I have had these pictures of Lexi reading a book with daddy from a few months ago and they are just precious to me. I’ve said before that she is very attached to me and most of the time no one else will do. I actually want to write a detailed post about it. Share my experience with attachment (breastfeeding attachment, attachment parenting all in one), which in our case is a classic one. I know there are many women out there that I have talked to and have written to me that have babies who are securely attached and I am sure it will be an interesting post.
So needless to say any uninterrupted, sweet time with daddy has been treasured. Especially in photos.
Cute pics. Does it bother you that she is not as close with her daddy? I think that would make me sad. I have a one year-old, and so far, I think my husband and I are pretty much equals in her eyes. Sure, there are certain tasks that one or the other of us might be better at/preferred for, but overall, either one of us is acceptable to her and she is very attached to us both. Does it put a strain on your and Andrew’s relationship for your relationships with Lexi to be so uneven? I could see that being really hard.
No it doesn’t. We both see it as a completely normal thing in a child’s development ( especially breastfed one). I spend 24/7 with her, I play with her, I rough house with her, I feed her- it’s only natural that she has that kind of preference. It just makes the “I love daddy moments” more precious when she hugs him or kisses him good night every time we go for a nap, or reads with him. They have their own activities that they love doing together. And Andrew sees it the exact same way, his number one focus has always been what’s best for Lexi, so he is happy she has a strong attachment to me.
As a side note, she’s been requesting daddy more and more lately, even when going to sleep. Sometimes I have to call him into the nursery to lie down with us because she won’t nap without A-Da-da being there.
I agree so much, RB. It would have broken my husband’s heart if moment’s like this were rare. After being with me all day, they couldn’t wait for daddy to get home from work so they could play! Given that I breastfed both of them, of course we shared a different bond, but my husband was just as important to them as I was.
Sorry to hear your husband would take a preference for mother personal. I think it’s a good and natural thing if a child is more attached to his/her mother, especially when the mom is breastfeeding. His/her life then literally depends on the mother, so it is only logical the bond with mother is stronger. When a child is securely attached to his/her primary caregiver, then he/she can form other healthy relationships.
Actually, all of the science I have read regarding attachment theory (as distinct from “attachment parenting”) suggests that most babies are capable of forming strong attachments to 2-3 primary caregivers. Indeed, this would have been the norm for most of human history, when extended families lived together and grandparents cared for babies while younger parents engaged in the more strenuous labor. Some babies may exhibit very strong preference for a single caregiver, likely the mother, and that’s fine (every baby is an individual), but to suggest that strong attachment can only be developed at the expense of the father is harmful, in my opinion.
Keyword is “are capable” given that those caregivers spend close to equal amount of time taking care of the baby. And like you said even then it’s individual.
Dads are often preferred especially in later years because they are the fun physical type engaging in rough and tumble play.
In our case I am the physical fun one, my husband is more of a “read her a book” low key type.
I’ve noticed in general that Alexis prefers those who are crazy fun around her, running, screaming, are excited. She loves out housekeeper because of that lol
So precious! I love these photos
so sweet.
other than dr. seuss, what are some of lexi’s favorite books? my son is her age and i’m always looking for good books! thank you!
Oh we have sooooo many! I am trying to write a post about that. 🙂 Just hang in there for a week or so and I will list all of the favorites. It’s hard to think off the top of my head right now