{It’s amazing to see how Alexis has changed in just 1 month}
{I initially wanted to wear this awesome red headband from Ruffles&Fringe , but after clipping my bangs up, I realized it wouldn’t work and had to take it off.}
Our first 4th of July as a family.
Hmmm. I honestly didn’t think it was going to happen this year. Up until recently we couldn’t even take Alexis anywhere since she wouldn’t fall asleep in the car, let alone a PARTY with lots of music, noise and people, 50 minutes away, that starts at 7 pm. This really spelled disaster, but encouraged by a few recent outings that were actually successful, coupled with our own desire to do something adult-like, we decided to go for it.
The plan was to keep her napping as much as she would all day and be sure that EVERYTHING was in the car and ready by the time she wakes up from her last nap. At which point we would whisk her away into the car and drive to the party to be there right at the start.
{the photo above was taken by the photographer at the party}
Oh those well laid plans of “a type of rodents and a few representatives of human species”. First of all, who were we kidding? We are NOTORIOUSLY late to everything. We always were before Alexis and we’re late now. It was all going well until the last nap. We gave Lexi a bath, I rocked her to sleep and went to get stuff done. Twenty or thirty minutes later she was up and as usual I swooped her in and started rocking again. She wouldn’t have it. Kept looking around and arching her back. Finally after some boob and more rocking she was asleep, I laid her in bed and went to a different bathroom to do my hair. Hubby stayed back to make sure she was good and asleep. 5 minutes later he comes out with Lexi in his arms. She was up, about 40 minutes before we had to leave, before we COULD leave.
I continued doing my hair while Andrew strapped her into our Nordic carrier and attempted to get the last few things done. I had all her toys packed, her cloth books, her bedtime books, her blankets, her lovey, a Sunny stroll arch, a diaper bag, her outfit ironed and ready, my camera ready. He was supposed to take it all to the car while I finished my hair. Then I quickly got dressed and that’s where it started breaking down. I find out Andrew has to shave (what?), he didn’t catch that the stuff downstairs needed to be put in the car as well (what?). I put Alexis into her adorable outfit and as we walked to show daddy how pretty his girls were , she sneak-spits up ALL OVER her dress. (Lexi has this tendency to spit up without us noticing)
{BTW, I’d like to thank everyone who weighed in on the 4th of July outfit ideas for Alexis on my Facebook page. I loved all the suggestions and had actually ordered the Jack and Janie dress for Alexis but it had just fit her which meant that it would probably be uncomfotably small for her in 2 weeks which is when the party was supposed to happen. So I had to return it and ended up ordering a cute RL dress.}
Agh! Disaster! {ok, maybe not so much} I clean up her dress and fortunately it all comes right off. Whew! Bullet dodged! {ha! Naive first time mom!}
Eventually we get out the door and then I remember the first rule of successful event photography: take a picture before getting in the car because it might be the only chance you get to do it all dressed up and pretty. I still hadn’t put make up on (I was going to do that in the car), but I figured it’s no biggie. We take a few family pictures, on most of which Alexis is squinting from the bright light or trying to chew on her daddy’s shirt.
Then we are off to the party. Planned time: 6:20pm Actual Time: 7:16pm
To my surprise Alexis did pretty well in the car going back and forth from playing with my nursing necklace I hung up above her, to chewing and screaming at her Sophie. A few times she strained and I figured we’d change her once we get there. Half way down ( at that point it’s been 1.5 hrs since she slept) she started getting really upset. I figured it was time to eat and we pulled over to feed her. I laid her across my lap preparing “the meal” and that’s when I FELT IT. My dear girl had had a MASSIVE POOP EXPLOSION that leaked all over her Ralph Lauren dress. AGH!
{the photo above on the left was taken by the photographer at the party}
Well, so much for a cute outfit. We had to change her into a spare onesie we brought which just happened to have red white and blue colors ( I sort of subconsciously packed it), and while it was one of my favorite onesies, it wasn’t the special 4th of July dress mommy agonized over, asked opinions, ironed and hoped to see on more than one picture. Oh well, that’s babyhood for you.
Once we got to the beachside area, the traffic was INSANE because everyone goes to the beach to see the fireworks around here, so we probably arrived at the party at 8:30pm (nice huh?) It’d been 2 hours since Alexis slept and this was the point where I usually put her down. She was getting really fussy being stuck in a seat.
We finally arrived, valet’ed our car and went in. There were about 100 people at the party, I overheard the valets say in awe. One of the reasons I was really looking forward to this particular event, besides the fabulous food, entertainment, host and his house and awesome people, was my friend Elena who I hadn’t hung out with since Alexis was born. She hadn’t met Alexis yet and we were both just really looking forward to seeing each other.
{the photo above was taken by the photographer at the party}
Alexis was getting so much attention and after some time she was really loving it.
There were 3 bands at the party. THREE! All pretty awesome, but this charismatic guy was the bomb!
At that point it had been 4 hours since she slept and while she was NOT fussing at all with all the sights and music and people, I could see how very tired she was getting.
So I took her into the house and walked upstairs into a nursery ( J has a few sons with small kids who sometimes visit) to try to nurse her to sleep. I was very fortunate to have a rocker there since Alexis doesn’t do well without one. But no matter what I did: fed her, rocked her, sang to her- she just wouldn’t go to sleep. I laid her on the bed thinking maybe that nursing position would be more conducive to sleep but instead she wiggled her body and pumped her legs, ready to play.
The photo above just cracks me up. Elena feeding me while I am feeding Alexis 🙂
After a while we decided it was really time to go. So after changing Lexi, we went out and were waiting for the valet to get our car (Yeah, this house party had valet parking, crazy huh?). I was nursing Alexis while rocking her as we stood there talking to our friends. When our car arrived, I noticed that Alexis was starting to fall asleep at the breast, so I held off a little longer. Then, while very drowsy, we put her in the car, and after a bit of fussing on her part, she fell asleep as soon as the car started moving. We both let out a sigh of relief and drove home.
{At 11 pm, all happy and ready to play}
It was our first big success in getting out with a baby, especially that late and we expected it to not go so well, so it felt really great to have had a good time and include Alexis in it, as well.
I wrote a post about the few things I learned from this late night outing that worked for Alexis, so feel free to check it out here.
OK, I have to ask! 🙂 With all of your planning and preparation you do how do you not have a backup outfit for Lexi?! I don’t plan nearly as much but I still manage to have 2 backup outfits for EACH of my girls in their diaper bag! Hell when my girls were newborns I even had a backup outfit for ME stashed in the car b/c I had pooped/peed/puked on (all at the same time) on more than one occassion. Lesson learned!
I had a backup onesie. But I should have thought to bring the 2nd dress I had.
I might prepare for some things but often getting out of the house is an controlled mess. We forget things all the time lol
Just a tip: always keep your diaper bag fully stocked that way you always have something on hand! I don’t pack a diaper bag every time we go out. I just replenish as things get used.
Yeah we do too. This time we had to pack a few extra things just because it was the first time we went to a late night event and weren’t sure what exactly she was gonna need so we brought everything. Lol
Don’t know if you thought to do this or not but just thinking about how close Alexis’ blowout got to you, I always bring an extra outfit for me too! They have come in handy so many times. I even keep a change of clOthes in the trunk of each car b.c Hudson spits up so much. Glad it worked out well for you all, you look beautiful!
See that’s something I really haven’t been doing but should. It’s just we are always late and i just try to get everyone out of the house, make sure we got all Lexi’s stuff, hurry my husband along, I ALWAYS forget about myself.
I need to put a change of clothes in the glovebox for me and just keep it there.
Do you unpack her diaper bag after each outing? I found that if you keep the diaper bag stocked and ready to go, you end up only having to grab a few things (if anything) to get out of the house.
What I do is prepare our things the day before we head out. I always bring 4-5 set of clothes for my kids, and that depends on where and what the outing is. There’s no harm in bringing lots of clothes for kids, and preparing the day before gives you a lot of time to go through the things you already packed and the other things you need. And if it’s a long drive, say 2 hours or more, letting her wear a onesie is much safer. Well, now you know, and that’s how we learn. 😉
I had the same experience regarding my baby not wanting to sleep even if you are already inside a nursery, well it’s a different nursery, even if it’s quiet and comfortable I think some babies can’t sleep because it’s an unfamiliar environment to them. I, personally, can’t immediately sleep on a different house. Maybe that’s what babies feel too. What I do is bring a stroller with us so that we can place our kid there if they feel tired and want to sleep. I am of course assuming that your baby wants to sleep in the stroller. And you get to still be at the party. 🙂
It’s funny because she generally loves new things but she gets so interested in new environment that sleep goes out the window!
We have also been really bad at preparing ahead. We intend to but are still to change out baby less ways of packing last minute 🙁
such a bummer she pooped on her adorable dress!! It took me awhile to learn that lesson, now when we are going places I pack my kids up in plain white onesies and then dress them in the parking lot. I know it’s a little tacky,but the outfits are guaranteed to make it 🙂
Have you ever thought about printing your blog out as a book? I often go back in your blog and read your bump updates for where I am in my pregnancy.
Hi you said she sometimes spits up. Apart from reflux have you considered a protein milk allergy? All three of my kids had this with symptoms of irritability, runny poo and constant spitting up. When bf them I had to eliminate ALL dairy from my diet and the result was instant. Formed poo, not irritability and NO spitting up. When I had even milk in my coffee I would see symptoms come back. When I stopped bf they went on prescription Neocate formula until about 12 months until they could tolerate introduction of small amounts of cows milk. Milk protein allergy is difficult to diagnose but way more common than you think. Given you are bf cutting out dairy would be easy to see if it makes a difference.
As a side, you are so pretty but why do we never see you smiling with teeth? And i mean that nicely. When next to Andrew with his big smile it looks like you are unhappy.
Lol I’m ahead of you 🙂 I cut out dairy 3 weeks before Alexis arrived because dairy is the culprit for many things in little babies.
Her reflux is now just normal spit up, it doesn’t bother her much.
I appreciate your suggestion though. Too many ppl underestimate what dairy does to babies.
Re: your question, I guess it’s my Russianness lol you don’t really smile in photos, so a smile without teeth is good progress. Lol
Love the pictures! And love the one where Elena is feeding you, awww so sweet of her 🙂
Speaking of “always late, waiting for hubby” – LOL
This is SO us!!! You cannot imagine! And we have no kids yet!
Usually I’m all ready and dressed standing by the door and Massi still needs to finish doing obviously important and urgent things!
Like shaving (!!!), putting things to wash (!!!), ironing smth! Argh!
Yes!!! Precisely! Like we were late to his bday dinner and after he disappeared into the house forever, I went to get him. Do you know what I found him doing? Folding down the ironing board. Seriously? Would you like to scrub the toilet right now maybe?
He cracks me up sometimes.
I’ve got to ask: Can you please explain your reason for nursing with your whole boob out? I nursed both of my daughters, most often in public, including restaurants, a hockey game, and graduation at the school where I teach. Never once did anyone around me see as much of my boob as you routinely show while breastfeeding. It smacks of “you’ve got a problem with public nursing? here’s my boob!”, which is not exactly the best way to go about changing people’s attitudes towards NIP. I will defend to the end a woman’s right to nurse her baby whenever and wherever, but you seem to be more interested in provocative photos (hence putting them on the internet) as opposed to simply feeding your kid.
I don’t know of any other way of nursing in a low cut dress.
Also this was the view from where my husband was. Anyone looking from the other angles would see nothing but her head or feet.
Blanket covering your boob. Nursing bra that opens from the top. Nursing shirts that cover your boob. I came up with those off the top of my head.
Then you put it on the internet, so it’s no longer just what your husband is seeing.
Again, I’m pro-NIP but you seem more interested in making a statement than simply going about the business of feeding your child. Which is fine, but be forthcoming about it. You’re not actually helping the NIP movement along.
You suggest that I wear a nursing shirt UNDER my party dress and in 90 degree heat, to boot?
I did wear a nursing bra in that picture. And I refuse to use a cover up out of principle (and Lexi would be more interested in playing with a blanket)
In any case, the point is that we shouldn’t have to cover up. No one saw my boobies at that party but my husband and friends who are all cool with it.
All that is showing is the top half of her breast. Which is showin b.c of the dress she is wearing anyway but it suddenly becomes unacceptable to see once she’s feeding Lexi? Covering up or not covering up NIP should be accepted
Thank you!
That’s exactly what I’m saying 🙂
The only way to nurse in a low cut dress is to pull the neckline down.
Can you please explain your reason for policing what percentage of boob is acceptable for a nursing mother to show in public?
Wow! Like out of Brazilian soap opera (the images) 🙂 my big LIKE! very beautiful!!
Can we all, as adults, please stop using juvenile words like “boobies”? They’re breasts. I’ve never heard adult women talking about their bodies in this way. My 10-year old sons say “boobies.” But they’re 10.
Good point lol
It’s just a cute word to me.
Her outfit is so precious! I’m going to tell you what we do to avoid the major outfit disappointment thing:
I never dress our girls at the house. The will ride to the even in something else and when we get there, they get changed in the car 🙂 Same for me. I NEVER get dressed at home or if I do, I do everytthing except throw the dress on. After we load everyone and everything up, I run back in and literally all I have to do is throw the dress/ outfit on.
Also, as far as the sleep goes… we parent VERY differently, but I will tell you this. Start doing nap time in different parts of your house in the pack and play. It will save you in times like this when you want to be out late. We do it with our girls and now we can take them ANYWHERE and they will sleep.
Lastely, in the millions of things we take with us, we take their pj’s. If it’s goign to be a late night (if we put them down or not) we will change them there beofre we leave, so when we get home, it’s straight to bed. This is great when we don’t put them down so then there is not all that stimulation to change them… car to bed.
Oh the things we learn along the way.
YOU ARE BRILLIANT! The idea with PJS is great! I don’t know how I haven’t thought of it, because it’s so simple, but you’re so right! We’ve been going out late a lot and she always falls asleep in the car on the way home ( with some fussing of course), and then I transfer her but have to change her into pjs once she’s in bed sleeping. I am soooo doing the pjs trick.
The reason why we haven’t been putting her in a onesie and then dressing her at the event is because she hates getting dressed. SO it’s been difficult to change her into an entirely different outfit at the event.
As far as packnplay idea, it’s an interesting one, but Alexis’ problem isn’t that she won’t sleep in an unfamiliar place, but that she loves going new places and is too excited and wants to see everything when she is there rather than sleep. I’d have to go into a dark room and even there if there’s any light getting through the window, she’ll be staring at it. Plus she needs the whole rocking shebang to even fall asleep at home, so I think until she doesn’t need to be rocked to sleep, she’ll have trouble falling asleep, especially when all she wants to do is play.
It really does make all the difference with the pj’s! I also wanted to ask you about the sleeping thing. Do you not let her fall alseep on her own? Meaning, let her lie there and “talk” and play and just unwind? All my research and the board of pediatrics all recommend letting the baby fall alseep on their own for several reasons. We do it and it’s great. Both my girls will stay in their cribs until “wake time” for us, 8am. I will eat my words on that tomorrow btw b/c I said it. They also fall asleep on their own and will sometimes talk and play with their loveys for 15-20 minutes after we say goodnight. Don’t get me wrong, we still rock them and give them snuggles and have a great bedtime routine, we just don’t rock them to sleep, never have. Help me understand.
We don’t rock her because that’s how we like it lol Trust me! I would be very happy if she just fell asleep on her own ( though I do enjoy our snuggle time when I rock her). From day one the only way she’d fall asleep is while being rocked. It has never changed. Recently ( as in, in the last 2 days), she’s fallen asleep on the bed with me while nursing, but it had never happened before that.
Some babies just need “help” falling asleep. Eventually they grow out of it. As far as lying in bed “talking” in the morning, again, I wish 🙂 Like I said in the comment before yours, she’s a very active/ “engaged” baby. From the moment she wakes up, she’s ON! She’s up at 6-7 am with a huge grin on her face and “demands” to be played with, or sit her up, or take her somewhere “fun”. If it wasn’t at 6 am, it’d actually be really cute. Again, she’s changing so much, so recently she’s been “talking to herself” in the morning, not for long, before she is bored of it, but we can’t sleep with her babbling away, because we bedshare. So we sort of snooze if it’s too early in the morning, and soon enough she wants to be up and going.
I am seeing a lot of changes going on with her, so it’s possible eventually she will do exactly what you’re talking about ( how old are your babies?). But for now, we just go with the flow, and do whatever she needs to be comfortable, emotionally and physically. Hope this explains it 😉
My son will be 4 in November and I still lay with him every night at bedtime. He’s too big to rock now (and actually getting too big to lay on me and I’ve spoke with him about going to bed by himself like his brother does recently..so we will see) but he asks me to rub his back. Since he is a big guy now I do wish he would go to bed alone but I love the snuggle time with him and I know he wont always want to. Everyone does what is best for their family.
My girls will be 1 and 2 in september. They are less than a year apart. We {read, me} had to really work with them to “train” them to do this. They fuss and we just work through it. It’s not like they came out fo the womb and were awesome. Well, they were awesome because we made them 🙂 But just like a baby (and the mom for that fact) don’t know how to nurse from the beginning and you had to learn and they had to learn. Same thing with sleep training. We had to work with them and get them on our “terms”. We are trying our best to raise them in a parent centered home. Our thoughts are this: What are we going to do when they leave home and it’s just us again?” We have seen so many marriages crumble when the kids are gone and the last 20-25 years were all about the kids adn then they are gone. Then what?
Therefore, we have set up strick boundaries with our family. Do we love them more than anything? Oh my, YES! Do we give them snuggles and play and have family time- heck yeah! Do we spoil them out of their minds when they are awake? You better belive it!
When we sit down to the table, everyone sits there until everyone is done. When we eat at a resturant, we EXPECT our children to sit and to particiapte in a conversation. (you better belieive I’m stocked iwth quiet toys and cheerios!!). When my husband and i are having a conversation, they are not interupt. It’s crazy because my almost 2 year old understands this already. Is she perfect at it- no way. But when she does interupt, I tell her, AB mommy and daddy are talking and it’s not your turn now. over and over and over.
As far as the sleeping habits, we’ve said even before we had kids; no one in our bed except for us. Now will there be times when we break this, I’m sure. But we just firmly believe that everyone should have their own bed and they should be in it. Period.
We “co-slept” once. For one night. We were in a hotel and the oldest would not sleep, so i brought her to bed iwth us and it was a nightmare. Never again.
You can totally work with your little girl and get her to be a better sleeper. I remember with AB to start training her to stay in her crib until our “wake time” which is 8am. I would put some quiet toys in her crib. She would just wake up and play with them. I slowly then took them out. As far as the fussing, it’s okay if she cries for a few minutes (or whatever you are comfortable with) until she falls asleep. There is nothing wrong with that. The ABP says it’s okay. Sometimes they do it b/c they have just a little bit of energy to burn off. My youngest now fusses for a few minutes, sometimes. But I know she’s okay, she’s safe and her belly is full, so I’m okay with it. My oldest has turned into a diva the last few months and wants to be rocked and then my husband tickles her and they yell “i love you” at the top of their lungs. It’s funny, I don’t get it though. And then that’s it.
Also, during the day- both my girls have either “room time” (the older one) or pack and play time (the younger one). They will play in their room or p&p for a certain time. This is great so I can get lunch ready or take a shower or empty the dishwasher or get ready to leave the house or respond to this!!
During said times, there are TONS of toys to play with and a snack!
As you said before your and our parenting styles differ a lot. We parent in a baby led way therefore we don’t believe in training. When she’s a bit older and can understand more as well as have self control, we’ll talk to her about what we’d like her to do. But right now our focus is on something different. 🙂
As she grows she makes a lot of changes on her own and becomes a better sleeper, independent player, etc.
I left that super long winded message and now I feel bad. Not that what I said wasn’t true or what works for our family- because it does!
I’m sorry that not once did I say, your doing great! Being a mom is so hard and then you put your life on the internet and it opens a fire storm of critisism. You already feel guilty and second guess yourself over everly decision (at least I do) and then you have people telling you your doing it all wrong. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to cme across that I”m this awesome mom and I have it all together- lord know’s I DO NOT!! But I just wanted to share what works for our family.
Haha! Don’t worry about it! I didn’t take it that way unlike some people do with my posts lol
I know you were just sharing what works for you. I don’t read into things 🙂
Just a suggestion from a mother of two and a grandmother of five. You can put the baby down while you are getting ready to go somewhere. I understand that this baby wearing thing is popular now, but really it adds so much stress. Babies, especially your baby’s age can be put down to occupy themselves while you load the car and shave and dress and all that. Good heavens, women my age would be considered terrible mothers now because we actually let our babies entertain themselves while we did the housework, the laundry and the cooking. She is too big to be strapped to you while you load the car and how can that be fun for her. She might be in a better mood if she was allowed to move around a bit before the trip.
When that’s an option, we definitely do it. But at that time she wouldn’t just sit on her own. She’s a very active baby and needs to be moving around and seeing things, and since she’s immobile right now, it frustrates her. Now, she plays on her own while sitting for good 10-15 minutes if she’s in the good mood, but I still wouldn’t leave her to sit there alone, while I run to the garage or upstairs, on;y if I am in the same room and can see her.
It IS okay if babies get frustrated, though. It’s what gives them the impetus to learn new skills. Frustration can be hard to see as a parent, but it’s actually pretty beneficial to kids’ development. 🙂 I’m not saying abandon your kid or anything, but definitely she will need to learn to struggle if she’s going to learn to crawl and walk and roll around a lot. If she’s still immobile, she’ll be fine if you run upstairs. She’ll be right where you left her! 😉 She’ll be okay, and will learn that you’ll be right back!
Also, how hard can it be to get ready when you have one immobile kid, and two parents there? lol. You should try doing it with several active little kids, while your partner is at work! Now that’s some tough shit! I guess it’s all what you’re used to, though. 🙂 I do remember thinking it was hard to do stuff when I had one baby. If only I knew what a cakewalk it was compared to when they’re toddlers!
I’m not worried about her frustration per Se but more that she’ll wiggle out of sitting position and hit her head/face etc. I don’t like leaving a baby this age unattended. When she was smaller and I could just put her down somewhere, maybe, but back then she’d cry if I did.
I don’t think it’s hard getting ready with a baby. I don’t believe I said that anywhere either. You’re reading into it.
But I feel like once she can walk (well), it’ll be easier cuz one of us won’t have to hold her, while the other gets ready. (I know there are going to be other challenges at that point, though)
Do you have a bobby? Those are great for babes that need support for sitting. My girls used it and I love it!! Just a thought.
Yes I do. It’s a life saver but she easily wiggles her way out of it when she needs to reach a toy. It’s currently not safe to leave her alone even for a second.
Do you guys have a PnP? I’m confused by what you mean when you say that she won’t “let” you leave her unattended. Does that actually mean that she will scream uncontrollably if left to entertain herself? Is it the same thing for naps / bedtime too? I’m not being snarky, genuinely curious.
No, I said I WILL NOT leave her unattended because she’s mobile and wiggles out of her boppy. It’s just not safe at this stage.
Before about 2 weeks ago when she started playing on her own, she would start fussing (that would progress into crying if I ignored it, not that I ever would) and asking for attention/to play as soon as I step away.
Not sure I understand your nap/bedtime question… Like if I were to just put her in the crib, in hopes of her falling asleep? lol I’m actually laughing at that image and you would too, if you knew Lexi. She does not lie in a crib doing nothing on her own. If she wants to sleep, she’ll cry if I leave her there ( she needs to be rocked to sleep). If she is not overly tired, she’ll fuss, then cry because she wants to move, sit up, go see something. She’ll play in a crib with a toys for a bit, but as soon as she’s bored of it, we’re back to what I just described.
And just so that you understood, I don’t believe in letting a baby cry or CIO methods, so I respond to her before she has a chance to cry or “scream uncontrollably”.
My goodness, your friend Elena is beyond gorgeous! You’re a strong/confident woman to stand next to her in photos.