Negativity and Happiness in Social Media and on the Internet

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Let’s talk about the state of internet and people’s happiness….

I feel so so sorry for people who spew venom in comments. I see it on every single article posted on the internet, on every single blog. I always shake my head and move onto something more important.

I have long since learned to ignore the sad little people who deem it their responsibility to come to my blog or social media pages and comment something irrelevant, critical or outright nasty.

But then once in a while, when at my happiest with humanity  and people around me, it will catch me off guard. When I see it posted on someone else’s blog or picture and it just takes me a second to process. What? Someone is throwing trash at this person who did nothing to them?

That’s just not how I function. I do not expect to read something normal and positive and expect something negative. I love people and I expect the best out of them.

I also love sharing and reading about other people’s opinions. I  still might  stick to my own (because generally they are there for a reason and are well thought out), but will consider other arguments.

Like I loved reading all the comments and opinions on cutting or not cutting kids’ hair on my instagram and facebook. I smiled a little when some commenters seemed to give ME advice for what to do when I did not ask for it, I simply shared what I am doing and asked what they do. But I take that with a grain of salt at this point. Parents just do that, take things personally and push their opinions on others. No. Big. Deal. And I loved simply hearing what many of you do with your children’s hair.

Same thing on the Disney for Adults post on instagram and facebook. Great responses! Loved reading all the opinions.

But then you get stupid stuff like. A while ago, I posted a beautiful picture of happy Lexi congratulating everyone with the first day of spring on instagram and facebook. Think about it! It was us wishing EVERYONE a happy day! What could be better? I also asked what the weather was like where ever everyone else is. It was fun to read all the temps and locations!

But wouldn’t you know it? Some people found it important to educate me that March 1st is not the first day of spring. Not answer the question, or wish it back or say something happy. But to simply critically point out that I AM WRONG, nothing else. And to continue to argue their right to be an asshole!

Honestly who the fuck cares? Like really? Does it matter that I (and millions of people outside of US) consider March 1st as the 1st day of the first month of spring? Last I heard March was considered a spring month, not a winter month.

Does it really change anything in my message? Does it make my spring wishes less potent? Or invalid? Or my happiness unjustified?

Fuck, I live in Florida. As far as I am concerned every day is a fucking spring day. But I remember the joy it brought to me growing up when I would see March 1st on the calendar. First day of spring, soon it won’t be cold!

It is not the criticism that bothers me. I personally have never cared about what other people thought and this isn’t a post about ME. But I have to wonder what must go through a person’s mind when they see a happy post and decide that instead of passing on the positivity, they have to shut it down with pointless negativity.

What they must feel inside, deep deep inside, is a lot of unhappiness. It has to be it. Right?

I used laugh at comments like that. I saw through them and I laughed. But now it just makes me sad. Because I see them everywhere and it makes me sad for humanity. I shake my head in awe at what would bring a person to not just move on but take the time to comment something irrelevant or negative. I get sad that there are people like that, sitting there trolling comments for something negative to say Because it can’t be a happy life, one of constant negativity and anger and attack. I sign and then I move my focus back to where it belongs, my own life (sometimes I argue if I feel like it, but it’s rare nowadays)

And the argument of “you put your life out there, you take this shit”, that’s complete bull. We put our lives out there to spread happiness, to help, to educate, to share, to inspire, to bringing positivity. That is the only reason anyone would blog about their life. There is no innate rule that says that you MUST comment on everything that annoys you. But if one possesses enough social intelligence and enough inner happiness, they will certainly not stop and take a minute to direct their negativity at others, because that negativity does not exist there.

Yes, I roll my eyes and get annoyed by many things people post, but do you know what I do then? Click away, move on, get some shit done in my life. I know many of you that do the same.

So I just wanted to express this. Randomly and for no reason. Just sat out and wrote it out in 15 minutes.

For those of you who lead happy lives and wish others happiness, I love you! Like really, I do! I read all the comments and every time I read about your lives or things you share or just your opinions, I smile and send positive, happy vibes back to you.

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  • Reply
    July 11, 2018 at 12:56 AM

    Hi Elena! Hope you’re doing well. I thought I’d chime in on this since you sound, well, a little upset. I have commented on here a few times before (one I remember was telling you about how I had to re-read your blog post about packing for the hospital before labor because it was so helpful ha!). Thanks for that btw.

    OMG I have so much to say about this post. (In an honest way, not meant to be bad or good…but just…honest)

    Anyway, the type you describe…the one who only chimes in when it’s negative…the one who comments only when they only want to comment something “bad”…well that’s probably someone like me.

    Now hear me out! I’m only speaking for myself.

    So the spring thing on your Instagram post…had I seen that, I wouldn’t have commented but I definitely would’ve wondered to myself..”Wait, wouldn’t that be the 21st?”. But that wouldn’t have been a big enough deal to me to go back and forth with it. If anything I would’ve been like…”Happy first day of spring in 21 days, Elena!” or something. Maybe a wink emoji to make it playful. I looked at the instagram post via your link and, yes, it did look a little contentious.

    So about being that person who always comments “negatively”.

    I’m a generally happy and grateful person. I have a loving family, live in a trendy, expensive neighborhood in Portland, Oregon (in Portland proper, not some suburb). I am healthy, have great friends who are likeminded, have an intentional lifestyle. I’ll admit that I *can* be a little elitist sometimes but I think a part of that has to do with where I live and the kind of people I’m around. The kind of people who have nice craftsman homes, old cars that we’ve had in college that we all refuse to get rid of because we don’t want to buy new ones because then it’ll cause a new one to be made… have thousand dollar bicycles because we have a big bike culture here. We would never drink Starbucks because that’s second wave coffee. We are the ones who stress if we have to buy something new if we can’t find something secondhand because again, we’d cause something new to be made if we bought whatever it is that we wanted new.

    So obviously, I’m also the kind of person who stresses about things that affect the world.

    And honestly, there is quite a bit to be angry about. While most of those things fortunately don’t apply to me, they do apply to other human beings so I find myself empathic towards them.

    For example…If someone has a video on youtube about whatever topic and their cat shows up….and that they got them from a pet store, I would totally be the person who would comment nothing about the rest of the video but only about how awful it is to buy a pet from the pet store. Because it is and most likely, the person doesn’t know that. Most people don’t know or understand that it’s just incredibly horrible to do such a thing. At that point, the rest of the video doesn’t matter anymore because I probably stopped watching it. Instead of me learning from the video, I end up getting a distressing experience. So at that point, there isn’t anything positive to say.

    And if, say, the post was awesome but everything has already been said like “You rule!” or “You’re so right!” I most likely wouldn’t feel the need to comment since I would consider it redundant and, well, probably annoying to the poster.

    So it’s not necessarily me being unhappy or negative and ungrateful. It’s really about being realistic and speaking out.

    Also…back to being grateful about everything. I also just realized the other day that I’m kind of a know-it-all and think I do everything right because, well, I stress over doing everything right. Here’s an example: My daughter attends a Waldorf school. When I had to tell a new mom at my daughter’s preschool that a Wonder Woman cup wasn’t allowed because OMG media characters, I realized I became THAT mom. Honestly though, I did it because I wanted to save her the embarrassment from being told by the teacher in front of everyone else that it wasn’t allowed. I also happened to have a backup cup to offer her child to use that day (with no logos) so I discreetly told her all this without anyone else around. Still it probably sucked to have someone else tell her that she was doing something “wrong” when she was probably trying to promote girl power or something.

    And I will admit that if I am on instagram and I’ll see a real-life friend’s post and they are using styrofoam plates because they grilled outside, I’d be like “DUDE, WHERE IS YOUR REGULAR KITCHEN PLATE!?” OMG I’M CRAZY! LOL!

    Dang this was like therapy. ?

    So thanks for posting this and truly asking. For what it’s worth, we’re not all unhappy, depressed, toxic people. Some of us…are I guess…just passionate about maybe a little too eager about some things.. 😉

    • Reply
      Elena @ Every Avenue Life
      July 11, 2018 at 7:39 AM

      Hahahah I laughed/smiled reading this whole thing. Also shook my head a little bit, like “come on, girl!”, but I get it. I get you and where you’re coming from. I am also not the one without judgement. I bitch in my head at people for being stupid or doing ignorant things. And I don’t mind to necessarily be THAT mom, because all I am doing is taking care of my kids, the way I want to.
      But here is the thing, there is a way to say something nicely and there is a way to be an asshole. If I felt like other people “cared” about my opinion ( which I do not because I largely do not care about people’s opinions myself), I would nicely tell them “Hey, this is a shitty thing to do and here is why, cuz I know most people don’t know about it”. But people don’t care. Those who use styrofoam plates do it for the most part because they don’t care to use anything else, regardless of how much you tell them that it’s bad for the environment. I learned that when sharing a lot of information I researching on pre-pregnancy and pregnancy. Even friends were like “Eh, it will be fine”.

      I generally don’t take the time, even if it’s for “educational reasons”. It’s great that you feel so passionate about things that you do. (not being sarcastic here). But there is always a way to say things the way they are meant, which is from a good place, not a bad one ( which is easy to misinterpret on the internet). And this post was LARGELY about those who say things just to stick it to someone, I see it so much on other people’s blogs and accounts ( I am not nearly active enough to get that shit myself anymore, the trolls got bored with me lol), and it makes me sad for the people who comment that stuff. Based on what you wrote, I don’t think you fall into that category and I wasn’t upset, more like “shaking my head/these people” type of post. haha

      Thank you for taking the time to comment and share with me!

  • Reply
    August 1, 2018 at 12:15 PM

    People also put their lives out there for income, let’s not forget that important motivating factor for blogging.

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