I AM DIVORCED.
I am divorced from always being the one to do everything for everyone, the one to plan, the one to think, the one to deal with the baby/kid stuff, the one to make money, the one to direct. I am also free. I AM FREE. Free to have my own time, unabashedly, selfishly and wonderfully. I am free to have a break from mommy duties and wife duties (what the hell does that even mean wife duties!!! Duties to a grown ass man? F THAT!). I am free to work. Work on my projects, myself, my peace, my mind, my heart. I HAVE ME TIME. None of this was the case when I was married, working from home with my 3 year old daughter, doing and thinking of everything, resenting not having true help from the other adult. When I say help, I do not mean "I tell you what to do and you do it" kind of help. I mean a share of the mental load, another adult on my level who takes care of half the things that need to be taken care of in the family. I am sure a lot of women feel/felt like that. I have seen countless comics about the mental load a woman carries that men tend to not share in. If you don't know what I am talking about, click on the image below.Because we deserve it.
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5 comments
I want to stand up and applaud you on this very real post. I am proud of you for posting it. I often find myself being jealous of my divorced friends because they get a break every other weekend. Then I immediately feel guilty for those thoughts because I love my children and Husband very much. I completely understand you. I keep telling myself, “When they are 8 & 9 we can start doing things as a couple again” so that is my “light at the end of the tunnel”. Anyway, thank you for the post. Thank you for honesty.
Thank you! There’s no need to feel guilty, it’s natural to want some time alone. It’s so hard not to be able to have a part of your old self. And yes, you definitely have light at the end of the tunnel :)))))
My husband’s parents divorced when he was a child. That has led us to try hard to make our marriage a priority. When our kids were little we didn’t have date night very often but occasionally grandparents would take them for a couple nights. Now that they’re getting older, we’d like to take more trips and we have a very trustworthy babysitter we can leave them with. Parenting is HARD work but it doesn’t last forever. We’ll still be married when our children leave home and I don’t want it to be wierd/hard/scary/uncomfortable.
I love this post!!
I don’t have kids (my husband and I decided against it), but I think so many people with kids could relate to this post.
Thank you Jolene! 🙂