OMG!!!!
I am SICK of hearing people complain about “perfection”. You see that everywhere. Every other blog post, every other article, every other comment tries to show how wrong it is to display only beautiful things, right things, perfect things. That we need to show “REAL LIFE”.
Well, guess what for some people IT IS real life. Some people ARE beautiful, some people are fit and have great bodies, some people have spotless and pinterest worthy homes. I know people like that! And it IS a reality for them.
What is this belief that if things aren’t exactly how you have them and how you’re used to them, then instantly it’s fake and wrong and it’s not showing the reality or MY FAVORITE: “sets up the wrong expectations for other women”?
If I read in one more place how someone or something sets up the wrong expectations….
F%^& you!
No one sets up any wrong expectations other than the person with those expectations themselves. PERIOD!
People do not owe each other to be less “perfect” than they are, JUST SO other women (and it’s an issue with women more than men) wouldn’t feel so bad about themselves.
When are we going to stop coddling everyone? Or more importantly, when will people stop being so easily offended and stop feeling, like they don’t measure up. For gos’s sake get some f*&$ing self-esteem!
If your parents didn’t do their job instilling in your that you’re amazing as long as you work hard at what you do, then do that for your self. Read some books, talk to a therapist, but stop blaming blogs, friends, TV, celebrities for your own feelings of inadequacy.
Personally I am generally very happy with myself and my life, and by some other people’s measurements my life isn’t perfect. My house is ALWAYS messy. Do you know why? Because I don’t give enough f*%$ to waste the time constantly cleaning it. I would much rather spend time with Lexi, or work or blog or read or travel or spend time with friends, or enjoy the outdoors, or do anything that is more self-fulfilling than cleaning. And I am ok with that. I am ok with my house, looking like a hurricane has passed through most of the time. I’d like it to be better but I realize it simply can’t. Because I have other priorities. And I know people who have spotless houses and I admire them and wish I had enough time to be like them. But I don’t. That’s a reality for ME. Not for them. I don’t hate on them for having what I don’t.
I am not a designer and I don’t have time pining over designs and making them into life or money to hire a professional, so my house is a mish-mash of styles. And you know what? I don’t give a f&^%, because I know my limitations and I also know my priorities…
That doesn’t make me feel inferior to anyone with a immaculate house for one second. I wish my house could be like theirs, I love what they have done with it, but I just know I can’t do it. Not now.
I don’t have time to have perfect hair. OMG my hair is a rat’s nest most of the time, because again priorities.
I have no sense of style. I try, but it is really hard for me, so I just end up looking meh and in awe of those that can put together an outfit that looks great. I end up wearing dresses most of the time, because there is no styling involved.
There are people that take way better pictures than me, and have superior writing styles. People who are better at all things that I think I am good at, and I often look at their results wistfully knowing I will never be that good. Or have the time to be that good.
I would like to, but I just can’t. And I am ok with that.
What I am not ok with, and what annoys me beyond belief when I see it is other people hating on awesomeness under the disguise of some white knight agenda of protecting women from “wrong expectations”.
For some women, it IS “real life” to have a thin body after 4 kids, pinterest worthy homes, personal assistants… And for others, it is real life to gain weight as they get older, have a 10 year old couch, no budget to travel beyond a grocery store and a baby that just won’t sleep through the night with no family help. As long as we are happy within ourselves and with our circumstances, it’s all good.
Be awesome! Make it “real life” for you! Kick ass! Stop Hating! Accept yourself! Inspire and Empower other women!
That’s my rant/PSA for today! Mucho Love!
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Amen!!! You took the words right out of my mouth.
Thank you! I have thought that for a long time, but sometimes it just pours out, like come on people!
Not everyone’s life is perfect when they way they present it but for arguments sake: So what? So what if they don’t have that perfect life? I like blogs on a shallow level but I don’t feel like I know someone, let alone am friends with someone, just because I read their writing.
But that “perfect life”? We all live it…at least on the internet. That’s pretty much social media. Fortunately, we are not obligated to share every moment with others as if they have an all-access pass to their lives. I agree with that. I do think it becomes blurry when some people clearly try to put on a facade of having that “perfect life” and giving advice on how to live said “perfect life” and then later on they finally reveal the colossal drama that had been going on in their personal life that whole time. My guess is that the ones who complain might think it’s hypocritical (just another perspective – I don’t actually know people who feel bad about themselves because of others on social media…nor have I really seen such comments on any blog).
One of my favorite bloggers though wrote a heartfelt post about how she didn’t realize it at the time but for the past several years she had indeed been trying to appear perfect. She baked beautiful cakes from scratch for her kids’ birthdays, went on “perfect” family vacations, published awesome fashion posts, did some of her own home renovations, etc). I never thought her life was perfect but I could see why others did. Anyway, she did this (“pretended” everything was perfect) because at the time, her marriage was crumbling and she was desperately trying to “fix” things. So she tried to fix every aspect of her life. If things looked perfect…then maybe they could be. Maybe she could be fine. Long story short, she ended up getting a divorce and it wasn’t even a big deal. As a reader, I appreciated the transparency despite not being too invested in her life.
There could be a balance though. But I gotta say…the two situations you wrote at the end of your post really got my attention. The one about how people should be happy with their circumstances. I have good circumstances but I can’t imagine why anyone would/should be happy if they had crappy circumstances! If I ever had to struggle, I’d be pretty bitter. I’d try to fix said circumstances or work my way out but I would never just sit back and be happy about struggle. And I think that wouldn’t be uncommon. It’s one thing to be positive and it’s another to just be delusional. I just find it hard to believe everyone should be happy with their circumstances. If that’s the case, then life would suck!
Have a good day, Elena!
I agree with everything you’re saying. Being happy with your circumstances has more to do with a situation where you cannot change it. We all can’t be billionares, look like models, have a designer house. All those things you gotta be ok with. And if you’re not, then you should do something to change it. The point is “accepting the situation” and then either making changes or being ok with it mentally and emotionally.