Stuff my husband says..

Husband showing Lexi things in the pantry and labeling them for her (per my request, helps with speech development in the future):

– “This is bread!” (point at a stale French baguette) “It’s rock hard…. You could fend off a thief with it….”

– “This is macaroni. It’s good. You can spread it on the floor and the thief would crunch on them as he walks and you’ll know he is coming…”

– “These are potato chips.” {pauses as he’s thinking} “…You can feed them to the thief and he will die from obesity?”

{while changing the diaper}

– “Clean up on aisle one. Clean up on aisle one. And by aisle one I mean the crack of your ass.”

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19 Comments

  • Reply
    Verna
    June 13, 2012 at 8:45 AM

    Haha! That’s awesome!

  • Reply
    Lorraine
    June 13, 2012 at 8:54 AM

    Oh my goodness, I LOVE this! Thanks for making me laugh, nearly though I was going to give birth.
    Keep the great posts coming. I have been following you for a while now and visit your blog daily to see if I missed anything.
    I would love it if you would follow mine and like my Facebook/Twitter pages.

    Lorraine

  • Reply
    Elena C.
    June 13, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    LOL!!!! :))))))

  • Reply
    Heather @Cookies For Breakfast
    June 13, 2012 at 12:07 PM

    Hahahaha this is hilarious! I think this needs to be a regular post – I love it!!!!

  • Reply
    Tara
    June 13, 2012 at 12:08 PM

    bahaha! I love it!!! That last one… had me dieing of laughter!

    • Reply
      Anna
      June 13, 2012 at 1:19 PM

      Hahaha that’s funny!
      I love the songs my partner makes up when he bathes our son. Something about bugs in his hair 😛

  • Reply
    Sarah T
    June 13, 2012 at 1:15 PM

    Hi Elena,

    I’m usually a lurker but I’ve been wanting to know how speaking Russian to Alexis is going. Also, I loved this post! Have a great day!

    • Reply
      Elena @The Art of Making a Baby
      June 13, 2012 at 2:14 PM

      Hi Sarah!
      It’s going better than I expected but at the same time not. 🙂 I am speaking Russian to her but I didn’t realize how hard it would be finding words or not reverting to English when I don’t think. Overall, I think we are doing good, but I would like to continue improving.

  • Reply
    Bevin
    June 13, 2012 at 1:18 PM

    Oh geez. My favorite is the one about potato chips. 🙂

  • Reply
    Julia
    June 13, 2012 at 1:28 PM

    Rofl that is epic!

  • Reply
    Jessica
    June 13, 2012 at 3:31 PM

    *like* very much:)

  • Reply
    Anna
    June 13, 2012 at 8:00 PM

    That is hilarious !!!!! 🙂

  • Reply
    Krista
    June 13, 2012 at 8:04 PM

    Love them all, but the last one especially. When my husband lets me sleep in, I often hear him saying funny things to her too. She’s 23 months so she then repeats them. It’s adorable.

  • Reply
    me
    June 13, 2012 at 9:20 PM

    This is cute. My hubby is similar, he says ridiculous things to our son and it makes me laugh.

  • Reply
    Noelle
    June 14, 2012 at 8:02 AM

    New reader! I love your blog. This post made me laugh so hard!

  • Reply
    Ashley @ A Recipe for Sanity
    June 14, 2012 at 10:16 PM

    LOL! Your husband is hilarious. I love posts like this!

  • Reply
    kristy
    June 15, 2012 at 10:37 AM

    hahahah by the crack of your ass! love that!

  • Reply
    Sonya
    June 26, 2012 at 6:03 PM

    I literally laughed out loud to the last one hahahahaha

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