This is a quick post before I have to go put Lexi to sleep.
Some days all I have the time for before running out the door is to throw on an outfit and a diaper bag together and put a flower in Lexi’s hair. No make-up, no hair…au naturel, so to say.
But at least Lexi is cute.
“At least Lexi is cute”. So are you. You are beautiful au naturel, and it’s sad that you don’t recognize it. Do you want Lexi to grow up and think she’s not cute when she doesn’t have time to put on makeup and do her hair? Because children have a tendency to pick up on the insecurities of their parents…
Trust me I have no insecurities when it comes to looks, not because I think I’m the shit but because attractiveness is in confidence and there’s never any point in hating a part of yourself.
I do like dressing up and doing my hair and make up and I do like how I look without make up (not necessarily in this pic but in general ). So I was simply commenting on the fact that I couldn’t “get all pretty” for the picture.
Really… No need to read into everything I post 🙂
I think the issue taken with this post is that it comes across as you needing to justify ‘not being as cute as lexi’ without your make up and hair (you didn’t have time to do it.)
Many of your readers grew up in homes like that. make up and hair dos were required to be acceptable. You might be comfortable with yourself but you’re going to need to justify why you don’t have make up and hair done when you leave the house to others because they won’t find it acceptable.
I didn’t get the insecurity bit out of your post like Jillian did, but I definitely got that talking that way about your appearance CAN make a little girl insecure. Our society is already full of it. girls are told over and over and over and over that we need make up and hair dos and the right clothes and a certain body and less body hair and and and to be attractive and we need to be attractive to be accepted.
you might not actually THINK that… but to a young girl who’s trying to find her place, even if she was raised to have a great deal of self esteem, might hear her mom say ‘I just don’t have time to get my hair and make up, but at least you look cute!’ to mean ‘there is going to be an age where you won’t be cute without hair and make up.’
The picture is cute. It doesn’t need to be justified. Maybe you didn’t think it did and were just commenting on how moms have less time for beauty routines… but even needing to comment on having less time for a beauty routine shows how our culture treats women as ornaments. Men don’t have to comment on having less time for their beauty routines when they become dads.
I really don’t know how to read this post other than ‘Yeah, I know I need to wear make up more’ (which you’ve basically said in the past) or ‘compliment me!’ I mean, I’m guessing neither of those were your intention, but it’s absolutely how it comes across. Considering none of your comments thus far are anything except ‘noooo you look great!’ I think that’s how others took it as well.
for those of us who struggled at not being great at all the ‘beauty routine’ stuff expected of us by older women (and men) it’s just frustrating to see more of it, especially in terms of a little girl who might pick up that these things aren’t just fun, but necessary even on a Saturday just hanging out with family. You don’t need to comment at all on your not getting gussied up for a picture… it’s a family picture you are sharing…. few of us get gussied up just to take a snapshot while we are out with our families. No one who isn’t a complete troll would comment ‘but… you aren’t wearing make up!’ Life isn’t a photoshoot and no one would have noticed.
Wow! That’s a long comment! Lol
It really doesn’t matter much to me how others took or didn’t take what I wrote or didn’t write in this post. People react to things based on their life experience and values (and obviously you have many issues with that particular topic).
I personally do think that make up is great, that doing your hair is great, that dressing nicely is great. That IS what Will be passed down to Alexis. I disagree with people who say those things don’t matter- they do. Some people choose to deny that and that is perfectly fine- it’s their life.
It’s natural to want to look attractive and I think by focusing on the “you DON’T Have to wear make up or hair to be attractive” you create more self-esteem issues than if you were to approach it more naturally and with less focus. Telling people they shouldn’t feel a certain way when they most definitely do is a fast road to life long issues. Look at sex, nudity and shame put on all that- what THAT has created.
I think you fail to understand how all of this fits into the sexist misogynistic and paternalistic society we live in. if it were just about wanting to feel attractive, men would wear make up too. Not just rock stars or some subgroup of society, but the majority of men, just like women. But they don’t, because we have all been told it is okay if a man has light eye lashes and eyebrows, unlike girls who are told they are ‘washed out’ and need to fill in color. Which you yourself have said about yourself. Make up only matters because we have been told we need to be painted up to be taken seriously and to be attractive and we have been told we need to be attractive to others to be accepted. It isn’t actually necessary outside of a society that has taught women to paint themselves up like ornaments. It does nothing to better our lives beyond the general assumption that women need to make themselves more appealing as objects to be consumed by others.
I’m not sure how you can possibly think ‘you are beautiful without make up’ could hurt self esteem more than ‘make up is necessary.’ because the latter? Means you are ugly without it. Should your daughter get frustrated with all the messages that she NEEDS this stuff – to have friends, to be popular, to get a man, to get a job… that she is all but worthless without make up most of the time – she is going to be mighty frustrated when her mom agrees with all of that. You are also not going to have any clue at all what to do with a daughter who might grow up to shun standard beauty practices that are based on women being pretty things for men.
It’s not about liking make up and doing hair… tons of people enjoy those things just because it’s fun. The problem is when one implies these things are necessary (but only for women, not men.) by feeling the need to justify the lack of these things during a casual outting with family. I think it is really sad you are going to raise Alexis to believe these things are necessary.
I think you’re going a bit too far here.
I’m not sure how other women feel because I can only speak for myself, but I put make up on SOLELY for myself. I (and no one else) like the way it looks on me. It makes ME feel good when I’m all made up and dressed up.
I like shiny dressy things- it’s MY preference. If I were to do it for a man, I’d wear make up at home, so that my hubby would see it.
I never said those things are necessary. But never will I teach my daughter that they are wrong, that it’s wrong to want to look pretty and to dress up. I see so many women walking around the mall in sweatpants and dirty hair and it’s their deal but they wouldn’t go to a job interview that way, though they think it’s ok to look like that on daily basis. What happened with trying to be the best version of self? Oh wait, I know what happened. Attempting to prove to everyone that the worst version of self is good enough.
Also, sometimes I don’t need make up to look stunning, sometimes if I just make my face look clean and my hair neat, the completely natural look is gorgeous. And then other times, I wake and look at myself and my face just needs some “paint”. I don’t see what is wrong with that. And neither do most people.
I think women need to use their freaking brain and common sense and have fewer issues with themselves and other women.
People’s opinions (except those of my closest family) matter little to me. I do things that I feel are good and not to please others.
Agree to disagree, B, I don’t want to waste my time arguing.
Btw, Brianna, after re-reading your comment, I wanted to add something I missed the first time. I’m not sure where you got that I would ever in a million years imply or say that Alexis is NOT beautiful without make up, or that I am not beautiful without make up. However I will also never tell her it doesn’t matter or that she shouldn’t want to wear make up. I am prepared to accept her regardless of who she is- a tomboy, a drama queen, gay, transgendered, with or without make up, artist or scientist- it doesn’t matter to me. I think that’s what makes having kids fun- discovering and supporting who they are.
I think that society is definitely biased towards more attractive people ( i believe that’s biological) and whether it’s wrong or not, it’s a fact and to say that the society should adapt to your views rather than the opposite is self-righteous in the least. But in the meantime we continue living in a society where wearing make up and doing hair for women only is a standard that is expected. (though personally I don’t think it should matter in situations where looks aren’t an indication of skill, like job interviews)
Oh thanks for the “so are you” part 😉
I’d bet there are tons of women out there (myself included) who would LOVE to look as good as you do “no make-up, no hair…au naturel,” as you say.
That being said, what do you use for your skin-care? I know how much you value natural/safe products and your skin always looks so clear…I’d love to know what you use/about your regimen. 🙂
ditto! ive been re/searching for sunscreens now. both for self and baby before and after pregnancy. would love to know what kind/if any you use for yourself, your skin is gorgeous. seems so much bad chemicals in some out there they do more harm than good. hoping you still do that beauty routine/care post that you mentioned in the poll!
Lavanila sunscreen for both baby and you! The best!
Leah,
Oh I have my bad days skin wise. And often nowadays because I’ve been kind of abusing sweets.
The skin care products I use are by mama mio (simple cleanser and moisturizer) and I’ll be writing about my routine, but honestly the best thing you can do for your skin is eat mostly fruits and vegetable with little meat, lots of omega 3s.
When I was modeling, it didn’t matter what my skin care routine was, as long as I was eating like that it was radiant and clear.
Now don’t let the photos fool you though, it’s easy to put cover up and no blemishes will show up on a properly exposed photo. I have plenty of bad skin days and plenty of great skin days. I just really need to stop eating sweets…
I think you both look beautiful in this photo. I wished I looked that good after just throwing up my hair and hopping out the door:)
Thank you.
And I’m sure you do 🙂 you just don’t know it.
I love that Lexi seems to be posing in this pic. Such a pretty girl!
Oh also, I love that you don’t put those huge bows the size of a baby’s head in her hair! Just a small little flower is all she needs 🙂
Lexi is always always adorable in her pictures in this blog!!!! Supah cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girl, if I could look as gorgeous as you do au naturel, I’d be slap happy. ;o) You and Lexi are both beautiful! I love that she looks like such a “big girl”. She’s just as sweet as can be.
Thank you sweetie! I’m sure you do look gorgeous!
Natural suits you a lot 🙂