{Written on 5/25/2012}
If you hate getting up a few times a night to soothe/feed your baby, take heart in this: someone has it worse (and also the obvious: your baby NEEDS YOU). The night log below is surely going to make you count your lucky stars. And this post will serve me as a reminder to keep things in perspective!
{Play suit by Polarn O Pyret}
Just when I thought we were doing better with night sleep, the 4 months wakeful hit. I remember saying that we had hit the wakeful period at 2.5 months because she went from 1-2 wakings to 4-5 and someone commented “Just wait till 4 months, it’ll be like having a newborn” They were right. She soon started waking up EVERY HOUR. But it was nothing we weren’t used to. So I managed that just fine.
And then it hit: TEETHING. For the past 3 days I’m pretty sure my little girl has been teething based on all her symptoms (pulling on ear, chewing everything in sight, grabs our knuckles and rubs them on her gums side to side, drooling like a mad woman, chin rash from drool, refuses boob until really hungry, bites, all the usuals). She’s miserable at night, she’s miserable during the day. All we can do is manage her pain/symptoms and give her as much love as possible, even in light of her new night “schedule”. But then again maybe I am wrong. I don’t see any teeth or swollen gums, but I hear it takes a while to see those. I’ll give it a few more nights to find out, but so far we’re going under the assumption it’s her gums.
Update: she seems to have calmed down a bit and doesn’t appear in pain. Nights are still iffy (4-5 wakings) but that’s normal for 4 months regression. So still exhibiting symptoms of teething but she’s not in so much discomfort. And I’m loving having this log to show her when she’s ready to have her own babies (to scare her off haha)
It was the worst night from the “number of wakings” standpoint since Lexi’s birth. And it will serve me as a reminder for when Alexis goes back to waking up a mere 2-3 times a night that I should be happy, that it could be worse, that IT WILL PASS and most importantly that what will matter years from now is HOW WELL and lovingly we handled it (because any sleep deprived parent can tell you – it’s easy to build up resentment on little sleep)
So Self, come back to this post often, every time you feel like Lexi should be sleeping, every time you get upset she isn’t.
And everyone else, feel free to bookmark/pin this if you feel it will help you keep things in perspective.
{This is written purely for entertainment purposes. I’m not looking for sleep advice. It is simply a stage we have to go through and keep Alexis as comfy as possible.
I WOULD, however, love to hear about your first teething experience- age, what helped, how it manifested, how long it lasted, how you knew she/he was teething, etc…
Teething isn’t something a lot is written about, as it’s individual so I’d appreciate any insight. }
Have fun reading the log! This is how it has been for the past 3 days give or take a few wakes.
*Crying in this case means constant whimpering. We try to never give her the need to outright cry.
{This is taken from my nighttime log as part of Pantley sleep system}
Nighttime routine:
Bath, massage, say good night to items in room, read 2 books, swing in the swing a bit, rock a bit.
7:19 Asleep in bed ( we co-sleep)
7:49 Up nursing (this is normal. She treats anything before 10pm as a nap and wakes up every 40 minutes)
7:55 Removed nipple, falling asleep…
In and out of sleep, rooting, with and without nipple
8:13 Awake, rocking.
Put down in bed
8:25 Awake, won’t nurse, rocking
8:33 Asleep
10:23 up, crying. I nurse.
10:32 asleep
Fidgety
Calmed her down a few times by putting my hand on her belly
10:45 Up crying, rocking
10:50 asleep
11:00 crying/whining, rocking
11:11 Asleep
12:00 Up crying, nursing
12:10 asleep
12:16 Up fully awake, change, rock for 29 min until asleep
12:45 put her down
12:50 awake crying, rocking
1:05 asleep
1:10 Up again, whimpering for 5 min, rocking, nursing
1:30 still rocking
1:50 down, asleep
1:55 awake crying, changed again, tried rocking, tried putting in a swing, let her chew on a chilled teether, rocking again
3:00 Finally asleep
3:30 Up crying, nursing
3:31 asleep
5:38 up crying, rocking
5:45 asleep
6:37 fully awake for the day, won’t got to sleep, won’t nurse, smile central.
Total snooze time for mommy and daddy: 4 hours 40 minutes with a million interruptions.
Now she spent all morning whimpering on and off (more on than off) unless she’s chewing on something or being bounced and thrown up in the air at which point she is as happy as a clam as long as it continues.
So what’s keeping me going even though I am running on 4 hours of sleep today and less than 6 each night for the last 2 days?
This little face! How could you not!?
{a little preview of her 3-6 months video. I know I still have to do the 0-3 months one too}
So sorry, hope you got some sleep since, and such an adorable poor little sleepless sweetie! we went through some rough nights at 4 mo, still no teeth two months later, but sleeping longer stretches at a time. I was desperate and we tried sleep training, and in the end I did end up using a system to help her learn to fall asleep on her own better (not CIO) and there was a little crying involved in learning but things got a lot better at night. Now, nap is the next frontier. best of luck, you can do it 🙂
LOVE the little PJ in the photo, what is it?
Do you have Sophie the Giraffe? It’s my 4 1/2 month old’s favorite teething toy because it’s the only toy that he can get into his mouth on his own and keep there. It’s also flexible so it can reach his back teeth.
Yes, I actually do. She likes it but gets so frustrated when one of the legs doesn’t fit hahaha. I found THE BEST teething toy for her is Apple Park blanket teether, or a critter teether. You might want to try them too. It’s soooo easy for her to get the ring in her mouth and it’s organic.
Ohhhh, I hope this phase will pass really soon, so you all can have some good sleep!
Maybe she’s missing her grandma :))))
Man, you are SO LUCKY you don’t have to be up and at the office at 7 each morning! 😉 The 4 month sleep regression hit us pretty hard too, and I had a month or so of 4-6 total hours of sleep each night, and making it to the office and working a 9 hour day M-F was brutal. I see your doing a log per Pantely – No Cry Sleep Solution worked really well for us (we also co-sleep, although I start my daughter in the crib each night, then bring her into our bed after the first wake-up (and during the worst sleep regression, that would be 10 pm or earlier – ha!)). The best thing I got out of that book was babies definitely cry/whimper in their sleep – I realized I was waking her up more and making things worse! 🙂 Now I give her a few minutes to see if she wakes up or drifts back into deeper sleep on her own (and she’s right next to Mommy so I don’t worry about her being lonely/scared), and more often than not she’ll now fall back to sleep on her own! What worked for us was: Pantley’s book (as I mentioned), NOT getting her out of bed and keeping the room pitch black (we were totally waking her up more and making it worse!), but the single biggest thing was my daughter completely mastering rolling back and forth with ease just before 5 months, and now she rolls onto her stomach to sleep and sleeps MUCH MUCH better. You’ll get through it, everyone does! 🙂
For us, teething didn’t make sleep that much worse and now that her little teeth have poked trough her gums she’s fine. For symptoms, what we had was LOTS of drool, constant gnawing on things, pulling on her hair & ears, and random crying, esp. while nursing (and biting nursing nursing – ow!). The crazy thing w/teething is that you can have symptoms for ages w/no sign of teeth. I’m assuming you’ve talked to your doc to make sure she’s not sick? We had a little cold around 4 months too that made sleep atrocious – once we got it diagnosed and gave her some baby Tylenol @ night her sleep really improved – poor bug was in terrible pain & we didn’t know it! 🙁
You’ll get through it! It is tough when you’re attachment parenting to not yield to the pressure to sleep train, I know! I love the video – she is SO BIG!!!! I can’t get over it, my little girl is a month older and looks half her size! Isn’t it crazy that two on-demand breastfed babies can be so different size-wise?
Right on! I’d die if I had to work. Though I do get up at 6am anyways, since that’s when Lexi is usually up, so the only thing is I can turn off my brain and sort of veg (as much as you can with a baby).
I do love the Pantley book and while there are things that just don’t work for us ( like early bedtime- no freaking way- she just wont have it), I am committed to just working through it and helping her fall asleep on her own. Her tips are already working.
As far as whimpering, I play “dead” when she does that and if she doesn’t go back to sleep within 3-5 minutes, I get her. But with Lexi her whimper pretty much escalates into a cry fast.
Anyways, her symptoms were EXACTLY what you mentioned that whole night and day. Now she seems more comfortable though. No sickness symptoms and definitely not an ear infection ( which was my first thought when she started pulling on her ear).
Oh and her size- I know right? She looks like she’s a year old 🙂 Well it makes sense both her parents are super tall, as a BF baby her weight has to be around the same percentile…plus she LOVES to eat 🙂
Camilia, wet wash rag to teeth, and a teething necklace. My daughter still wakes up a lot at night when she is teething at 11 months. It’s one of our biggest signs. Those three things help the most.
The big trick we figured out w/the cold wet washcloth – waterproof bib so her onesie doesn’t get soaked! Teething does stink but everyone goes through it, and everyone gets through it! 🙂
Garrett was so easy going! Teething never really bothered him. We had one really bad night when he was about 1 1/2 where he was pretty much inconsolable but othewise he did awesome! He started teething around 3 months and got his 1st tooth around 5 1/2 months. Avery followed the same schedule. Showing symptoms of teething around 3 months and no teeth until about 5ish. She seems a lot more sensitive to the pain with more night wakings and fussiness. She loves her Sopie the giraffe. Hyland’s Teething tablets are all natural and have given her a lot of comfort on the really bad days. Nursing seems to give her the most comfort though and we the hang on until the teething has past. Once they are through the gums, the pain seems to be a lot better.
Tylenol, Baby Orajel, and Homedics Teething Tablets (100% all natural product) are what helped my little ones during their teething times. And yes, teething can last for months before an actual tooth pops through. So even if she doesn’t seem “better” with her gums in a few nights, doesn’t mean it’s not teething. Good luck, it’s a stinky phase for sure.
My son started teething right around 4 months old. By 5 months old he had his first tooth (yes it token a whole month of up all night for it to come in). The next 7 months, until his first hirthday, were constant teething with multiple night wakings. On his birthday he had 12 teeth. Life finally got a bit easier after that. The only teether he liked was my finger. We also used teething tablets and teething gel. The gel doest last long but long enough for him to usually fall back asleep. We just started hearting 2 year molars here and I forgot how hard teething is.
And I will just respectfully disagree with your bolded. “Your baby NEEDS you” every time they wake at night. That is simply not always the case. After a point, it just becomes a habit learned, not an actual need. Of course there are instances they do actually need you, but not always. After 6 months, babies have the ability to self soothe and is a coping mechanism they need to learn and use. Of course, Lexi isn’t there yet, so she does probably need you now. But that won’t always be the case.
This (“your baby needs you”) is more for me. If she wakes up crying even when she’s a year old, and she can’t self-soothe- she isn’t doing it out of meanness or spite. She simply can’t fall asleep on her own, therefore all she knows is to ask for help, i.e. cry. I ( just like most people) sometimes forget that. or get caught up in lack of sleep. But the way I WANT to be as a parent is responding to her every need and supporting her. She’ll become independent when she’s ready. That’s just my parenting philosophy.
And I think it really depends on the baby! My friend’s baby with colic with scream 4 hours a night if he’s being held, or if he’s in his crib, it makes no difference – sadly, that’s just his baseline state. 🙁 My little girl is usually content and happy-go-lucky, so that crying for her is out of the norm and it usually means she actually needs something. Some babies are just more fretful and emotionally high-strung, I think – I’ve read some developmental psychology books that say that some babies’ brains aren’t as developed when they are born, and it just takes them a lot longer to adjust to being outside in the world and their brains just can’t handle it as well. But they will also catch up, it just takes some time!
But how is she supposed to learn to self soothe/fall asleep on her own if you never give her the chance? These are learned skills, not skills babies are born with. I would think that letting your baby cry for a few minutes between sleep cycles while learning to self soothe is far better than waking her up every time she whimpers and disrupting her sleep even further.
Not sure where you got the “waking baby up every time she whimpers”. I can differentiate my own baby’s “I am awake & need you”cry from “I’m whimpering in sleep”.
You said that by “crying” you mean whimpering and that you never allow her to cry, that’s where I got it.
Whimpering doesn’t mean she’s not awake. I definitely play dead and wait to see if she’s still asleep. But when the whimper goes on and on and starts escalating. Her “in-sleep” whimpers are usually short yells that last just a few seconds. I wouldn’t want her to HAVE TO CRY CRY to get me.
Do kids not just gradually get the hang of it? I haven’t pushed my children to learn to fall asleep and self soothe, but they have certainly learnt how and now, at four and six, go to bed without complaining, fall asleep alone and rarely need any soothing until morning.
Not all parents believe that crying is a way to manipulate at any point. Babies are babies, and not on the verge of adulthood. I feel it causes more damage to let a baby cry it out even after 6 months than it does for them to learn to self soothe at a later date.
There are different ways to parent. Cry it out versus responding to your baby is one of those. Agree to disagree. I would never let my daughter cry it out and she is 11 months. She will sleep through the night when she is good and ready.
Amen! That’s exactly my philosophy!
I agree, not a single one of my kids has ever cried it out, I have 4 kids and 3 wonderful great sleepers with not a single night spent crying themselves to sleep. 😉
I agree with this. One thing that always confuses me is when people tell me that my son has the ability to self-soothe. Having the ability to do something doesn’t necessarily mean they should in my opinion. Independence comes from confidnece that your caregivers will be there when you need them, when you are in distress. That’s how I parent and my almost-15 month old has not turned into a clingy or whiny toddler yet, as I was told by so many. That’s just my opinion.
Congratulations on your baby. I am afraid I am probably more of your Moms generation and am shaking my head here…As the Mom of three kids (grown) I can’t fathom this kind of lack of sleep. I remember every four hours being torture, add to that co- sleeping when she does ..wow. I am curious what do the studies show about babies not being allowed to let a good cry and you as parents meeting every whimper as its uttered. I can’t imagine such a child at two years of age, cute face or not.
Actually babies who are responded to when they are crying learn a skill called interdependence. This is when they have the independence to take care of themselves, but also know when they need your help. Babies who are bedded close, responded too grow a strong trust with their parents. This helps them learn to care for those in need because they were cared for when they were in need. It also creates that independence because they know they can explore the world and their parents will take care of them. There is SO much education that needs to be done about Attachment Parenting.
Lets just say this, my daughter is smart, explores, happy, well adjusted, and independent. My friends babies who are left to cry it out and sleep in their own rooms often through fits and do not explore on their own. The independent play of my daughter v. theirs is unreal.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out
http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/dangers-of-your-baby-crying-it-out.html
Oh my…..and you said your child is 11 months. LOL. Just you wait, honey. Just you wait. The “fit” stage hasn’t even begun for you yet. Let’s not teeter off that high horse just yet.
But my babies are just as happy and loving and well adjusted and I didn’t and don’t get them every time they cry. CIO or even mild Ferbering is not evil. It can be very beneficial. But again, agree to disagree. I’ll take my STTN kids and you can take yours that doesn’t and we’ll go on our merry way.
In a fit I will do just what I have done in the classroom with all the toddlers and preschoolers I have taught. Communication is key. My daughter sleeping through the night does not come before her emotional well being.
I’m right there with you Michelle! People tend to confuse CIO with negligence which is ridiculous. I have 3 children and at 18 months it became very apparent to me that my son was crying simply because he knew I would get him. One night I opened my door and and said “tonight mama’s staying in her own room.” He cried for a bit and then never again. My other 2 children were great sleepers and never cried for us after 6 months. There is so difference is love, attachment and independent play amongst mine. My mom let me CIO and I’m a social worker and I am extremely attached to my mom even as a grown woman. I’ve come to find that AP parents are typically the most judgemental. Everything they do is right. Sleep is very important for your and your child’s well being. I do however believe 4 months is too young to CIO still so props to you for meeting her needs, Elena. We all try our best to do thee right thing for our children.
no* difference.
Hylands teething tablets are awesome! My daughter is 15 months and all 4 of her 1 year molars are coming in at one and she gets teething tablets every night before bed. The teething symptoms started at 4 months and we did not see a tooth until 7 months!
My oldest was showing ALL the “signs” of teething at 4 months – I was convinced she was getting ready to cut her first ones soon and went out and bought all the teething tablets, rings, etc. for her. and we waited and waited and waited…her first tooth came through at 13 months. Followed by the 2nd & 3rd around 15 months and her 4th at almost 17 months. She didn’t really start getting teeth regularly until 18 months and didn’t finish her full set until a few months back and she’ll be 3 this week.
4 months is a common age for babies to start drooling more and finding their hands and other things to chew on – combined with the fussiness of the wakeful period and her surely being tired from all the night wakings, you might not have to worry about teeth just yet!
Oh and the teething signs at 4 months only lasted a couple of weeks. From 4.5 to 9 months she had no signs. Then around 9 months we started seeing the little white buds under her gums on the bottom but that was the only indication we had teeth were on the way. She was happy and content until just before the first one popped up at 13 months.
My daughter was the same way from about 3-7 months. She got her first tooth at 7 months (at 10.5 she has four) but I would have sworn that any second during those four months that a tooth was going to pop through!
That is how my first 2 were like… With my first from 4-11 mos (8-11 being the WORST) She started fussy days around 4-5 mos but didn’t cut her first tooth until a week before her 11mos birthday. It was HORRIBLE LONG HORRIBLE process. For a few months she was waking exactly like your log above. Thankfully around 11mos she started sleeping better, and was sleeping through the night by 15mos (and by that point I was 5 mos pregnant and Hubby was getting up with her at night since my milk was gone). With my second the crazy nights started around 6mos (she cut her first teeth by 7mos) and didn’t stop until around 33 mos. :0. Some weeks would be better than others. We discovered she is extremely intolerant to gluten and dairy and when we cut all that out: night waking stopped. The night wakings were managed best by: Pantley Pull Off…and adding in other soothing techniques that I could use in place of nursing. Also, after their first birthday, I bring the hubby in on the night time care (at least for some of it). We also co-sleep (well baby in a bed next to ours after the first couple of months) so that all I would have to do is pat their bum until they went back down or pull them in for some milk and put them back. I managed where I mostly slept through whatever they needed from me in the night time needs department. As long as I don’t have to get out of bed, even on the worst nights I feel rested.
My third is hitting 4 mos and she has swollen gums where 6 teeth are moving into place (JEEPERS!!). She is REALLY hard to get down- I have never experienced any thing like it. She does NOT want to miss any thing. But also, it is obvious her mouth is really hurting her in the evenings and she cries when she nurses because the gum pain is making it hard to latch with out pain. :0( Once I get her down she only wakes once or twice (for now). One thing I am doing differently is that I am dairy-free and gluten-free and I think it has made a HUGE difference. I notice the nights after I have had even a HINT of diary she is up just like my other girls were. She fidgets all over the place, acts like some thing (mainly her belly) is hurting her and seems impossible to settle. Looking back I can see how much my older 2 did this! I wish I had tried elimination. It takes 3 or 4 nights for the dairy to clear her system (which makes avoiding dairy at all costs REALLY appealing because those nights are so hard) and about 2 weeks for her fidgeting to completely go away. Like I said, if dairy is gluten are completely out of our diet she sleeps from 10 (or 11)pm-9a.m. with 2 some times 3 wakings.
Have you considered cutting out dairy and or gluten? I always rolled my eyes when people would make a “oh it must be some thing in your milk” comment…People always seem to find blame for the milk. But, having seen the difference it has made for my daughter I will now not shy away from at least asking some one to consider it. It has made a HUGE difference for us. HUGE difference.
I actually cut out diary completely 2 weeks before giving birth after reading a book full of studies on how it impacts infant’s digestive system (it’s horrible). We had no problems with her tummy or gas, not once. I also excluded citrus, fried foods, onion and tomatoes after her birth when we found out she had a bit of reflux. She’ll still get some if I eat those things. So trust me, you won’t get an eye roll from me. My hubby is vegan, we know very well how nutrition impacts all aspects of life, some people more than others.
have you tried amber teething necklaces? I’ve heard they really work for some babies and all you have to do is wear them all the time (loop it around her ankle at night under a sock so she can’t mess with it).
Agreed on amber necklaces!
I’d research them first, there is absolutely no evidence that they work and it is scientifically impossible, amber does not release any chemicals till it reaches 200 degrees, obviously your baby is not getting it that hot by wearing it. In double blind studies parents claim the work whether it’s actual amber or it’s synthetic equally as much.
My son got his first two teeth a week before 4 months. He started showing signs of teething at 8 weeks. I thought everyone was full of it because it didn’t seem possible to me. Well I was wrong. Drool was epic, he couldn’t sleep for longer than an hour, runny poops are a staple of teething here, the ear pulling was constant, as were rosey cheeks. I used camilia drops (most effective when cheeks are extremely rosey and about 20 mins before sleeping and always 15 mins away from anything else in the mouth)and hylands teething tablets. They were AH-MAZING for us. Frozen wash cloths. When she is older frozen pickles (for sucking on ) are wonderful. The acidity in the pickles helps wear down the gum and the freezing is soothing. My son got teeth in chunks (2, 4, 4, 3, 3, 2, 2) He’s 21 months and we’re done, 2 year molars included. While it felt never ending, I am quite happy it’s done.
Runny poop… Hmmm…. she’s had runny/watery poop on and off for about 2 weeks now. Same time frame with ear pulling and drool.
One thing that I didn’t realize before becoming a parent is that teething is a looonggg process. I thought maybe a baby was “teething” for a few days or even a week, but I’ve definitely learned that is not the case. I LOVE Hyland’s teething tablets, but I know they have lactose in them so you may not be comfortable giving them, but OMG they work well! If you’re not comfortable with those I would reccomend chamilla tablets. Also, a Baltic Amber teething necklace. I was sceptical at first, but I see a difference when my son wears his. It is not a miracle cure, but he definitely seems more comfortable. He was a horrible teether when he was younger, but since we’ve gotten the necklace teething hasn’t been nearly the event it was before. In fact he’s currently cutting his molars (he got 3 this week) and it hasn’t been bad at all. I credit that to his necklace.
Teething with my littleMan took us a little by surprise to start, he was over 6 months when the bottom two suddenly appeared. We’ve had a Baltic Amber Teething Necklace on him since he was 3 months and he still wears one at 2+. I swear it helped with the drooling! As he got older the most obvious sign that he was teething was the disgusting, slimy, stinky poop he would have. He would also often run a low fever and or have a runny nose. Not enough to be sick or a cold, but enough to alert us. We often heard diaper rash as a sign of teething, but i think that came from the gross poos. We just finished with his two year molars and glad we’re done with that. There were times that, while I didn’t like doing it, we gave him infant pain reliever at night so he could get some decent sleep. We also got some clove oil, diluted it in olive oil and rubbed that on his gums. Definitely dilute, then test in your mouth before you try in hers as it can be really strong.
Read Ferber’s book. Even if you are against CIO, this book is the best I’ve read about sleep on babies, or the lack of. I didn’t want to do CIO, but after almost 8 months of no sleep, I read Ferber. My daugther only cried less than 3 minutes the first night, and like two the second. Since there.
Again, I’m not telling you to do CIO, just to read the book.
Have you tried an amber necklace? It worked wonders with both of my children. Also, I know that you are not looking for sleep advice, but you should know that sleep training and AP can most definitely work together. Of course we want to be there for our children and nurture them and read their cues, but we also want them to get good rest because sleep is essential for growth and development. “On Becoming Baby Wise” is controversial in some AP circles but I found it to be an incredibly useful tool for both of my babies. It really helped us to find a good routine that was still completely focused on the baby’s needs and cues.
I know you said that you are not looking for advice, but what worked for us was the pacifier. I was very anti-pacificer before my guy was born, but then I learned he hated the car and that’s the only thing that helped. Around 4 or 5 months, he stopped wanting to comfort nurse and preferred the pacifier. He still wakes for a couple night time feedings, but using the pacifier in-between really helped us.
She won’t take a paci. At all. Around 3 months I stopped even trying. Maybe I’ll try again, but she’s too in love with my boob and her fingers, so I doubt it’ll work.
It’s worth a shot! Until that point, he never used it at night–just the car. They have strong personalities from the get go.
You might want to keep trying. In the beginning I was sort of neutral about the pacifier thing (if he took it – fine, if he didn’t – great, I never took a pacifier as a child,) but then wished he WOULD take it when he used me as a soother and he wouldn’t. I kept trying and he finally took one at around 4 months old. Only one he would really ever take is a Wubbanub (has a soothie pacifier.) But he loves the stuffed animal part of it… if he’s ever been given a regular pacifier, he tries to grab onto the animal part of it and when he realizes it’s not there he won’t take it. It’s not organic or anything, so don’t know if you’d be interested in trying that, but they have been a lifesaver for me. We have 3 or 4 of them, lol.
Yep! Keep trying.. . .all different types too. The Wabbanub worked best for my daughter too!
My daughter is the same way – she took a paci for about 4-6 weeks when she was a new newborn, but hasn’t since. I’ve kept trying but still won’t take one at 10.5 months.
My little man is seven months now and I do feel like we got so lucky on the teething. He spent a few weeks literally drooling through his shirts and then one morning we woke up and bam…two lower teeth. But I know so many people who had weeks of discomfort. Some of them had success giving the baby a dose of tylenol at night before bed.
The 4 month wakeful was awful for us! But I will tell you the great thing about these terrible sleep periods. You’ll have days or weeks that are just a blur of fatigue, but then one day our of nowhere you realize that for the past few nights, sleep hasn’t been a problem at all, and everything has passed.
My son (now 12 months old) started teething at 4 months, too. His first tooth didn’t break until 7 months. He drooled, rubbed his little fist in his mouth, chew on us, chew on toys, chew on whatever he could get in his mouth…lol We used the Hyland teething tablets and those seemed to really help. Now he has 9 teeth with a 10th emerging and he probably wakes only once per night. It does get better and I hope it gets better for you soon! My husband and I take shifts so we can get an uninterrupted 3 hours each during these trying times.
Oh my goodness, she is just the sweetest little thing. Those chubby thighs and cheeks…I don’t know how you can get enough!
I don’t have kids myself (currently TTC), but was a nanny for a long time for a family that went from one child to four in the time I was nannying. I often stayed the night with them as the parents traveled. That four month wakeful is HARD. I was there for 3 of the 4 children’s 4 month wakeful. Luckily (for the parents and for me), the wakeful was short. It lasted only a week or so for each baby.
As for teething, what I learned from being with the kids was that the teething toys are more useful when they’re older (say, 6-12 months). I ended up wetting wash cloths, folding them like an accordion, then folding in half and freezing them. I’d take them out and let them thaw for a few minutes (since I know it’s not good for a baby to have a teether right out of the freezer), then hold them and let the baby gum on the wash cloth until they were satisfied. It worked like a charm most of the time. When I could tell they were really in pain they’d get a bit of baby orajel or hyland’s teething tablets.
I hope Lexi’s wakeful is short. She’s so sweet, though, I wouldn’t mind being awake with her, either. ;o)
What an absolute cutie patootie!!! Hang in there re sleep. Clare was a similar sleeper/nurser/co-sleeper (she’s now 20 mos old). I never knew if it was for-sure teething or something else developmental, but like you, I just helped to soothe her the best I could. It passes. With very little guidance (mainly just adjusting to not nursing at night), she was sleeping 12+ hours a night without a peep at 13 mos old, and bedtime was 6pm, lol! Talk about a change in our lifestyles! 🙂 It IS all a phase, and I like your self reminders. Keeps you sane! 🙂
If she is cranky at night, ear pulling and only eating when really hungry, have you thought at all about an ear infection? That is exactly what my little one did when she had one. Some times when they chew on things like that can mean teething, but that is also soothing when they have pain in their ear drum.
Have you read Ferber or Weissbluth? I find that a lot of women don’t read them because of their reputations, but once they do read realize how reasonable and gentle most of their suggestions are. We didn’t do CIO with either of our babies until past 6 months, and even then it was gradual (they never cried for more than a few minutes).
That sleep schedule you wrote out sounds like torture for the whole family. Babies need solid REM cycles as much as adults do. Without them, they won’t develop to their potential. You “meeting her every need” actually sounds like you are ruining her ability to actually have some solid sleep. She doesn’t need a boob every 40 minutes; she is doing a lot of this out of pure habit – not hunger. And it is a habit that is causing the whole family to remain exhausted.
You read a lot and I highly recommend you reading Ferber or Weissbluth. ESPECIALLY Weissbluth (Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child) because it explains in depth the importance of children getting solid, motionless, REM sleep. Teething can be hard, I’m not denying that, but it is no excuse for the night you blogged about here. I think you are making this worse by your reactions to your daughter and it is going to be to the whole family’s detriment.
I am, in many ways, a Weissbluth devotee. I think his theories are great. There’s only one problem – theories run smack into the reality of babies! My little girl seems personality-wise like Lexi – she was a very easily startled newborn, is very alert, very visually active, very strong-willed. Yet as a family we are pretty different from Elena’s family. My baby sleeps in a crib in her own room. We do nurse on demand, but my baby takes a pacifier for soothing and can fall asleep from the drowsy but awake state in her crib after some holding most of the time. Yet she has always defied aspects of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I’m not sure she will organize her naps the way the book says (still waiting to see at 13 weeks) – many little babies who are 20 or 45 minute nappers don’t. Wakeful children exist, there is nothing wrong with them, and the “experts” don’t always know YOUR child.
I used to stress about my little girl’s lack of consolidated sleep. Then I realized that as long as I was doing everything reasonable to help her with sleep I was doing what I could and that was the best I could do. Even when she has nights where she’s up every 10 minutes for an hour, that’s just life with Baby.
Pantley nap book has awesome tips on helping 1 cycle nappers. We are doing so much better with nap thanks to those tips. I usually get her to sleep 2-3 1.5hrs-3hrs naps with an occasional 40 min nap here or there (with a lot of parenting of course)
According to Weissbluth (from a comment on his blog), I can’t expect any sort of organized naps until between 3 and 4 months, so since my little girl is only 13 weeks I’m waiting to see if longer naps develop naturally. May check out the Pantley nap book if I find she needs some help. At younger ages I tried everything – patting or putting my hand on her before she hit the end of a sleep cycle, trying to pop in the pacifier, nursing back to sleep, all sorts of things. Nothing really worked.
Oh my gosh, as a first time mom-to-be that’s due in August, your schedules freak me out.
I’m so glad my friend gave me a copy of “BabyWise”– her baby slept through the night at 6 weeks and I’m so excited to have a similar game plan where our child does not rule us but we rule the child. Please stop scaring us mom’s to be with what doesn’t have to be reality! 🙂 Yikes!
Also, wanted to add– when was the last time your husband and you got any time together ALONE? Sounds like you can’t even leave the room without your baby disrupting into a fit of tears after 5 minutes. If you want to teach her to be independent like you say in all of your posts, you have to start doing baby steps now, not letting her become a stage five clinger. For the sake of your husband, I hope that you’re able to always make him #1, but with the way things look in every single blog post of yours, it’s apparent that baby rules the roost.
As a first time mom with a 4 1/2 month old your post makes me laugh! Reading a book does not make your baby STTN. Your baby will STTN when they’re ready. Come back and read your comment at the end of this year and I’ll think you’ll see how naive it sounds.
I was hoping someone would explain that (and many other things like “What’s the point of having a baby with an attitude of “baby doesn’t run me, I run baby” (which you will find out is not the case most of the time), and many other)
Also forgot to add, I feel bad that your baby will be #3 in your household behind you and your husband. It’s a shame that 2 adults can’t put someone so dependent and innocent ahead of themselves.
The comments are just hilarious 🙂
“Oh come on, you cannot always put your baby first!” and then immediately after “Omg! I cannot believe you cannot put your baby first!” :))))))))))
Two things:
One, babies shouldn’t be sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, especially not breastfed babies! Young babies need 8-12 feeds in a 24 hour period to meet all their nutrition requirements, which is almost impossible if they’re sleeping 6-10 hour stretches at night.
Two: Are you serious about encouraging “independence” in a four month old baby? The fact is, human babies ARE dependent, and are going to be for a hell of a long time. What is it with western culture that leads people to separate themselves from their babies and try and promote independence when they’re hardly out of the womb?!
Directed at Heather…
*Giggle-snort* You’re in for one hell of a rude awakening, sweetheart…
Please don’t take the word of Gary Ezzo (Babywise author) as any kind of authority on baby care.
He has zero qualifications in the area of child development. He currently self-publishes his dangerous materials because his publisher dropped him like a hot potato after too many children were hospitalized with Failure to Thrive or dehydration from following the Ezzo method. The AAP even issued a statement warning against following the advice contained in “Babywise.”
What is good about the Babywise materials is not unique (the “E.A.S.Y.” concept) and what is unique about them is not good. Yes, people can go through the Babywise materials and alter it to be OK, but the fact remains that if you follow it to the letter, babies end up in the hospital. That’s not the mark of a quality parenting program.
Read about the history on http://ezzo.info
I am a mother of six amazing kids from ages 14 years to 9 months. I read some of Ezzo’s materials when my first was a baby, and it really did not help improve my parenting skills at all. Experience and trial and error have taught me to stay far away from “baby trainers” like Ezzo, and that the baby stage goes by in the blink of an eye. There’s no gold medal or trophy if your baby sleeps through the night at 3 days old (and yes, some babies do. Other babies don’t sleep more than 3 hours at a stretch til they are 2-3, both are variations of NORMAL development). What counts is developing a relationship with your child, learning to listen. Developing the ability to have a balance between trying to do the best you can, and realizing perfection is impossible. Good enough is good enough, and what my baby needs is love, not perfection.
I second what you said about Babywise- horrible horrible book.
babywise scheduling has actually KILLED some babies, sleeping through the night at 6 weeks is not worth that for me.
If she doesn’t really fall asleep until 10ish why not just keep her awake until then or let her naturally fall asleep instead of rocking her until she falls asleep? I’m not trying to be rude, I’m just honestly curious. I don’t have any kids but it just seems like she is getting put down to bed way too early if you have to nurse/rock her every 10-15 minutes.
That’s what I’m wondering too lol
All the sleep book say putting them down between 6-7 will help. I’ve been doing it for a week now and it’s looking like it just doesn’t work for Lexi. I’ll give it a few more days and then start putting her to bed when she tends to go on her own.
I say give a later bedtime a chance. While the sleep books say putting them down early will help. They haven’t met your child. I can honestly say that I myself was a night owl as a baby and so was my eldest sister. We both turn out fine. My own daughter (who is about a week younger then your little one) does VERY well with a later bedtime. She sleeps through the night once she’s out BUT only if we get her to sleep later then 6 or 7, because she’ll definitely just treat 6 or 7 as a nap (and she does.) It might not help, but its worth a shot, right?
I don’t know if this has been suggested yet, but to me it sounds like she has an ear infection. Teething never bothered my guy, and he also never had a four month wakeful (honestly, I think that’s something that’s sort of made up.) I don’t say this to brag, but I think with the kind of wakeups you’re experiencing, it could be an ear infection.
We thought about it but it doesn’t look like that based on all the signs she’s exhibiting.
Wake ups were always the sign my older son had when he had an ear infection. Our younger son has had two ear infections and we didn’t know either time. You don’t always know. Drooling, runny poops, ear pulling, constant waking…I would get it checked out. I would be going insane with more that one night like this.
Luckily no more nights like this. I am watching it…but it really don’t think it’s an ear infection. If she has another problem, we’ll get it checked out. If not, we have her 4 months appt in a week
You just got lucky with the no 4 month wakeful. We experienced it at about 3.5 months and it lasted about two weeks and was horrible. Started suddenly and ended suddenly. I’m so grateful I knew what it was, because otherwise I would have been freaking out!
Hi Elena! I love your blog and love how you have documented this phase! Your daughter sounds SO much like my son – in sleep habits and personaliity. I will give you my experience – teething was no big deal for us. We gave him stuff to chew on, and Tylenol a few times, but that was it and we got thru it easily. I will tell you though, that I always thought he was a poor sleeper due to teething. Fast forward to now, he’s two years old, done with teeth, and still wakes up every one to three hours. 🙁 We cosleep and I nurse him back to sleep. I have never done any “sleep training” with him and he’s used to having the boob to go back to sleep – I thought he’d naturally grow out of it but no dice so far. I’m planning to use Dr. Jay Gordon’s method of nightweaning this summer. I know it is going to be very hard for both of us, but I want another baby and I can’t go on like this much longer. So I guess just wanted to say not to panic about teething, hopefully Alexis will be a better sleeper than my son and if not, just prepare yourself for the sleep deprived lifestyle lol and start reading all the sleep books! I sometimes wish I would have tried some sleep training earlier with my son, but then I see how happy, smart, energetic, smiley, and loving he is and I attribute at least some of it to the way we have met his needs at night. Good luck!
Personally if she doesn’t STTN till 2 I’m fine with that. Sleep training is just not for me but I will be doing “sleep encouragement”. I love the solutions given in the no-cry books by Pantley and I’ve already seen them work.
I gotta tell you though, I respect you SO much for not having given into the pressure to sleep train for 2 years.
I’m finding it very interesting how many people are attacking you as if you’re doing something terribly wrong or hurting your child. While I raised my son very differently, it certainly does not give me or anyone else the right to tell you how to raise your child! I find it very important to remind myself when I feel bad about my parenting or I disagree with what someone else is doing, that I or they are not bad parents. Bad parents are the ones that abuse their children, starve them or sadly even kill them. Good parents are the ones that do their very best to love their children as best as they know how to, to feed them, clothe them and provide for their needs, even if it isn’t how everyone else thinks they should.
That being said, don’t be afraid to gently guide your daughter. She is as you already know, a super intelligent little girl who will meet the expectations you set for her. I always tried to look ahead and think what did I want the end result to be and then plan out my steps on how to get us there.
I don’t see anyone attacking me. There are a few people that disagree, but I don’t think anyone insinuated that by tending to my baby I am hurting her. You might be reading comments intended for a different commenter above.
As far as gently guiding, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. To be honest, Alexis is a very determined and strong baby, so I know it will take A LOT TIME for me to help her learn how to fall asleep on her own, but I am prepared to do whatever it is she needs me to do, however long it does take. I have all the tool and time and opportunities are on my side.
Ain’t that the way of it, just when you think things are settling down and getting into a nice routine… They change it up!! Lol. I forget when my little one started teething, I just remember her nursing ALL THE TIME when she was. Like literally 24/7. Looking back, it’s all a blur. I barely remember the hard parts, I just remember the good parts. That’s nature’s way of tricking you into having another one hahah. I’ll have a nice reminder soon since I’m pregnant with Number 2. 🙂 I do recommend Hyland’s Teething Tablets or some sort of homeopathic remedy, they’ve always worked well for us.
Ahh…teething!! I always say it is the worst part of parenting bc there’s only so much you can do to comfort your baby :(. I always just medicated her with tylenol (i know some people want to stay away from pain relievers when they are so small but this really was the only thing that seemed to help the most so i figured she would be ok for a week or so on it). I also used Humphrey’s Teething Strips, Hylands teething tablets and baby orajel. I used frozen teething toys and rags, but that only seemed to help in the moment-i’ve heard good things about Amber necklaces…never tried it, but i might consider it the next time around.
Also-4 months sleep regression is the so HARD!!! I’ve experienced with both my daughters….don’t let anyone try and tell you its not a real thing….bc it TOTALLY is! Its like you need to retrain them all over again. But you are so right…it will all be a memory one day and right now your baby needs you! I love how committed you are to Alexis and her needs!
I am in the ‘teething is a myth’ camp. I read a great except in a parenting book by an Australian author that says that in many many cultures around the world there is no such thing as ‘teething’ or ‘teething pain’. Especially well before they show up. I thought it sounded like a great theory. Once they even used to blame cot death on teething!!??
Teething causes nothing but TEETH! Humans grow teeth all through their lives… but it is only those first few that we blame on ‘teething’ and then go on to blame for sleep disturbances, drooling etc etc. Babies drool. They stick things in their mouths. They gum. Sometimes they wake up. They get red bottoms. None of this is due to teeth. Growing teeth is not a pathological state!!!
I thought this theory was fabulous. As such I decided that I wasn’t going to believe the myth. Low and behold if my first baby didn’t pop up a tooth at 17 weeks – no tears, no waking, no problems…. then grew a mouthful of teeth and had no problems. Then I had another baby. He also manged to grow teething without ‘teething’. I wasn’t looking for something to blame for things like cyring or waking… just accepted them as normal parts of being a baby.
And, I’ve never seen a 7 year old crying and having a red bottom and drooling when their front teeth come through – generally they are pretty excited and it is a huge cause for celebration in the family!!! Not a negative time.
Like everything, you’ll find evidence for what you look for… but I’d rather leave that myth to the side!!!!
I actually sort of agree with you. I did read that theory and it made sense. But in the biggest scheme of things. Symptoms are symptoms, regardless of why they are. If your baby is uncomfortable, she is uncomfortable, it doesn’t matter why. For me teething is something to hang my hat on, something to feel better about, pretend like you know the reason. In the end everything at this age is a phase, so who cares what we call it. Today she’s teething, tomorrow she’s sick, in a months she’s learning a new skill…
But at the same time I do think that teething CAN make a baby uncomfortable. Teeth poking through the gums can be unpleasant and some babies are more sensitive to it than others
Heck teething can make me uncomfortable. My wisdom teeth all just cut through and I was in agony and sucking on ice constantly.
I have to agree with C, my wisdom teeth hurt bad when they started to come through (I had to have them removed before they came through all the way). It was not pleasant at all. I can only imagine how that would feel on new gums that aren’t used to food particles and such poking at them (just imagine how much popcorn kernel coverings hurt when they get stuck in your gums). I’m not saying all the symptoms are necessarily associated with teething, but some could be. We just don’t know, do we?
Yea, I distinctly remember my 12 year molars hurting when they came in and I have a wisdom tooth trying to break through my gum right now that really really hurts. Also my 8 year old son is getting his last 6 year molar now and they hurt as well, as did my sister’s 12 year molars last year. Teething definitely hurts, of course there is no drooling, you learn to swallow excess saliva by the time your next teeth come in and adult teeth coming in after baby teeth have been lost doesn’t hurt either cause they don’t actually need to break through the gums, the baby teeth did that for them.
Of course it’s easier for a 7 year old to have their front teeth come in sans discomofort and drooling, there are holes in the gums from the baby teeth making way for the adult teeth that have been pushing down on the root of the baby tooth. The “adult” teeth don’t have to “cut” through the gums like the initial set of teeth.
Well my two babies managed no problems *shrug*
But like I said, I decided it was a myth….like most things, we filter them through our perceptions and belief systems. And the less things to worry about the better!!!
For us LO started exhibiting signs of teething at about 3 or 4 months but the first teeth didn’t pop through until he was 7 months old. He was a crazy drooler for that period though. We would go through bibs and onesies like nothing else. I finally got the bibs with the waterproof back and then layered a regular bib on top of that and it helped a lot.
Ahhh my nights used to be almost exactly the same with Charlotte! She is only *just* sleeping through most nights now, at FIVE, lol! She seriously had never sept through the night until recently, but hey, I survived! (barely haha)
Thankfully my little man is a much better sleeper 🙂
No teething advice sorry, I really just wanted to say how cute Alexis is and I enjoy looking at all her pictures, keep them coming! =D
I totally agree with everything Jill wrote. She does not need a boob every 30 minutes…it’s adding to the problem. This is coming from someone who didn’t co sleep but at one point was up with my son (who also never took a paci) 17 times during the 4 month wakeful. He constantly wanted the boob to fall back asleep and it created a mess. I second the books she suggested. She is definitely overtired and not falling into proper sleep cycles. Also around 4 months they should be taking about 3 solid naps a day.
Thanks for the comment but like I said I’m not looking for sleep advice- we have it all figured out the way it works for us and Lexi.
I thought for sure Riley was getting teeth around 3-4 months. Drooling like crazy, biting/sucking on everything… she didn’t get a tooth until about 7.5 months. We actually used this natural teething spray, called Naturopharm Teethmed Relief Spray, and it seemed to help a bit. I never really knew if she was in pain, and didn’t want to be giving her tylenol every time she MIGHT be hurting.
Here’s to helping the 4 month wakeful gets a little easier for you in the near future!
And by “helping” and meant “hoping.” Little sleep deprived I guess…
Bless your heart! That is a TON of wakings…I don’t ever remember it being that bad, but maybe that is a good thing! Anyway, my son started to show signs of teething around 4 months and I would swear he was cutting a tooth. Didn’t happen until he was 8.5 months. Second tooth was another month later and by the time he was one he still only had 3 teeth. Teething takes forever!
Teething:
our son just cut his first tooth at 6 months old! He likes to have us rub his gums, and he likes to chomp on things, but he is mostly handling teething really well. It doesn’t seem to bother him that much. I tried the all natural Orajel stuff and he seemed to hate the Orajel taste more than the teething pain, so I stopped using it. The frozen washcloth works well for when he’s fussier- but mostly he wants to chomp on things- our fingers, his toys, whatever is at hand.
The sleep advice that you don’t want:
I know that you are willing to wake up however many times a night that you need to with Lexi. But if you didn’t have to wake up that many times, that would be great, right? When we brought our son home, we coslept b/c it was the best way to get the most sleep. When he got to be about 4 months, though, my husband started insisting that our son would sleep better in his own crib. I insisted that he would not. Around 5 months, I agreed to try it.
I really wanted my husband to be wrong about this- but lo and behold, he was right. Our son started sleeping from 7pm to 4am in his own crib, in his own room with blackout shades. Then he would wake up to eat, then sleep from 4am to 8am. So we had been disturbing his sleep by cosleeping, the little noises we make in our sleep were waking him up. We had also been responding too much. Our son will often cry out once, then resettle himself and go back to sleep.
We have NEVER done CIO and we never will do CIO, and we do NOT let him cry w/o responding. But we had been right there to respond to every prolonged whimper (I used to “play dead” too and then pick him up before the whimpers could escalate too much.) Now we don’t hear all of his little noises, and he doesn’t hear ours, and everyone is sleeping much better. Parenting is all about constantly re-evaluating strategies. Anyhow, this might not be true for Lexi. But would have sworn to you that sleeping on his own would not work for our son, and it did.
I hear ya. Mind you we don’t bedshare, we co-sleep so the movements and such don’t disturb her as much as they would if we bed shared.
We’re happy/ok with where we are with her sleep and are working slowly and gently to encourage better sleep. The log in the post is a one time thing ( hence the disclaimer “please no sleep advice”, since I knew it would bring a ton)- something was bothering her that night, obviously, whether it was teething or not. I feel we’ve got a handle on her nights and day naps, and when she’s ready to STTN or wake up less, that’s fine with us. I am working on helping her learn how to put herself back to sleep without us having to rock her. But I am not pushing it, step by step.
Btw, neither I nor my husband are even at the slightest interested in having her sleep in a different room in her crib. I am lucky, my husband is as committed to Alexis and is so selfless ( not that your husband isn’t, I am just saying we’re on the same page, so no pressure from hubby).
Well, I am glad that every night is not so bad for you as the one you described. My husband wasn’t opposed to our son sleeping with us, and there has never been a more loving and committed father in the history of the world, he just believed that we would all get better sleep with our son in his own room. This turned out to be true. Now that our son is getting several hours of solid sleep, he is so much happier and much more easy-going during the day. I know that you’re willing to get up every hour for Lexi, I am willing to do that for our son, too. But it’s so much better for all of us, but most especially our son, to get good sleep. I hope that there is really good sleep for all of you in the very near future.
So true for us too! After about 5 months of restless sleep and constant nighttime nursing, we booted our LO to his own room in his own crib and low and behold EVERYONE started sleeping through the night. When we went on vacation a couple months ago we were all in the same room at night and he was up like a newborn wanting to nurse non stop (at 10 months old!!!). Come to find out, he could smell mama or something. We just can’t sleep in the same room or he won’t sleep.
This was the same for us. Once our son was put into his own crib at 2 months old his sleep improved over night. He went from sleeping 3-4 hour stretches to 7-8 hour stretches from then on.
My little started to teeth when she was about 4 months and frozen teething toys helped a lot. Also I had those mesh fruit bags, I think Gerber makes them, where you can freeze fruit, like grapes or strawberries, and put them in the mesh bags and snap it shut and the baby can hold on to the ring and chew/suck on the fruit. Tastes good and feels good. The one thing I never realized is that teething follows you long into toddler hood. My little one is just shy of 21 months. She just got her top two “I” teeth (this took a good 3 weeks for them to push through the gums), and is now teething horribly with her bottom ones. She runs high fevers, runny noses, is absolutely miserable and is totally off her normal sleep schedule. She will randomly just start to cry hysterically and will shove her blanket in her mouth and bite down. On the days she spikes high fevers I always cave and give her a dose of children’s tylenol, but only now that she is older, I never did that when she was under 4 months. Of course like you said, teething is individual, every child is different. Best of luck!
My ONLY saving grace during those days was the fact that I didn’t have to get up and go to work the next day. I really admire the moms who do it! My boy started teething a couple of days after his four month bday. The first thing that changes when something isn’t right with him is his sleep (which was/is terrible anyway!). I would only give him tylenol if it really seemed that nothing else was helping. We have a baltic amber necklace that he wears and it really does seem to soothe his pain. Most of the teething toys that we tried were only helpful for a few minutes. I found that the thing that worked best for my little teether was frozen washcloths and cubes of frozen breastmilk in a mesh feeder. And when he got older, chunks of frozen fruit.
She’s so lovely!
You’ve received some great suggestions here on things that may help. You should really consider taking the advice and doing anything DIFFERENT than what you guys are doing right now because it is obviously not working AT ALL. For some babies (and it seems like yours is included) all of the interaction with rocking, nursing and actively trying to soothe every whimper is stimulating and causes the baby to fully wake up when if left alone (or at least not picked up), the baby would go back to sleep. Open eyes and making sounds isn’t necessarily “fully awake” for babies. With so much activity going on at night there is no wonder her body/mind has not yet adjusted to the difference between night and day as far as sleeping patterns and expectations go.
My middle child took the most effort to transition to a good wake/sleep cycle during the day and night, but with trial and error we found ways to get him into a better cycle. That included stimulating him MORE during the day (there is always room for more stimulation) and not letting him sleep too long or too often during the day. We also didn’t force naps on him until he was in an established pattern that didn’t require much effort to get him to sleep. Sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error but the key is to not get stuck into an effective pattern of response as a parent. Good luck!
I meant stuck in an *ineffective* pattern of response! Obviously an effective one is what you a looking for. lol!
Have you read Bringing Up Bebe? It’s a great book and has some really good insight on babies sleeping through the night 🙂
4-6 months is honestly when a lot of people discover their baby does better in their own room with black out shades, even if they were only room sharing and not bed sharing. Especially for babies who wake easily, it can be surprising how just turning over in your sleep can wake them, or a cough here or there or what have you.
I’m a fan of room sharing and I’m not interested in extinction CIO, but do keep in mind as you go slowly with her, sleep really is extremely important and can improve things in daytime as well. Sometimes we are so focused on tending to our babies that we slip into the habit of things that actually inhibit healthy sleep for our babies without meaning to or realizing. Sometimes the thing we are against might actually be best. I know you are open minded about all your options with Alexis and I hope you maintain that with sleep and nights for her as well, should things continue with little sleep for the three of you.
I wanted to let you know she may also be overtired. The more overtired a child is the harder time they have falling asleep. I would recommend Secrets of the Baby Whisperer combined with Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Weissbluth. While we did a very modified CIO type thing (it wasn’t true CIO), it really helped him learn to fall asleep on his own. Babies are not born with the knowledge of how to self soothe. At 4 months the nap schedule/sleep schedule really starts to come together and develop. I would look at the day sleep as well as the night sleep. As for teething, our pediatrician told us they have fake teething symptoms when their sailivary glands start to develop and thats usually around 3 or 4 months. So you get all that drool, cranky, etc.. Hope that helps.
That is so interesting, about the fake teething symptoms! I never heard about that before. Our son went through a period at about 3 months where we really thought he was teething- but then it went away. I guess this was the salivary gland development you refer to. He got his first tooth at 6 months, and the pre-tooth getting period was not nearly as intense as the “fake teething” at 3 months.
Our daughter was 3.5months old when the teething started. She did not cut her first tooth until she was 7 months. She was a cranky pants all day with whining and crying. She would drool a ton, and everything went in her mouth to she could chew! She would also be up multiple times throughout the night screaming. The nights were the worst. I’ve read that when they lay down the pain of teething can be worse. This went on in three or four day stints with breaks in between until she cut her first teeth.
At the end of my rope I bought an amber teething necklace when she was 4 months old since I prefer to keep Advil as a last resort for pain relief purposes. While the amber teething necklace did help with the drooling, and she was no longer a Miss Whinykins all day long. it wasn’t the miracle cure-all that it was for other people I know, but has helped manage her symptoms. Now at 14 months old (and 12 teeth later) she still wears it every day.
You need to chill out. Seriously, why would you even take the time to record all this when you could be sleeping? Over analyzing the baby’s every move, noise and breath will shoot you straight into some depression. Seriously, relax. Babies are not a math problem to be solved, and a book will not give you all the answers. Trust your own instincts for once.
Ummm it’s nice of you to make assumptions but you should work on your reading comprehension because it clearly states that I took the log as part of a Pantley sleep system, a popular and very successful gently no cry method of helping babies sleep.
Gotta love how some people are giving you sleep advice when you *very* clearly stated that you didn’t want/need any…
I understand this completely and YES keep up the great work! Unfortunately people have some unwarrented advice, I thought i wouldn’t bedshare and I did use ‘babywise’ and ferber methods even attempting cry-it-out… it was awful and the only reason my daughter started sleeping through the night was bedsharing! I found out that crying damages and stresses babies. I would have never attempted had I known, I was naive and honestly people claimed it worked so well for them and assume it works for everyone or if you are ‘catering’ to your baby you are doing something wrong! It isn’t wrong! She learned how to sleep on her own just fine and at two and a half rolls over and falls back asleep without problem.
About teething my daughter didn’t get teeth until she was 10 months and she nursed every hour on the rough nights! Good Luck!
Well, my only kid who got teeth that young had no symptoms, it was just *surprise* teeth, and not even in the right order, she got her bottom left canine first.
But my oldest, and only daughter, woke ever hour and nursed for 15-45 minutes out of every hour, without fail, for the entire first year of her life. We night weaned her at 13 months old (because I was pregnant with #2 and had hyperemesis, I could not deal with 12 15 minute stretches of sleep all night long any longer) and got it to her waking every 3 hours…she’ll be 10 years old in September and she still doesn’t sleep through the night…but by 3 years old she was able to get up, get a drink of water and read herself back to sleep, so it’s ok now, she only wakes us up if something is wrong, like she’s sick, in pain or scared. She also gave up naps altogether long before 2 years old. The girl just doesn’t need sleep.
And, to be nice, all 3 of my sons have been awesome sleepers and nappers.
I also am a huge fan of the Amber teething necklace. My little one has been wearing hers since she was about 5 months(19 months now). Before the necklace (and whenever we would take it off) she was a drooling mess – with the necklace, no drool. Currently she is cutting all 4 molars and 2 eye teeth, no sign of discomfort, fever, sleeping changes. In fact, we didn’t even realize she was cutting them until we noticed the teeth while brushing.
No offense hopefully taken but this makes me SO grateful for my little munckin 🙂 She’s like her brother (so far, knock on wood) and loves sleep. Right now she’s been napping in her pram for 2.5 hrs and should wake in the next 30 min to nurse. My only complaint with her eating/sleeping routine is that she will nurse for 45 min to o an hr straight. My nipples are ridiculously sore but that’s life with a newborn! (She’s 5.5 weeks old) and at night she goes to bed around 9-10 and will wake once around 2 and 6 to eat.
On the teething, my now almost 5 year old had two teeth pop up over night when he was 4 months old- the only signs he had before the teeth showed up was excessive drooling. It literally gushed out of his mouth and his poor chin was raw for a couple weeks before they showed up because no matter what lotions/creams we put on him the drool wiped it right off.
That was kind of the point of the post: to make one realize that it’s not that bad even if one’s baby wakes up once or twice a night.
Because of nights like this when Alexis has 2 wake ups I think it’s no biggie 🙂
Somewhere in all these comments there was something about a Babywise book and sleeping through the night at 6 weeks and how that was awful?
Just to let you know, my two children (now 1 and 3) slept through the night at 7 weeks. I didn’t read babywise. I didn’t read any books at all. We brought them home, wished for the best, and when they decided they wanted to sleep through the night, they did.
Sleep issues wont last forever. Some of you dont read the books and get lucky. Others that “are prepared” have babies who dont sleep “through the night” for MONTHS. Maybe years. That should tell us – it’s not the books. It’s what the baby wants to do. I know the sleepless nights were awful. But I thought spending time on reading studies about how I may get through them would only take way from nap time and before you know it, it’s over and you’re sleeping well again.
I was just like you, rocking and nursing my son every 1.5-2 hours because that’s all he would sleep. I kept daily logs and most days he’d sleep a cumulative ten hours a day. Me? I was lucky if I had three straight hours, only achievable when my husband would take over baby watch from 8-11pm. That would be my sons nighttime stretch, then it was up every two hours. And I work full time with a one hour commute each way. So not only did I have to function on no sleep, I had to be alive and productive in my corporate job as well, where I had to pump 4x at work to keep up with bottles while I was gone.
This continued until he was five months and started to wake up every hour. Enough was enough….I had read every sleep training book out there and tried no cry methods but nothing other than cry it out finally stopped the constant wakings. If I stayed at home, perhaps I would have waited it out longer. But I knew there was no way this frequent waking was good for my son, who was also operating on only ten hours (of 24) of sleep a day, and therefore was cranky and fussy when awake. After CIO, he began sleeping four hour stretches. Not great to others but AWESOME for me. It gradually got longer and longer. He was soon down to one night waking, which I would immediately nurse simply because I didnt want to mess things up since they were far better than before. By 11 months he finally started to STTN.
My point is – as a first time mom, I can totally relate having a tough sleeper and doing everything you can to try to soothe them. But I will be honest, after this experience, with #2 I am not going to be as quick to respond after the initial newborn stage. I really do think that my eagerness made the issue worse, and the fact that my boob was in his mouth almost all night was probably used more as a pacifier than for actual need and comfort. It was always quicker to quiet him with boob so that’s what I did, but I probably should have taught him self soothing skills sooner. (Although I can thank all that BFing to keeping my milk supply and losing all my baby weight quickly.)
I had initially assigned all the sleeplessness and drooling and chewing to teething too…he was showing all signs at three months. Well, he didn’t get his first tooth until 13 months so clearly that wasn’t the problem after all!
Every baby is different, you do what is best for your child…and you’re right. It will all pass. I dealt with frequent night wakeups for 11 months….yet somehow it all seems like a faded memory. 🙂
I also thought my son was teething when he hit the 4 month sleep regression (a little early at 3.5 months). We had quite a few nights just like that one. Turns out I was just grasping at straws, and it really was just that – the 4 month sleep regression! He didn’t get his first tooth until 7 months, and it totally surprised us. He had no real symptoms – wasn’t drooling more than normal, no sleep disruption and he wasn’t crankier than usual. He just gummed my hubby’s hand one day and it hurt, so we looked – a tooth! To this day (he’s 23.5 months old now), he has yet to show any teething symptoms besides maybe a slight increase in drool. I’m scared for the 2 year molars though….
My daughter just hit the 4 month sleep regression as well (she’s 4.5 months). I thought I was going to die for a week, but then it started getting better. Hope it continues!
Thank you for sharing the log with us, me and my wife have spent the last 3 nights waking up every two hours.
I thought it was our most tiring experience, so it’s cool to see that it’s not that bad at all 🙂
Not sure if this is still an issue, but you may want to eliminate all the rocking and swinging. Your child may have become dependent on the movement. Try walking/pacing instead.
Thank your for the advice. Actually the frequent wake-ups of our baby were caused by his stomach ache. We realized that we really have to take care about what my wife can and cannot eat, as our baby is still being breast-fed.
Did Lexi ever go on a breast feeding strike? My LO started teething at 4 months and now she will only breastfeed when she is half asleep in the middle of the night. It is killing me because I miss the closeness. Did you ever have this problem or hear about it? Everytime I try to put her to the breast she screams bloody murder.
No I never really did have to deal with a strike. There were times where she was less interest, but I’ve been going by her cues since birth so I let her do whatever she needed to. 4 Months is a little too early for an actual bfing strike. Look into your milk, maybe you started eating new foods like garlic or whatever- that alters the taste of milk. Any smells interfering with bfing like perfume, creams? Is it possible that she is allergic to something in your diet and is rejecting milk because it hurts after she eats… Look into those issues. Good Luck! I am sure you’ll figure it out. See a LC, too, if you’re worried.