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{note: when I say WORK or STUFF to do- I mean actual work for the businesses we own, that make us actual money. When I say BLOG WORK or BLOG STUFF, I mean work related to this blog, so it's more like a hobby}
Whenever Andrew and I discussed parenting before we had a baby, we agreed on pretty much everything. One of those things being that both parents, mother and father, should have an equally active role in a child's life, if possible. See, we were both working together, each pulling 50% of the work load. We also cleaned the house together. We cooked together ( he would cut, I would cook). We played together. We watched movies and shows together. When I got pregnant, we took care of my pregnant self together when I was sick as a dog the first few months, we prepared for birth together, we read parenting books together ( though that last one was hard, because Andrew hates reading) So it was only natural that we would go into parenting thinking that we would do a precise unconditional 50/50.
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My husband wasn’t a natural, per se, but he learned really really quickly. Like your husband, he helps out as much as he possibly can with our 2 year old, and he always has. I formula fed and we even split night time feeding duties. Now he does bath time and I do bed time.
Now that’s she’s older, he’s really come into his own as a dad. They play together, goof around, do wild and silly things and DD just loves that. She needs that bc I’m more the nurturer and her dad is the wilder, playing one. It’s beautiful to see them together. There is something SO special about a little girl and her daddy.
What helped me get some work done (I have some freelance projects and work from home now), was to get a nanny for my son. I know you’re not keen on the idea, and I wasn’t either, but I figured that I will be just in the other room in case something happens, I can feed him anytime, or put him to nap if she cannot manage, it’s 3 hours a day only (2xweek), and he actually can use some new games and songs that nanny has. It’s been working out really great. Maybe it’s an option?
P.S. I LOVE Lexi with her iny ponny tails!!
I have been following you for awhile and I’ve never posted a comment, but my fiance and I have been talking about parenting more and more and I just had to comment. Concerning future children, I hope we can split responsibilities 50/50, but I know things will change immediately upon the arrival of our first child. However, I feel that being proactive now and discussing it will help (a bit?) when the chaos of a child comes. My motto is “If it takes two to make it, it takes two to raise it!” I’m glad to hear you went with the flow–I hope I’m as laid back as you about new baby chaos because I like to plan and list and organize and I twitch when it doesn’t go my way… I guess I’ll be on one crazy ride when I become a mama! P.S. Lexi’s hair in pigtails? ADORABLE!!
we changed roles… i work, daddy stays at home.
it’s hard for me to leave the baby at home, the first days i was crying while leaving the house….
but now, everything is fine 🙂 the baby seems to like daddy more than me, but that doesn’t matter. he will know who i am, when he gets older.
when i get home, its my turn to do everything with the baby. feed, play, change and bring him to bed, so he doesn’t think, that i’m a stranger 😉 and it works 🙂
“…boob babies are strongly attached to their mommies.”
FYI: formula-fed babies are “strongly attached to their mommies” too.
I so agree with that! I formula-fed both my girls (who are now 5 and 3) and they’re still super-attached to me! But they’re also super close to their daddy, and he also got to enjoy the wonderful duty of feeding them. All babies, I think, are most attached to their primary cargiver. I have a good friend who is a stay-at-home-dad to 4 kids, and they are all stuck on him! 🙂
I kind of meant attached as in “I’m her primary food source” and that she was literally almost “attached” to me 😉
It wasn’t meant to imply that formula babies don’t get attached. I think they attach to whoever feeds them most and spends most time with them, which in the case of BFing, mothers usually are.
I had thought that we’d bottle feed her expressed milk too but it didn’t work out that way…
Wow! I never knew about that audit!
I can only imagine how hard it was to focus being sleep deprived and tired and just wanting to be with Lexi.
Andrew is so adorable with Lexi 🙂
I totally don’t know what to do with babies either, but Massi (having had one already) seems to know exactly what to do :)))))
We’ll see 🙂
Love the way you edited the pics for this post!
On one where you have a blue top and Lexi is sitting on your leg – Lexi totally looks like you 🙂
Yeah it kind of sucked! I cried when i got the audit letter cuz things were already overwhelming. Luckily it went without a hitch and we actually got more deductions in that I hadn’t included the first time around lol
Re: not knowing what to do, oh trust me you will!!! 🙂
Re: picture, right? I need to put it side by side with a 4 year old me.
I totally hear ya on the boob babies attached to their mommies. At least with formula fed babies anyone can feed them. I’m all my son has (since we don’t give bottles or pacifiers). It’s nice to see tho it isn’t exactly how you had envisioned it you two still work well together!!
I LOVE this post!! I just found out that I’m pregnant (8 weeks along!) and I have been wondering what our lives will be like once we bring in a baby. I’m excited but a little nervous too, I don’t want to lose my husband because I am too focused on the baby ALL the time, which I understand is what they need but I hope you get what I mean. I just want to make sure that I don’t ignore my husband!
Anyway! I love your little photoshoot!!! Are those selfies?
You serious? OMG congrats! I am so happy for you! You will do fine. As long as you INCLUDE your husband and he wants to be included, noone will feel left out.
Re: photoshoot, YES THEY ARE 🙂 Some of my first real selfies with Lexi. It’s a million times harder to do it with a baby, especially one that doesn’t walk. For the ones on the bed, I prepared, but the soft looking ones we kind of did spur of the moment, I had the camera propped up on a trash can LOL I am slowly trying to get back to self-portraiture.
Wait how did you get Lexi to look at the camera since they are selfies?
I try to wave my hand in that direction before the shutter goes off lol
She’s always looked at the camera though, ever since she was a newborn.
Plus I think the blinking light on the camera when it’s in remote mode catches her eye.
Thanks!!!! I am very very excited and so is hubby! I’ve been re-reading all of your pregnancy posts. 🙂
The photos are BEAUTIFUL!!! I miss your defies so I’m always happy to see them! You’re so talented!!
Wow, so if these are some of your first “Selfies” since Alexis, who has been taking most of the other photos of you?? Is your husband good with photography? Do you have a photographer follow you around (haha)? 🙂
I guess I have to say first “themed selfies”. Where I didn’t Just take a snapshot…
Hubby takes a lot of pics of Lexi and me. I usually set it up, tell him where to shoot and the composition and then he takes it from there. Pics of Lexi are taken by me. So between the two of us we take a lot of pics.
I’m very impressed you get THAT much done of the blog stuff in one (!) hour!!!! It takes me weeks sometimes to get to writing 🙁 and I do not have any children – just work, uni, gym and life 🙂 I leave home at 7am and I get home by about 9pm and literally fall asleep as I open my apartment’s door 🙂 lol fairly hectic! And I don’t write things down so when I get time to blog I forget stuff 🙁 gota re evaluate my blogging!
Thank you for your sharing!!!! 🙂
Even the best daddy’s with babies actually THRIVE when babies reach toddlerhood. That’s when they shine and step into their own because the babies DO interact with them. My husband is an amazing father but now that my son interacts with him, the relationship is on a whole new level.
This will be so cool for Lexi to read when she’s older!
I also run my own business from home and my little one is 6mths. I breastfeed too and settle her while lying down on my bed. I’d love to hear more about your settling techniques in the evening? I know you cosleep, and I basically do too with my little ones cot pushed right up against my bed and the rail taken off. I’m a breastfeeding mummy too and yes they are constantly attached it would seem!
Hi Alessandra!
There’s not much to our evening routine. After a walk dinner bath, we lie down and I nurse her to sleep. That’s all.
What do you guys do for work?
ps- I LOVE reading posts like these 🙂 and I’m so jealous you both get to be home with the baby although I imagine it would drive me wild. We had a little taste of it during the two hurricanes (and no power and no daycare for a week each) and I can’t imagine lasting past the week. Although it’s so diff since we were both under TIGHT schedules employed for someone else and trying to EACH get 40 hrs a week at the same time. ugh
I can imagine it must be hard. I think grass is always greener. When you stay home, you want to feel productive and work. When you work, you dream about staying home. 🙂