We’re both super busy with work. It’s a great feeling- I love working and being busy.
For a while there, I liked the idea of being a stay at home mom– no work or money worries, just cooking, cleaning, blogging, picture taking and taking care of the baby. And for some people it might work, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I really need to work to feel fulfilled.
So we had a few discussions about what it’s going to be like when we have an infant, how we’re going to deal with it. Hubby might like the old-timey idea of being a bread winner and having his wife “barefoot-and-pregnant”, but even he realizes that everything would fall apart at work without me. I’m the client relationship manager and the marketer and the processor and the paper pusher, among other things. And those are the things you just can’t teach. You either hate it or love it, have it or not. I do, he doesn’t.
He does other things fabulously though, but we both know that as soon as I am gone, those things will go by way side and while the processing and administrative stuff can be neglected for a while without huge consequences, the marketing and the client relationships are something that needs to be done daily for as long as you need your business running, or soon it’ll slow down to a turtle walk.
He can’t be a stay at home dad for those reasons as well, besides the fact that I’d never in a million years trade time with my baby for career. We’re lucky we have options!
We sort of decided that we will BOTH be stay-at-home parents ( since we mostly work from home). We will make sure that we are home 100% of the time, except for client meetings and showings and we share the duties equally. Since our fully equipped home office is right next to the room that will be a nursery, we will attend to our newborn, based on turns and/or whoever is available at the moment. Tentatively, we decided Andrew will have the diaper duty and I will be doing breastfeeding in the very beginning, since newborns tend to pee/poop and eat at the same rate. And evenings and weekends will be spent as a family.
Right now our cooking/cleaning has pretty much the same agreement. We do it all together, unless one person is less busy than another. But we really end up waiting for the other person to free up so that we could go make lunch/dinner together. Hubby is more active in the morning, making breakfasts, I’m usually the dinner person. So we’ll see how it works with the baby.
Plus I am really hoping my mom, who’s recently retired, will be here for the first 3+ months. She’s a HUGE help! I love having her around, she doesn’t mind helping with cooking and cleaning and is a super loving person. I’d trust her 100% with our baby not just from the safety standpoint but knowing that she would give him/her all the attention and love a new baby needs, because she was a terrific mom to us and grandma to my niece and nephew.
One thing I will mind losing when I get pregnant though – my friends and our weekend boat and beach outings. I had to bite my tongue when they were making plans for May, because there is possibility I won’t be able to go again until I have the baby if I get pregnant in May. It is definitely going to be hard to resist the temptation to go see people, especially with how they just don’t get why on earth I’d limit human contact during the pregnancy ( lowered immune system during pregnancy+germs+toxins=not a risk I care to take ).
J. (pictured below) even volunteered to be our baby‘s Naples grandpa, so it’ll be extra hard to say no to him when he wants us to come by.
(both our families are far away, but we already lined up our 1 st set of stand-in grandparents and working on second starting with J.)