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Supposedly it’s going to get fixed.
I’m talking about the health insurance bull.
But I am not holding my breath.
With people like that, you never know …until the fat lady sings…or however it goes.
So about Monday I will be calling into Membership and Billing and verifying that my maternity Benefit is in fact starting March 1st…retroactive…
So there, bitches! (not you..the Blue Cross bitches)

In the meantime I am starting to doubt the whole baby thing again… haha. Has anyone experienced that? Those of you who planned pregnancy extensively ( as in before tossing birth control)? I’m like a yo-yo on the subject. I want a baby to play with but I don’t want the hassle… It’s really getting on my nerves.

And is it smart to just go ahead with it “hoping” that I am full of it? But on the other hand, will I ever WANT WANT a baby, with everything that I love doing and all the hobbies and work? I think maybe by 50 🙂

So anyways, if anyone has some insight, it’d be highly appreciated.

This is how I spent my Sunday

And just so that we’re clear, this whole subject of “should I? Shouldn’t I?” or “Do i want? Don’t I?” is going to come up more… I am sure I won’t be done here and will need more of your bloggy moral support.

So consider yourseves warned!

On another note, I just took a few super pretty selfies, with trees and sun and light and flares. Can’t wait to post, but right now I am wasting time on the internet waiting for hubby to get out of the shitter and go work out with me. {heh! My hubby will get a kick out of this last sentence! NOT}

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  • Reply
    Ashley Sisk
    March 25, 2011 at 7:41 PM

    I’m sure you’re not the only one who has experienced this although I’m definitely wanting a baby right now. I’ll be here supporting you – hoping we’re pregnant at the same time.

  • Reply
    March 25, 2011 at 8:22 PM

    I don’t have kids yet but I have a feeling once you have a baby, you won’t see it as a hassle, but something you love doing more than anything in the world! 🙂

    • Reply
      Elena @ Art of Making a Baby
      March 26, 2011 at 6:44 PM

      You’re right. And that’s exactly what I keep telling myself, it’s just it’s hard to imagine when you’ve never experienced it.

  • Reply
    March 26, 2011 at 2:23 AM

    I have a son, who is one, and a baby on the way. Here is my little bit of advice, for what it’s worth. ; ) Pregnancy is a very difficult time, emotionally and especially physically. Morning sickness was very brutal with my first pregnancy! I was so sick, I could hardly make it through the day, thankfully this pregnancy has gone much better. Also, the weight gain is very hard for some women. It’s hard to feel good about yourself when you’re 9 months pregnant, regardless. I guess what I’m trying to say is pregnancy is very hard, and I REALLY, REALLY wanted to be pregnant! I’m sure when your baby came, you would love it, no matter what! It’s a very big job though, and if it were me, I wouldn’t do it until I was 100% ready. Good luck!

    • Reply
      Elena @ Art of Making a Baby
      March 26, 2011 at 6:48 PM

      I have such complex feelings about it all. I know I want a baby, I know it’s time, but to take the plunge… Ouch! Especially because of how hard pregnancy is. And I don’t take parenthood lightly. I want to be able to give all of ourselves to our child. That’s why I am scrutinizing my feelings like that. Besides, it’s all the waiting speaking. I’m sure once I have the go ahead, I’ll be loving the idea.

      • Reply
        March 26, 2011 at 7:20 PM

        It really is wonderful, and a lot of fun! Very trying at times and a lot of work, but really, a lot of fun. I totally understand being at little scared, though! Both of my pregnancies were planned, I charted and everything, but still when you find out it’s a little scary. It’s a very big adjustment that affects your whole life, but once you hold that little baby, it’s the most amazing feeling in the world! I love being a mom!

  • Reply
    March 26, 2011 at 8:37 PM

    This pregnancy was planned. I am very excited about it, we knew we wanted at least two kids from the beginning. It’s going to be a huge change, though. People have two kids all the time, and I know we’ll be fine, too, but it is a little scary! ; ) There never is really a “perfect” time to have a second kid, or even a first. There are good and bad things about waiting or having them early/close together. We ARE a little more prepared, with how to handle the newborn stage, and getting the baby on a better sleep schedule right away, but doing all the newborn stuff AND having a toddler is new to us.

  • Reply
    March 30, 2011 at 1:14 AM

    I was terrified of having kids and getting pregnant and then one day it was like a switch flipped and I HAD to have a baby. I’m really glad I was ready and excited because pregnancy sucked for me both times (no complications, just was sick and didn’t like it) and when my son was born he was colicky and wouldn’t stop crying. All I could think was “what have we done?!?!” but about two days into it, we started to bond and pretty soon I was wearing my heart on the outside of my body, it was all in my baby. Sure it was super hard and you sacrifice SO much but it’s so worth it. There are literally no words to explain how you are changed. If you think you know what love is, it is nothing compared to what you will feel for your child. If you have a baby, you will some day look back on this post and chuckle thinking about the idea of “a baby to play with but not sure of the hassle” cause hassle is a huge understatement. Every single aspect of your life will change! And playing is an understatement too. You can’t imagine the joy and delight you will take in seeing your baby smile and doing silly things to make them happy. I’m not sure this response helps…on one hand, I would say be ready, be ready to make the sacrifices necessary and on the other hand I would say go for it. You can never truly be ready and when the time comes, you’ll be up for the task. I don’t know how old you are (you look super young!) but if you are young enough and are not worried about your clock, maybe take some more time and do it when you really want it and are excited? Sorry for rambling! XOXO

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