –
What’s there to freak out about?- you’ll ask.
Well, we were going under the assumption that both of us are perfectly fertile ( doesn’t everyone?), so after the initial pre-conception check ups, the plan was to start trying and if there’s a problem after 6 months, we’d deal with it then. Being the planner that I am, I wasn’t exactly at peace with that idea. For one, what’s the point of planning this whole thing out and then leave out what matters: whether we can make babies?
Nothing told me that I’d have any problems: I’m 26, I’m healthy as a gazelle ( didn’t want to use an ox reference), been on birth control for 8 years non-stop and the first month I went off of it  in November( aside from me freaking out from my PMS symptoms), my period came on schedule, so did the next, as well as all my ovulations. My husband, on the other hand, had some “concerns”. Nothing major, but coupled with his age (41y.o.), it sort of made me curious. However, we decided that we’ll wait until we’re ready to start TTCing and see. There was nothing that would tell us we should do otherwise. Until i started reading some articles and  baby or infertility blogs ( Internet is a bitch when it comes to medical stuff). To be honest, some things scared me. I read about tons of couples having trouble conceiving, I read about men having azoospermia ( no sperm), or men having bad morphology ( sperm crooked 🙂 lol), I read about women having to go through IVF and how difficult it was. Granted, most of the blogs I read had something to do with female infertility rather than male, but the seed was planted. After discussing the “chances” of DH having “sperm” problems, we decided that it’d be best if he did semen analysis, so that both of us knew that there aren’t any issues or if there are, deal with it. Like, if he had low sperm count ( which is pretty common among men), he’d go on Clomid, etc.

The next morning, we took off to the hospital to do the analysis. We were informed that he had to BRING the sample within 30 minutes of “producing” it.  The hospital is 40 minutes away from our house. Ummmm…do see a problem here? Well, we’re both very progressive and sexually open people ( me more than him- Russian upbringing), so we don’t blink an eye and go back to the car. I won’t  elaborate on the details, but a few minutes later we were walking back proudly holding the see-through sample bottle full of “the good stuff”.
“The good stuff” got promptly handed over to the technician ( man, what a job!) and we went home skipping (with the  satisfaction of a good deed done).
The results were expected that afternoon and as we have worked ourselves up quite a bit on this matter, we were waiting with anticipation. When the fax/call didn’t come in by 4pm, we called the doctor. Results weren’t in, they were going to call the lab. No call back that day. Oh-oh. Next morning. Calling straight to the lab. Lab can’t find him in the system.
O.M.G. They. lost. his. sperm.   
Major LOL
Finally a few phone transfers later, the sperm is found, the results are ready. Calling the doctor’s office – voicemail. Get a callback at 4 pm: Yes, results are in, No we can’t give them to you.
Say whaaat?
Apparently nurses aren’t allowed to open the results until the doctor does.
Sounds like bullshit.
But what are we going to do? It’s not like it’s HIS results, His sperm, and Our money that paid for the test…
Even more concerned now, because my “paranoid the-world-is-out-to-get-ya” husband thinks she saw the results and won’t give them to us, because they’re bad and she needs the doctor to handle/explain it. We’re promised the results first thing in the morning. Day 3(today): I wake up from a nightmare where we found out that Hubby can’t have kids. Feeling really bad all day. This time I call the office. Three times. Leave three messages: 2 on nurses voicemail, 1 with the receptionist. 1:50pm: WE GET A FAX!

We open it aaaaaand…

Ok, before i go into the results, one thing you should know ( unless you do already) is  what’s considered average/normal as far as sperm count goes is 20 million per ml with the total amount being at least 40 million. That’s what it takes to conceive a child naturally ( of course men can conceive even with a lower sperm count, but usually it’s a loooot harder).

So we open the fax ( e-fax)  on my iPhone and the number is…drum roll




With the total being 280 million sperm! Holy mother of testicles! My HUSBAND has 280 million sperm. EACH TIME.

All the other numbers, like morphology and motility ( forward movement) look good too.

We were sooo relieved. Not only is my husband fertile, but he’s one hunk of a man from the sperm production standpoint. His semen is a bit acidic, but that favors girls, so I don’t mind 🙂

So the moral of the story , because there’s always gotta be one ( there’s actually two) is this:
1. If you have any reason to doubt your  or his fertility ( testosterone, varicocele, endometriosis, fibrosis, irregular period) and are planning on starting a family, go get checked out right away. It’s just a few tests, but the peace of mind is priceless. And if there is something wrong, you won’t waste precious months trying, but rather get started on the treatment.
2.  Don’t be so quick to diagnose yourself even if the symptoms are a perfect match, do the tests and relaaaax.


Please don’t forget to VOTE daily!

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  • Reply
    December 9, 2010 at 11:12 PM

    wonderful news!!! Good luck now.

  • Reply
    December 10, 2010 at 12:27 AM

    This is a fabulous post…the content is wonderful, the pictures are hilarious, and the outcome is sooooo happy! Yay!

  • Reply
    Ashley Sisk
    December 10, 2010 at 11:16 AM

    I don’t mind that this is the content of your blog – considering that we’re going to try to conceive next year, you’ve given me a lot to think about. Now for your Dr. Seuss tree…I got mine from Target. They don’t have the exact same one in stock now but they do have a fantasy tree collection which is pretty fun: http://www.target.com/Chartruese-Fantasy-Tree-Collection/dp/B001I7IJN4/ref=sc_qi_collection_item

    • Reply
      December 10, 2010 at 2:04 PM

      Oh that’s a fun tree! I’ll definitely buy one like that next year!

  • Reply
    Natalia Deymonaz
    December 10, 2010 at 3:24 PM

    OMG your post cracks me up. Pics are funny! I both love and hate Internet for its information. 🙂

    • Reply
      December 11, 2010 at 3:33 PM

      Yeah, internet can really freak people out. But the worst part is that all those things you read are true. It’s just you always hope they won’t happen to you.

  • Reply
    Alla C
    December 11, 2010 at 3:22 PM

    Is AJ really 41??? He looks waaay younger! I bet you guys wont have any trouble conceiving!

    • Reply
      December 11, 2010 at 3:31 PM

      Yeah he is 🙂 I know- noone ever believes us when we tell them he’s 41. It’s good genetics, super healthy lifestyle (vegan, no coffee, no smoking, no alcohol, exercising) and being married to a young wife 🙂 lol

  • Reply
    December 11, 2010 at 4:56 PM

    Omg, My husband and I have the same age difference and planning to TTC in three months, this is a very useful article!

    PS Everyone tells me my husband doesn’t look 41 either lol. Good genes i guess, good luck to you guys!!!

    • Reply
      December 11, 2010 at 10:42 PM

      That’s a really funny coincidence! We should definitely keep in touch and see how out TTC things go 🙂

  • Reply
    December 19, 2010 at 2:10 PM

    A great post and super news!I’m very glad for you guys!Good luck now.Your pics a great as usual:)

  • Reply
    The Art of Making a Baby » Blog Archive Funny Pics of 2010 | The Art of Making a Baby_The Art of Making a Baby
    December 27, 2010 at 9:23 PM

    […] who read my blog might have seen this photo. It was taken after finding out the news about a particular test   that was done on […]

  • Reply
    December 30, 2010 at 10:35 PM

    haha, hilarious! Love your good attitude. Love that you took a photo!

  • Reply
    Hockey Wife
    January 30, 2011 at 1:54 AM

    Is it awkward that I was kind of giggling through this entire post?

    I love that you’re such a planner. I’m that way too. Although I never knew so much could go into preparing to conceive. Yowza!

    • Reply
      January 30, 2011 at 9:03 AM

      Hahaha! I think it’s funny that you did 🙂
      I checked out your blog and I love it. Definitely putting it in my faves

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